If you're a victim of passive-aggression, there are a few basic coping strategies. For starters, remember that you're not nuts. If you see a pattern it's probably real. So respond — and know that it's OK to draw sharp boundaries. The chronically late dinner guest can be invited once more on the proviso that the start time of the evening is honored. After that? It's Chipotle for you, bub.
And what if you're the passive aggressor? Well, the knock-it-off suggestion is a good place to start. That's not always easy, and it can take work and even the help of a good therapist to determine why directness is so hard for you. It's a lot better than indirectness, however—and it's a whole lot less work.