Except for a few things, there is no big difference between "Paz" and the person behind the screenname. managed to calm down online and in real life. A lot better than how I was 10 years ago. Can relate to a lot of what a lot of people on here who are feeling lonely, shy, angry, frustrated, antisocial, want to take out their misery, grief, insecurities on other people, not fitting in and etc. Not gonna say that it gets better because still going through it but after awhile, it's like I guess time basically made me learn how to manage to the point where I have become patient and growing more content with my flaws and etc. Just keep your head up and hang in there. You will find ways to channel your grief and plus everything that doesn't make sense now or isn't falling through for you now will fall through later. Keep living, keep tryingand be patient. DO NOT GIVE UP. TELL THAT TO YOURSELF. YOU WILL NOT GIVE UP ON LIFE. YOU ARE HERE FOR A PURPOSE. YOU WANT TO LIVE BECAUSE YOU LOVE YOUR LIFE REGARDLESS OF WHAT PAINS, STRUGGLES AND ILLS LIFE HAS GIVEN YOU. Your bad days, bad moments, fukk ups and etc do not define you.
Also keep a journal and write in that shyt EVERYDAY. There's some site called 750 words which you can register too which you can just air yourself out. Get it all out your system. Work out. Eat some junk food. Sleep late and get up early to see the night turn into day to get yourself wanting to do something.
Okay I've said enough. I'm no motivation speaker and can't really stand hearing that shyt from certain people who never been in that place. It used to annoy me when i would see someone like Greg plitt Rip who would talk this motivation shyt but you can tell he never been one of those guys who used to be a nerd or never fit in so I was like

you can't relate but yet you're trying to encourage people who obviously never had the privilege to be in your position. I can better respect from someone who was a geek or an outcast and still is one and isn't striving to be accepted where they want to have other people's approval. they just got tired and said fukk the world, I am who i am and nothing is wrong me so love me or leave me alone. That's respectable.