The Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single

[JT-Money]

The Coli is something else man. I'm wondering where the hell you guys go to not run into qualified black women who are super thirsty for a man. They're EVERYWHERE.

I lived in Iowa for 3 years and while I wasn't doing my Atlanta numbers, I was still surviving.

No place has more black women like this than in Atlanta. But a lot of these chicks once they hit 30 are looking for a husband by any means necessary.

 

[SmarkMero]

Can't say the whole list is agreeable but 7 and 11 resonate with me. And I can be guilty of #12.



The Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single
by: Eric StevensOct 27, 2011
[ A+ ] /[ A- ]
Television, radio, and the Internet have been buzzing nonstop for years about the plight of single, black women looking for love, but what about all the single, black men? Nobody's been bold enough to take a stand and speak out on behalf of all the good, single black men out there looking for love too. However, now, that's all changed. The Victory Unlimited Show (www.victoryunlimitedshow.com) attacks this issue with the kind of guts, gusto, humor, and controversy that's rarely heard in the mainstream media.

Based on feedback from the show's fan base, the most recent broadcast entitled "The Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single" put forth the following list as the reasons why so many good black men are still unhappily single:

1. They keep meeting women with unrealistic expectations for what they want in a man.
2. They keep meeting women who put them in the wrong category by writing them off too quickly as not being "their type".
3. They're not wanted because they're not needed. Too many women have told them that they don't "need" a man.
4. They keep meeting black women who don't respect them just because they "are" black men.
5. They keep failing women's Girlfriend Approval Test. If the woman's friends don't like them, then that woman won't give them a chance either.
6. They keep meeting women who are not interested in them, but only in how much money they make.
7. They're nobody until somebody else loves them. Not enough women see them as a prize unless they see a lot of other women chasing after them first.
8. They meet too many women who don't really know what they want.
9. They meet too many women who believe that single, good black men are "too good to be true".
10. They're the right man at the wrong time.
11. They meet too many women who don't recognize a good man when they see one.
12. They don't promote all the great things about themselves boldly or consistently enough to enough women.
-Blacknews.com



- See more at: http://www.afro.com/the-top-twelve-...ck-men-are-still-single/#sthash.tC1Acold.dpuf

 

[Ohene]

This list sound like some shyt a sucker nikka would write. If you can't get girls its a you problem. Same way if a chick can't get a dude to settle down with her its a her problem. All these dumbass list FOH with that shifting blame elsewhere stuff.

most of the problem has to do with where brothers look and females too.

if youre a regular nikka, dont go to the club looking for a hoochie to settle down with. Take your as the the library, mall or some shyt and get it how you live with a humble shorty.

 

[Ohene]

If a black woman made this exact post about dating other races and actually acted on it in real life and proudly made this post on here while never having dated someone in her own race and receiving multiple STDS and abortions for the supposed other (better) options she's leaving for....

Wonder if she would get any backlash...

this dude came outta hibernation

 

[philmonroe]

most of the problem has to do with where brothers look and females too.

if youre a regular nikka, dont go to the club looking for a hoochie to settle down with. Take your as the the library, mall or some shyt and get it how you live with a humble shorty.

That sounds good in theory but most dudes ain't talking to no chick outside them club type environments where they know its safe to do so.

 

[Ohene]

That sounds good in theory but most dudes ain't talking to no chick outside them club type environments where they know its safe to do so.

its a shame.

for me its the opposite...in my school days i'd bring the odd chick back to the crib but I've had much more success just sparking conversations with random girls in public situations when there isnt loud music, darkness and smelly/creepy bystanders around. On top of that, if approached in a gentleman-like way most girls are much more likely to trust a dude they meet in an everyday situation than the club where most guys (myself) included just wanna smash.

i be telling nikkas all the time, just open your mouth and blurt something to a shorty in public. anything. but they too scared to do it

 

[Ohene]

Me and my boy in college were at a hookah bar with about 6 female friends.
All of them black, college degreed some in graduate school, majority grew up in a 2 parent household.

My older sister was talking to this black man who was 32 no kids, bmw 6 series, owned a 2 story house, and had a career in real estate. She said something was wrong with him.(She hadn't even met the guy yet)

I explain this mans exact stats to our female friends.
And guess what they all said?

"Somethings wrong with him"
"He's gay"
"He's on the down low"
"He's a liar or he's hiding something"
"Ain't no black man have all that without a black woman being involved"

Me and my boy:
Me: "what if he was white or Hispanic?"
Them: "oh that would be normal then..
Me and my boy:

I'm not giving up on black women but damn I can't have my shyt together without you thinking something is wrong with me?
I can't just want to be single?

i went through this just yesterday.

i was talking to this shorty from my alma mater and at one point she called me mr. smooth talker for like the third time since I've met her. The devil on my left shoulder is like for obvious reasons and the angel on my right is like because I associate smooth talker with being a player which I really aint. I said something along the lines of how she's ms. skepticism. Yadda yadda she was talking about how we met / somehow came into contact after not seeing eachother for so long and how it seemed too good to be true cause I'm handsome, educated, ambitious and have a good personality. First thing I thought about was this thread

Like damn, why cant we just be compatible with one another . She basically alluded that she was trying to find something wrong with me and eventually in the convo I just had to say, "I'm a regular nikka. I like my hip hop, my football and basketball, my shoes/clothing, my women like everyone else. It's just that I happen to be hardworking, honest, and a little bit nerdy at the same time."

Dealing with these girls man

 

[philmonroe]

its a shame.

for me its the opposite...in my school days i'd bring the odd chick back to the crib but I've had much more success just sparking conversations with random girls in public situations when there isnt loud music, darkness and smelly/creepy bystanders around. On top of that, if approached in a gentleman-like way most girls are much more likely to trust a dude they meet in an everyday situation than the club where most guys (myself) included just wanna smash.

i be telling nikkas all the time, just open your mouth and blurt something to a shorty in public. anything. but they too scared to do it

Regarding bold its the same whether its the club or regular stuff. If you trying to talk to a chick you trying to smash and both sides know it. shyt you ain't meeting no chick in the soda isle talking about her personality is just so sweet I wanna know more lol.

I agree dudes should open their mouths but they first need to take care of,themselves and eliminate what has them feeling unsure of themselves first because truth is most dudes aren't shy, scarred, etc they just don't think they have much to offer the chick. Same dude in most cases if,they aren't just socially awkward give that dude an up to date regular car, apt, decent body, a job and a little money to date dudes will be changed men most times ime

 

[Ohene]

Regarding bold its the same whether its the club or regular stuff. If you trying to talk to a chick you trying to smash and both sides know it. shyt you ain't meeting no chick in the soda isle talking about her personality is just so sweet I wanna know more lol.

I agree dudes should open their mouths but they first need to take care of,themselves and eliminate what has them feeling unsure of themselves first because truth is most dudes aren't shy, scarred, etc they just don't think they have much to offer the chick. Same dude in most cases if,they aren't just socially awkward give that dude an up to date regular car, apt, decent body, a job and a little money to date dudes will be changed men most times ime

lol word Which is why i get irked sometimes when girls mention that as a problem. I mean, attraction is usually going to be the initial draw between two people which obviously means sex would be on the table as well. But girls act like thats a problem. You go off attraction and then see if the personality is good enough.

I agree though...gotta get to that point of being confident enough to not give a shyt about the outcome. At that point if you get rejected you know based on what you can offer that its their loss anyways.

 

[MikelArteta]

Commitment is the male vagina for men of value

Most men don't want relationships.

We want to fukk, be fed and for her to shut the fukk up.

Problem is most simps are too afraid to articulate those things.

In-demand nikkas don't have to use a relationship to get their needs met.

In-demand Black men literally have a roster of women willing to meet our needs at the drop of a hat.

fukk we look like giving our commitment to one woman when we can enjoy the fruits of many?

Black women frown upon the idea of polygamy, but many of them are willingly engaging in a de facto form of it when it comes to the men they pursue.

 

[philmonroe]

lol word Which is why i get irked sometimes when girls mention that as a problem. I mean, attraction is usually going to be the initial draw between two people which obviously means sex would be on the table as well. But girls act like thats a problem. You go off attraction and then see if the personality is good enough.

I agree though...gotta get to that point of being confident enough to not give a shyt about the outcome. At that point if you get rejected you know based on what you can offer that its their loss anyways.

Girls don't get irked unless its somebody they aren't attracted to. We both know that because honestly its no different for us when a chick we aren't attracted to comes up. The rest of the first paragraph I agree with.

As far as the second paragraph I think that's why there are so many threads on here about why girls going for this that and the other type of dude. They don't have what the chicks they want want and start sounding like a newborn nursery trying to change nature. Dating is a kill or be killed type deal simple and plain. People don't want to play by the rules which is fukked up at times but its so many playing by them a few disgruntled cats ain't going to stop nothing and cats better recognize that or be left behind.

 

[SirReginald]

I can tell you why I'm single and I'm Black. Because I'm focused on getting a good job first. Plus, I have to work on myself and love myself first. In order for someone to love you, you have to show love for yourself. If you don't no one else is gonna love you. Also, the right woman may not have came along yet. I'd rather wait and work on myself rather than rush. That's why, so many of us good Black men are single.

 

[old_timer]

Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single

the real reasons (as i see them):
-mental health, depression, social anxieties, autism, etc.
-lack of awareness on positive/upsides of being in a long term relationship
-inexperience, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, lack of poise

possible solutions:
-seek treatment (as relevant), and don't stigmatize other people who are seeking treatment
-seek out positive examples, and as applicable offer your own relationship as an example to others
-find confidence and meaning in certain areas of your life, this builds momentum across all phases of life

(there's a few exceptions, like some people are built to fly solo, but the above covers 95% of it)

 

[Ghost_In_A_Shell]

Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single

the real reasons (as i see them):
-mental health, depression, social anxieties, autism, etc.
-lack of awareness on positive/upsides of being in a long term relationship
-inexperience, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, lack of poise

possible solutions:
-seek treatment (as relevant), and don't stigmatize other people who are seeking treatment
-seek out positive examples, and as applicable offer your own relationship as an example to others
-find confidence and meaning in certain areas of your life, this builds momentum across all phases of life

(there's a few exceptions, like some people are built to fly solo, but the above covers 95% of it)

 

[iamduval]

Once again, it's all our fault

The first step is acceptance