The Family (The Coli movie club) - also some rules
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CEITEDMOFO
Banned
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I give THE FAMILY two out of five Eberts: :ebert::ebert:
This movie defied my preconceived notions. I wen into it expecting a sanitized "funny mob" movie in the vein of MY COUSIN VINNIE or ANALYZE THIS but instead it was a darkly comic film that never shied away from showing violence or depicting this entire family as a bunch of damaged sociopaths who solved almost all of their problems in ways both self-destructive and just plain old destructive to others.
The cast was appealing with DeNiro actually acting more than I have gotten used to from him recently. He has been sleepwalking through so many of these types of movies that the times when he actually flexes is considerable acting muscles it is a rare treat. Pfeiffer was pretty much channelling her Angela DeMarco character from 1988's MARRIED TO THE MOB to pleasant effect.
The kids were a weak part of the movie with their stories seeming very incomplete. Maybe if a little more time was spent showing the son amassing a reputation as a mini-thug his decision to leave town would have mattered more and if the daughter's relationship with her math tutor was shown onscreen more then maybe her decision to have sex with him then contemplate suicide after he rejected her would have not made her look like a total lunatic.
The way the mob found out that DeNiro and his family were in Normandy was so farfetched that I got secondhand embarressment for Luc Besson for ever letting it get on screen.
Tommy Lee Jones barely tried to act like he was interested in this movie. He spent the entirety of his time onscreen looking like he would rather be anywhere else in the world.
I give THE FAMILY props for not shying way from the high body count and ultra-violence and liked DeNiro and Pfeiffer in their roles but the film never fully committed to be an action-comedy as much as it seemed to do comedy for a few scenes and action for a few scenes but never did the two meld together like the action-comedy classics from the 80s like BEVERLY HILLS COP or 48 HOURS or even more recent films like PINEAPPLE EXPRESS.
The cast was appealing with DeNiro actually acting more than I have gotten used to from him recently. He has been sleepwalking through so many of these types of movies that the times when he actually flexes is considerable acting muscles it is a rare treat. Pfeiffer was pretty much channelling her Angela DeMarco character from 1988's MARRIED TO THE MOB to pleasant effect.
The kids were a weak part of the movie with their stories seeming very incomplete. Maybe if a little more time was spent showing the son amassing a reputation as a mini-thug his decision to leave town would have mattered more and if the daughter's relationship with her math tutor was shown onscreen more then maybe her decision to have sex with him then contemplate suicide after he rejected her would have not made her look like a total lunatic.
The way the mob found out that DeNiro and his family were in Normandy was so farfetched that I got secondhand embarressment for Luc Besson for ever letting it get on screen.
Tommy Lee Jones barely tried to act like he was interested in this movie. He spent the entirety of his time onscreen looking like he would rather be anywhere else in the world.
I give THE FAMILY props for not shying way from the high body count and ultra-violence and liked DeNiro and Pfeiffer in their roles but the film never fully committed to be an action-comedy as much as it seemed to do comedy for a few scenes and action for a few scenes but never did the two meld together like the action-comedy classics from the 80s like BEVERLY HILLS COP or 48 HOURS or even more recent films like PINEAPPLE EXPRESS.
storyteller
Superstar
I'm with it for sure!
StraxStrax
I'm selling these fine leather jackets
@Jello Biafra
FUUUUUUUUCK I forgot about this, this was horrible
"The way the mob found out that DeNiro and his family were in Normandy was so farfetched that I got secondhand embarressment for Luc Besson for ever letting it get on screen."
"The way the mob found out that DeNiro and his family were in Normandy was so farfetched that I got secondhand embarressment for Luc Besson for ever letting it get on screen."
Rich Spirit
#LeveledUp
Will watch it
That part was just stupid and bordered on the fantastical.
Dope idea Brehs.
Good lookin out taggin me in.
I was JUST firing up Netflix on the smart TV without a movie in mind. I like the idea of using Netflix joints (Hulu Plus?) - Breh.. if you don't have Netflix.. get that sh"t. Immediately. - but if it's one'a dem classics it wouldn't be outrageous to cop for $1.99 on Amazon or.. whatever. We all internet hobbyists so we can find it if we serious.
Will edit in the review in a couple hours. (Didn't read past page 1 yet just to avoid any spoilage).
Edit:
Good lookin out taggin me in.
I was JUST firing up Netflix on the smart TV without a movie in mind. I like the idea of using Netflix joints (Hulu Plus?) - Breh.. if you don't have Netflix.. get that sh"t. Immediately. - but if it's one'a dem classics it wouldn't be outrageous to cop for $1.99 on Amazon or.. whatever. We all internet hobbyists so we can find it if we serious.
Will edit in the review in a couple hours. (Didn't read past page 1 yet just to avoid any spoilage).
Edit:
Grafx: Basic. Servicable. Some expensive lookin fx, but nothing amazing.
Breax (Acting/Action): Dope. High production value, emotionally engaging.
Soundtrax: Basic. Appropriate, not memorable.
Lyrix (Writing): Basic. Compelling in spots mixed with cliche. The characters were difficult to like because 'psychosis'. It wants to be dark humor but it's mere exploitation. I did feel joy and anguish at times but briefly. Then someone would get bludgeoned for no good reason and take me out of it.
Three mics
Breax (Acting/Action): Dope. High production value, emotionally engaging.
Soundtrax: Basic. Appropriate, not memorable.
Lyrix (Writing): Basic. Compelling in spots mixed with cliche. The characters were difficult to like because 'psychosis'. It wants to be dark humor but it's mere exploitation. I did feel joy and anguish at times but briefly. Then someone would get bludgeoned for no good reason and take me out of it.
Three mics
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I'm going to make this spoiler free..well I'm going to attempt to
I like Luc Besson as a director, writer and a producer. There's this ballsiness that he has in spades and I love that in anyone who considers themselves a creative type. But this flick directed by Besson, written by Besson and a co writer, and produced by Besson and Martin Scorcese seems to be at odds with itself, not sure if it's a dark comedy, a family drama, or a serious mob flick and in the end it's just a tad meh. The performances are fine, De Niro doesn't seem bored for once, and everyone gives it there all but the tonal shifts in it are what bog it down for me. Scenes that appear to be going for laughs get really intense and violent, characters make decisions seemingly out of nowhere in the 2nd and 3rd act just to move the plot along, as if the characters said "I read the script, I know what I need to do here." It has moments of being funny, it's beautiful to look at, Tommy Lee Jones is good when he's on screen and he and De Niro have great chemistry, and I feel like there's a much better movie here underneath if Besson had a better handle on what he was trying to accomplish. And I may be the only one to feel this way, but the subplot with the kids in their high school was more interesting to me and seems like it would've been the better movie. It's also tough trying to root for characters who are seemingly unlikable sociopaths and this family is full of them. I give it 3 mics. Not bad, but not great...just a bucket of meh
I like Luc Besson as a director, writer and a producer. There's this ballsiness that he has in spades and I love that in anyone who considers themselves a creative type. But this flick directed by Besson, written by Besson and a co writer, and produced by Besson and Martin Scorcese seems to be at odds with itself, not sure if it's a dark comedy, a family drama, or a serious mob flick and in the end it's just a tad meh. The performances are fine, De Niro doesn't seem bored for once, and everyone gives it there all but the tonal shifts in it are what bog it down for me. Scenes that appear to be going for laughs get really intense and violent, characters make decisions seemingly out of nowhere in the 2nd and 3rd act just to move the plot along, as if the characters said "I read the script, I know what I need to do here." It has moments of being funny, it's beautiful to look at, Tommy Lee Jones is good when he's on screen and he and De Niro have great chemistry, and I feel like there's a much better movie here underneath if Besson had a better handle on what he was trying to accomplish. And I may be the only one to feel this way, but the subplot with the kids in their high school was more interesting to me and seems like it would've been the better movie. It's also tough trying to root for characters who are seemingly unlikable sociopaths and this family is full of them. I give it 3 mics. Not bad, but not great...just a bucket of meh
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Roaden Polynice
Superstar
haha, I see what I'm in store for now.
I just want to know if anyone is actually a fan of this movie. Who is a fan of this movie? There can’t be anyone who is a fan of this movie. The only people who I know who might actually enjoy this movie are perhaps those who enjoyed Mafia! way back when. I could actually give them a pass because Mafia! is a serviceable spoof. On the cusp of an era before spoofs were just “insert the name of a genre, sometimes not even a genre and attach movie at the end for a title.” That said, The Family somehow is worse than a spoof on mafia films. Worse than a spoof! From the early 2000's! How the fukk does that even happen? 
Add to that, that it's long and utterly fukking boring.
From the beginning scenes when Robert DeNiro is transporting a DEAD BODY with his family in the car and blaming the smell of the rotting and decomposing body on the dog not being washed was enough for me to be like "Ok here we go
"
I like how the majority of their motivations for anything any character did was just basically because of the mafia. This film was obviously created by a great group of adults who take their jobs seriously, have clearly studied their genre conventions and spend millions of dollars in really good ways, "So, why does Michelle Pfeiffer blow up an entire grocery store her first morning in a strange new city?" "Those italian women, they're fiery. Plus she's a mob boss's wife that's why. Now pass that speedball over here" *SNORTS*
"B-b-b-but, hold up I got it man. *SNORTS*
The son will be like a mini crime boss...but in high school b. Because he's grown up around mobsters and he's knows the ins and outs of an organized crime consortium 
"
"That's good screenwriting b gonna need bigger oscars after this one 
*SNORTS*"
"*SNORTS*"
And ffs can we talk about the egregious generalizations and stereotypes in this film? Ok, to be sure, there are stereotypes in a lot of mafia movies and even movies who have a degree of verisimilitude have spawned stereotypes but good lord is this lazy. Like we have Herc who literally says "Mama Mia" when confronted with a plate of Italian cooking because French cooking is so bad (sure). Or the effeminate and garrulous French plumber saying "Ohh lala" when looking at a set of rusty pipes. fukk this movie. I also liked how the French high school was like any American high school that we've seen countless times in films, but, y'know, just French. Granted I've never been to a French high school so far be it from me to judge but something rubbed me the wrong way about it.
And then there was the worst in the character of the daughter which I'm not entirely sure what they were trying to say. On her first day of school she is hounded by a pack of, of course, too forward French teenagers barking at her from a car. She reluctantly agrees to take a ride when they take her to the French Lover's Lane where she proceeds to essentially beat one of them with a squash racquet and steal their car after jumping into a tirade about women being the future of men and how women should not be relegated to objection and ridicule at the hands of males. So far, so Gloria Steinem, I'm sure.
At one point you feel like the film is laying the groundwork for a character who could be a strong yet sociopathic and intensely violent female, like Beyonce in her music videos with Camel. But then the rest of her character arc she is written in the complete context of men (along with carrying out gruesome violence towards other women). The dramatic stakes of her character involves her anxiety about losing her virginity to the right man because female virginity is a PRECIOUS FLOWER, then being devastated that she lost her virginity to a man who was indifferent to the experience which drives her to despondency and suicide?
And then she completely drops the suicide because suicide was never an issue I guess even though they tried to make it seem like it was her entire world with her really good fake crying, or I guess "acting" as they call it in the biz.
But then again it's not like this movie had any emotional investment for me whatsoever. What, I'm upset that Robert DeNiro won't get to finish his shyttily written memoirs because he has to move after directly or indirectly murdering an entire village? fukk that entire family.
And don't even get me started on the fukking newspaper being delivered to Don Luchese for fukks sake.
Add to that, that it's long and utterly fukking boring.From the beginning scenes when Robert DeNiro is transporting a DEAD BODY with his family in the car and blaming the smell of the rotting and decomposing body on the dog not being washed was enough for me to be like "Ok here we go
"I like how the majority of their motivations for anything any character did was just basically because of the mafia. This film was obviously created by a great group of adults who take their jobs seriously, have clearly studied their genre conventions and spend millions of dollars in really good ways, "So, why does Michelle Pfeiffer blow up an entire grocery store her first morning in a strange new city?" "Those italian women, they're fiery. Plus she's a mob boss's wife that's why. Now pass that speedball over here" *SNORTS*
"B-b-b-but, hold up I got it man. *SNORTS*
The son will be like a mini crime boss...but in high school b. Because he's grown up around mobsters and he's knows the ins and outs of an organized crime consortium ""That's good screenwriting b
gonna need bigger oscars after this one *SNORTS*""*SNORTS*"
And ffs can we talk about the egregious generalizations and stereotypes in this film? Ok, to be sure, there are stereotypes in a lot of mafia movies and even movies who have a degree of verisimilitude have spawned stereotypes but good lord is this lazy. Like we have Herc who literally says "Mama Mia" when confronted with a plate of Italian cooking because French cooking is so bad (sure). Or the effeminate and garrulous French plumber saying "Ohh lala" when looking at a set of rusty pipes. fukk this movie. I also liked how the French high school was like any American high school that we've seen countless times in films, but, y'know, just French. Granted I've never been to a French high school so far be it from me to judge but something rubbed me the wrong way about it.
And then there was the worst in the character of the daughter which I'm not entirely sure what they were trying to say. On her first day of school she is hounded by a pack of, of course, too forward French teenagers barking at her from a car. She reluctantly agrees to take a ride when they take her to the French Lover's Lane where she proceeds to essentially beat one of them with a squash racquet and steal their car after jumping into a tirade about women being the future of men and how women should not be relegated to objection and ridicule at the hands of males. So far, so Gloria Steinem, I'm sure.
At one point you feel like the film is laying the groundwork for a character who could be a strong yet sociopathic and intensely violent female, like Beyonce in her music videos with Camel. But then the rest of her character arc she is written in the complete context of men (along with carrying out gruesome violence towards other women). The dramatic stakes of her character involves her anxiety about losing her virginity to the right man because female virginity is a PRECIOUS FLOWER, then being devastated that she lost her virginity to a man who was indifferent to the experience which drives her to despondency and suicide?
And then she completely drops the suicide because suicide was never an issue I guess even though they tried to make it seem like it was her entire world with her really good fake crying, or I guess "acting" as they call it in the biz.
But then again it's not like this movie had any emotional investment for me whatsoever. What, I'm upset that Robert DeNiro won't get to finish his shyttily written memoirs because he has to move after directly or indirectly murdering an entire village? fukk that entire family.
And don't even get me started on the fukking newspaper being delivered to Don Luchese for fukks sake.
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Ok, The Family was OBVIOUSLY a paycheck for De Niro...that mothafukka was sleepwalking through this movie and Michelle had that "
look but also the 
"But I need the money" look...shyt was ridiculous 
...not the worst I've seen, but still pretty fukking useless
look but also the "But I need the money" look...shyt was ridiculous ...not the worst I've seen, but still pretty fukking useless
R.E.N. Spells Ren
Veteran
nikkas really writing long ass paragraphs about this shyt?
Saw this a while back. Forgettable flick.
Saw this a while back. Forgettable flick.