The things I've seen, heard, and smelled. the former Life of an installer...

[thesandman]

So I've seen some crazy shyt during my times in folks homes. I would be one of many guys that would install networks, computers, servers, home theater, and other consumer electronics.

I'll start from the beginning...

My first day, my first job. I was nervous AF but excited. My partner...a vet in the game gave me The dos and donts off top. Which was essentially follow his lead and use common sense... Respect their homes, etc.

The first client was an older Chinese chick who was open about everything... Including her failed marriage.

I'm showing her the in and outs of her new stuff including a new computer and she goes... in extremely broken English. "Where i fine the...uuh... The X!?"





Que Que??

She asks again but even hyper..."the X!?..."

UM...



"the X, X!?"




This woman was asking me how to find porn!!!?

Oh hell naw I'm not finna get fired on my first day

I just kept hitting her with the

But she just kept on..

I was like... miss... Just use Google...To search for whatever you're looking for but i can't help you...


Shorty dead ass hit me with the... "I'm looking for the good shyt, with the big ones!"



She was trying to get her life i guess...

My partner for some reason leaves the room...wtf!!!? Was this a test!?!?!?!

Nugga leaves me with this horny old ass heffer who starts to just go in on her husband who wasn't home at the time btw...

"The only reason why he marry, cause he want green card..."


Uuuh ok.


* Feeling awkward af... She staring at me...*


Me: Dang miss that's unfortunate..


... What a sucka


She just continues to blurt just straight slander on my man like

"He can't do me anymore because he has the diabete..."

"Can't keep it up..."


I can't front i was holding back laughter at this point... She's walking around the room just taking trash about replacing dude. Her dildo... Seriously i was dumbfounded. She somehow try to slide me her personal number talking about she'd give me a discount on some liquor since she owned a store...sheeeeit...

After the job was done my partner who was silently observing the whole time looks at me and bursts out in a big ol drunk uncle at a family reunion type laugh...

I'm dying too but the message was clear... Welcome to the world of install...

More stories of foul fukkery to come!!!

 

[Bob Loblaw]

 

[thesandman]

I'm telling you... You have no idea how open people will be... here's a snippet to a story...

I swear on everything a chick answers the door like this...


"I'm sorry it took too long....i just took a shower... My mom just died i have skin cancer...."


Wtf!?!?!? And so began the absolute worst experience in my life...

 

[thesandman]

Hoarders: The story of beans and cats.


So this young lady has rescheduled her appointment several times and when i tried to call her it went to voicemail. In my mind I'm thinking this ain't happening today...

Imagine thinking you're about to get off of work early only for your boss to blow your life with not only a crazy time consuming task but something that shakes you to your soul...

Well in a way that's exactly what happened here..

I get to this chicks house and i swear on a bible and four white people

There was at least seven stray cats outside her door eating from multiple trays of food that was just all over the place looking like The damn Carter for cats... My partner looks at me in disbelief.

I knock on the door and this chick with obvious aspergers answers. Aye no problem, it was the home behind her that had me like ...

The hoarder house from hell! I'm scoping the living room and there's only a small path to walk through the piles of clothes, toys, cat food, trash and boxes of diapers. Right off the back she's apologizing... Cause she know damn well there's no room for us to deliver this shyt.

She says to deliver the stuff which includes a fukking tv stand in the upstairs bedroom!? Wtf!? So i had to tiptoe around this filth to get this booger eating chick out my face. The place smells of straight cat piss, human shmells of b.o.,And shame! I look at her TV and stuff in the living room and notice it's wrecked with cat urine and other nasty shyt that no one could pay enough to touch....


Now don't get me wrong we can leave if it's too bad but apparently the bedroom was clean because she had a team clean up... Maybe she'll be on the show??

To be continued...

 

[MoonGoddess]

 

[Silkk]

Maaaaaaan, i only lasted bout 2 months doing this shyt before i threw in the towel

 

[shutterguy]

I did car and home audio install for a few years, the stuff you would see in people cars (half eaten food under the seats, half their belongings shoved in the trunk, etc.) and you gotta crawl around and run wiring and cables. Home audio was cool, setup the surround sound and get PAID, some would offer dinner and stay for a movie.

 

[thesandman]

I did car and home audio install for a few years, the stuff you would see in people cars (half eaten food under the seats, half their belongings shoved in the trunk, etc.) and you gotta crawl around and run wiring and cables. Home audio was cool, setup the surround sound and get PAID, some would offer dinner and stay for a movie.

Lol i got mad stories about dinner and chicks trying to give a young nikka some cutty

 

[LEEeveryday]

 

[Keep_It_Hip_Hop_Fam]

In on classic thread

More stories

 

[thesandman]

Hoarders: beans and cats... Part two


When we last left off a young installer/barbarian/boss player the sandman was literally knee deep in some shyt.


Welcome back to the life of a former installer...




So we get the stuff in the bedroom and there is not much room to work with considering the hallway is filled with junk.... Including stacked up cans of beans... And bruh I'm not taking about boxes of cans of beans but rather a tiny city of cans of beans... It's as if this chick was filming a commercial for toys when they used have the little sets for like the ninja turtles and shyt.

I say, you know what I'll give her the benefit of the doubt... She's getting help.. Who am i to judge???

The job is nearly complete and...
By this time i had to drain the main vein. i really didn't want to in this house because i was afraid of the horrors that may lie in the bathroom. I just reconciled that it'll be just one more L that I'd have to take.


I ask to use the restroom kinda of hoping this chick who i know i recognized looks like

Would say no if the joint was in disarray... But she smiled all bright and replied sure...

I open the door and the smell hits me immediately...

The room smelled like a mix of burnt bird nests and A full court game of basketball.

It wasn't even just a smell it was aroma... It was evil....
Next i saw the....



I saw the toilet....

Holy Jesus holy Jesus...i didn't even have to urinate anymore...

I turn to leave and look at the sink...

Not a tooth brush but a million razors and all dirty and rusty looking.


I go back to the bedroom to finish up and demo the system... But i was visibly shaken. I looked at my partner...and he saw staring back at him a thousand yard stare. I had now seen it all... or at least i thought that day. My partner was like yo where's the bathroom....


No!


No.....i whisper no... Don't go in there... It's evil man...


He just cracks up the b*stard.


To be continued....

 

[Paradise]

 

[patscorpio]

i gotta say one of the few enjoyable/not enjoyable things i did in the early days of doing IT and paying dues was cleaning out computers. You can learn so much about an individual on them. for better or for worse

 

[str8up]

Your partner seem like he going to do some shyt before long

 

[Kobes Two Jerseys]

I did cable for a few months and hot diggity damn. If you think Mexicans shack up in one house, you have no clue about the fukking Asians. I walked into one house, there was at least 8 people there. Mostly older women and kids. In the kitchen, was a stack of about 6 50lb bags of rice. Probably about 6 cars in the driveway. Every Asian home I went to had no less than 4 adults.