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Pazzy

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What age did you know you were same sex attracted?

Realized that I was gay when I was 12 but had same sex attractions started happening when I was like 6 or 7.
when I realized when I was gay at 12, I immediately upon realizing it at that very moment went into deep denial and tried to mentally block my past up onto that present moment on some "I am not gay. I hate gay people. Gay people are disgusting" and the whole nine. The reason behind that was because I was around a lot of homophobia and even worse this was around the very same time of Mathew shepard murder and a few other murders of gay men that was all over the news. Having been bullied already at an early age to the point where I knew that I probably would have got beat up or a lot worse, I butched it up and did everything to hide it. I did that for 12 years. :snoop: and the funny part is I never went on a date with a female or had sex with one. I did so much work hiding it or convincing myself that I wasnt gay and was secretly heterosexual that I made myself seem like i was gay. It was like I was exposing myself because I knew that my lack of attraction for the opposite sex would have been apparent if I did try to go out with a woman. Luckily, the whole socially awkward guy, angry bitter guy thing helped cover it up. Lol. Anyone that paid attention though already would have known that I was gay without me saying it even when i was acting like i was straight. :snoop: I wasted a lot of years and all of that from fear and when I came out at 24, 25 and etc, no one gave a fukk.
 
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Aphrodite

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Realized that I was gay when I was 12 but had same sex attractions started happening when I was like 6 or 7.
when I realized when I was gay at 12, I immediately upon realizing it at that very moment went into deep denial and tried to mentally block my past up onto that present moment on some "I am not gay. I hate gay people. Gay people are disgusting" and the whole nine. The reason behind that was because I was around a lot of homophobia and even worse this was around the very same time of Mathew shepard murder and a few other murders of gay men that was all over the news. Having been bullied already at an early age to the point where I knew that I probably would have got beat up or a lot worse, I butched it up and did everything to hide it. I did that for 12 years. :snoop: and the funny part is I never went on a date with a female or had sex with one. It was like I was exposing myself because I knew that my lack of attraction for the opposite sex would have been apparent if I did try to go out with a woman. Luckily, the whole socially awkward guy, angry bitter guy thing helped cover it up. Lol. Anyone that paid attention though already knew I was gay without me saying it even when i was acting like i was straight. :snoop:
The crazy part is this is pretty common.
How did your family react? (do they know?)
 
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SuperGrizzy

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Realized that I was gay when I was 12 but had same sex attractions started happening when I was like 6 or 7.
when I realized when I was gay at 12, I immediately upon realizing it at that very moment went into deep denial and tried to mentally block my past up onto that present moment on some "I am not gay. I hate gay people. Gay people are disgusting" and the whole nine. The reason behind that was because I was around a lot of homophobia and even worse this was around the very same time of Mathew shepard murder and a few other murders of gay men that was all over the news. Having been bullied already at an early age to the point where I knew that I probably would have got beat up or a lot worse, I butched it up and did everything to hide it. I did that for 12 years. :snoop: and the funny part is I never went on a date with a female or had sex with one. It was like I was exposing myself because I knew that my lack of attraction for the opposite sex would have been apparent if I did try to go out with a woman. Luckily, the whole socially awkward guy, angry bitter guy thing helped cover it up. Lol. Anyone that paid attention though already knew I was gay without me saying it even when i was acting like i was straight. :snoop:

:salute: Paz, even though you're not from Harlem I respect you.
 

BigMan

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Found my notebook I wrote this shyt when I was 16-17. . Random so Ill post it here.

I was never a rapper but I just wrote shyt down with somethings that rhyme i was just lettin shyt out some of it corny as fukk tho but dark as fukk and I got horrible handwriting:whoa:

dOqUHUC.jpg




5RwFfKu.jpg



I grew up way too fast lookin back:damn:


edit says "fukk five at the last one
when i was in high school my mom found my notepad and as punishment drove erratically at high speeds in order to frighten/hurt me
 

Pazzy

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The crazy part is this is pretty common.
How did your family react? (do they know?)

They didn't care although my mom was disappointed because she knew she wasn't going to have any grandkids from me. She eventually got over it a short time later and everything was the same. This was back in like around late September, October 2012.
 
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Aphrodite

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They didn't care although my mom was disappointed because she knew she wasn't going to have any grandkids from me. She eventually got over it a short time later and everything was the same. This was back in like 2012 though.
Awww
What type of guys do you like?
 
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