Essential The Locker Room's Random Thoughts

[Turbulent]

Just because you don't play games, doesn't mean you shouldn't peep game...

and that's game...

 

[315]

Need this rain to come through

 

[Brandsdale]

Here this right. Apparently im comfortable with you guys enough to open up some of "my heart" to you guys BUT i have a hard time doing that in real life from being so guarded. Honestly, im really weary of letting new people or people into my life and very guarded with people getting close to me regardless. Im tired of opening up to people only to be hurt or rejected. It weirds me out in real life when people actually like me. dead serious. Im used to receiving hate and know what it is to have someone hate me or to have people hate me. I wish for those who actually like me to let me know though. Dont want to admit it but being appreciated does matter to me. I try to be nice even though I am far from the most friendliest guy. Thats why I count myself out when it comes to shyt like dating. Im comfortable being single and alone. The idea of a relationship makes me feel mixed emotions but i feel that being in one with someone who wants to be in one with me thats actually willing to put in the damn energy where i can be challenged as well as me challenging someone else in order to grow. I guess im frustrated that im single and dont want to be. At the same time, i dont want to be with just anybody and want them to understand me for real

I feel like theres nobody out there that understands me on some fukking unique shyt because i cant seem to find anybody who has figured me out yet. thats the truth. The right person will pull my card if Im lying. The right person would pull up on me and call me out on this post but nobody that knows me personally knows im on the coli. i kind of wish i was exposed but the people in offline in real life dont check for me like that.

I usually delete my posts on some paranoia shyt but i think ill leave this shyt up since i know nobody i know is going to read this shyt.

try talking to a therapist/counsellor

this website only gonna make you feel worse tbh

 

[Pazzy]

try talking to a therapist/counsellor

this website only gonna make you feel worse tbh

Thats very true. My mom was even telling me this morning about going back to therapy but i think i need a different type of therapist or a psychiatrist for this long time ongoing problem. But truth be told, this is the story of my life from birth to now. having to be in and out of therapy to fix my brain even as a toddler to "be normal". Obviously my self esteem been shot up decades ago and still hasnt recovered. I dont even like to be around other people because i dont want them to know that something isnt right with me. Im not crazy but im not well either.

 

[Brandsdale]

Thats very true. My mom was even telling me this morning about going back to therapy but i think i need a different type of therapist or a psychiatrist for this problem. But truth be told, this is the story of my life. having to be in and out of therapy to fix my brain even as a toddler. Its embarrassing.

not embarrassing at all tbh.

plenty of people experience it at some point in life. Some of my friends even had anger management and what not back from when they were kids.

I'm 33 and I ain't step foot into therapy until my mom advised me to a few years back. Never too late to start something, especially if you making progress

edit: also don't be fooled, there's A LOT of mfs that are battling some mental health issues as well. Some people just know how to hide it better than others

 

[Pazzy]

not embarrassing at all tbh.

plenty of people experience it at some point in life. Some of my friends even had anger management and what not back from when they were kids.

I'm 33 and I ain't step foot into therapy until my mom advised me to a few years back. Never too late to start something, especially if you making progress

edit: also don't be fooled, there's A LOT of mfs that are battling some mental health issues as well. Some people just know how to hide it better than others

Thanks for being supportive. You know something. I dont know how to not beat up on myself or to i guess "love myself" without seeing myself in a negative way where Im "good enough" or deserving good things where i wont even mention my accomplishments on some shame shyt. Like ive believed the negative shyt that bullies and antagonists from a child and havent been able to overcome that yet even to this day 30 past years later. Basically fighting self loathing.

Im saying that to say. Which mental health practictioners specialize in healing self esteem from past trauma?

 

[Peter Popoff]

I hate my job sooooo much. It's incredibly stressful and I'm internally screaming.

Literally had a break down and I work remote. They just compile so much shıt and meetings. Got mafụckers working from 9am to 11pm and shıt (I don't).

Got 2 Project managers, 3 leads, a dozen CDT managers and a 450 lb linebacker built Karen that's my only back up and constantly down my neck.

I get why people just rage quit without having a 2nd plan or live off savings. It's so many nuances, I can't even breakdown why I hate it.

It pays the bills....but at what cost? For this amount of stress, I should be making somewhere close to mid 6 figures.

If I wasn't married, I'd quit, live in a cheap affordable place, work as a barista, fast food cashier and Uber eats driver for less stress.

Rant over.

 

[Brandsdale]

Thanks for being supportive. You know something. I dont know how to not beat up on myself or to i guess "love myself" without seeing myself in a negative way where Im "good enough" or deserving good things where i wont even mention my accomplishments on some shame shyt. Like ive believed the negative shyt that bullies and antagonists from a child and havent been able to overcome that yet even to this day 30 past years later. Basically fighting self loathing.

Im saying that to say. Which mental health practictioners specialize in healing self esteem from past trauma?

Anytime breh

self esteem is one of the biggest reasons folks do therapy too tbh- Self-Esteem Self-Help Resources - Information Sheets & Workbooks

try working on the workbooks and worksheets that are in the link above. You can also ask any therapist to make self-esteem your focus of your sessions as well

 

[peppe]

I have always walked a straight path. Never did anything out of the ordinary but I'm thinking of adding a little fukkery to my life

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

I hate other peoples kids. But I especially hate white kids

 

[Pazzy]

 

[FeloniousMonk]

I think our existence on earth is just a game for a bigger entity's enjoyment
.

 

[Pazzy]

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

my coworker died yesterday. life is not promised. you can go at any time and all you've done is pay bills and try to set up the kids but you don't get a warning when it's time. her daughter is getting married at the end of the month. i don't know if her family depended on her income either. i hope she had life insurance. i hope they don't get slippery when it's time to pay.

i can't imagine how the daughter is about to walk up the aisle in weeks. but in the midst of all that it occured to me that someone is probably already scheming on her job. life just goes on.

 

[richaveli83]

I ate Pizza Hut for the first time in over five years. Now I understand why it's been so long.