I have two companies in a bidding war over me. LMAO.
Thing is it's not about the money to me. It's about stability and being able to develop professionally, whichever job offers me the best balance of both gets me.
My life is just like it was when my soccer career took off. I fukked that up being hella arrogant and having no foresight. This time I'm going to make the best decision for myself. After failing I promised myself I'd be back at the top in 3 years and I would not fukk it up the second time around. I got back to the top in 2.5 years and I'm moving maturely.
Intention setting folks, commit to that shyt.
Only one person knows how hard I worked to be here. I'm blessed to be alive and have these opportunities. I was raised around killers I'm just happy to be here.
I am excited to teach my kids how to handle these situations. Nobody told me anything. I had to fail to learn. shyt almost killed me. I almost killed myself. I think it about it less, but I still think about it.
I sacrificed everything to be here and I can't help but realize I am alone. The old me would be upset, the new me doesn't care. I'm not surrounding myself with fake ass people just to have people around again.
No one to watch my back means no one to cut my throat.
I plan to tell my kids I'm proud of them every time I see them. I'm proud of them right now and I don't have any, lol. They will hear my praises so much they will get tired of it.
Am I the only person who gets borderline suicidal after accomplishing something? I have to win, but I hate winning because I realize I'm alone as fukk and nobody is proud of me other than me. I'm not saying I do it for the glory but it'd be nice to share my accomplishments with someone one day.
I should be happy, but I want to cry and bury myself alive. When I die I won't know anyone. That's hella sad to me.