Things you've done that has guarenteed you a spot in hell

[DonkeyPuncher718]

Forgive me Coli for I have sinned its been 30 years since my last confession

I grew up in brooklyn so ill just start with that

Crown Heights Edition

At 8 me and my 2 older brothers while living with my grandma in crown heights on Kingston avenue(A neighborhood full of west indians and hasidic Jews)we would throw Ice at Jews on Saturdays from the window while yellin Heil Hitler

Brownsville Edition

Growing up I was studying to be a Jehovahs witness there was a lady Ms March who taught me my lessons I had to be around 11 and one sunday at th echurch I oened her bible and saw ten dollars I ws going to steal it while in church but my older brother stopped me

One Sunday before going to church Ms March gave me 2 dollars to buy some stockings around 10 I take the money head to the arcade on Mother Gaston and spent the entire day playing Street Fighter 2(I was really good back then that shyt literally lasted all fukking day)when I got home Ms March was waiting with my Moms at my house and when they asked me what happened I said I lost the money then proceeded to get one of the most legendary ass-whippings of my life

When I was 12 I went I crashed some 10 year old bday party i didnt know asked him if I could get a ride on his 5 speed and then stole his bike on his bday:bday:

Karma got me back for that one caus eI aint have the bike for a week before a guy on my block asked me for a ride to the store I knew this guy but didnt really know himand he then steals the bike from me My mom beat my ass with and Extension cord (yes Metal Prongs and all)and I got Jumped by some kids in the park that same week on some mistaken identity shyt and thats when I learned aout how Karma works I stopped stealing from people and would only steal from stores

I got more but im at work and im about to take lunch ill be back

 

[Nemesis]

I'm interested in the full story of these (especially with the sisters).

There was this hoodrat that was a sales assistant In a friends store that I was fukking now and then.....anyway I was at a local New years eve party with my friend Elvis and she was there with her half sister (i think it was same dad different mom) so Im posting up with this girl and Elvis is with her sister, everything is good until Elvis sees his ex girl and the next thing hes gone off with her....

about 5 am I tell them Im going and that I can give them a lift home, when we were in my car I said Im stopping off home first, we get to my house and Im fukking my jumpoff in the bedroom and her sister is in the front room waiting, the chick then knocks on the door asking how long we gonna be, I tell her to come in .....she walks in and i said "your sister cant handle the dikk do you wanna help out"...her sister actually moved over on the bed to make space ......lol even now while im typing this im laughing, spent the next hour taking terms fukkin them....

They didnt mess about with each other or anything like that though

 

[Heelish]

-My parents were preparing for a family reunion & I put little black ants in the salad
-Took a shyt on the bathroom floor of my church because I didn't wanna be there
-Found a butterfly outside my aunt's apartment that couldn't fly & put it in a jar. When my dad came to pick me up he wouldn't let me keep it. My cousin wanted it so I killed it just because I couldn't have it
-Selling a shirt I used as a cumrag on eBay, edited the visible stains out on iPhoto
-My shyt was so huge that it wouldn't flush so I used my sister's comb to chop it in half. Put soap on it, ran it under the water, & put it back
-Got head in a church parking lot

There's more but that's off the top. Haven't done anything demonic in years though

 

[-G$-]

• I ripped off the "do not remove" tags on my mattresses.

 

[Nemesis]

The second story is kind of messed up, I was running a club and on a sunday we had 2 promoters that were running the night, one was a woman...really really cool , she was engaged and It was strictly business, I never stepped to her in anyway, a couple of times her fiance came by to give them a hand....I got to know him a bit and he was some kind of youth councillor but apparently he had done 8 years in jail and was a bit of an OG that had turned his life around....

One saturday she had booked the vip for a friend of hers birthday, it wasnt her night to work so she was in the vip with her friends, i was behind the bar talking with the bar manager when she came over and asked me to dance with her....i couldnt even dance properly cause it felt weird and my mind is thinking "what the fukk does this mean?" "why did she ask me for a dance"....anyway i felt a bit shook and told her I had to check something in the office and Ill see her later..... couple of hours later she asks if she can talk to me in the office, when we were in the office she said "the first time i saw you i told my friend if i wasnt engaged you would be my man"....

I had a girlfriend at the time that she had met.....we arranged to meet up the next day and I was so shook of getting caught that I damn near took her to a hotel 50 miles away...

it was truly fukked up i cant even lie.....she actually told me that her dude didnt like her to give him oral sex because it was disrespectful to his queen...

I had no such qualms....



He even invited me to their wedding and I went to the reception




Hellbound

 

[MewTwo]

There was this hoodrat that was a sales assistant In a friends store that I was fukking now and then.....anyway I was at a local New years eve party with my friend Elvis and she was there with her half sister (i think it was same dad different mom) so Im posting up with this girl and Elvis is with her sister, everything is good until Elvis sees his ex girl and the next thing hes gone off with her....

about 5 am I tell them Im going and that I can give them a lift home, when we were in my car I said Im stopping off home first, we get to my house and Im fukking my jumpoff in the bedroom and her sister is in the front room waiting, the chick then knocks on the door asking how long we gonna be, I tell her to come in .....she walks in and i said "your sister cant handle the dikk do you wanna help out"...her sister actually moved over on the bed to make space ......lol even now while im typing this im laughing, spent the next hour taking terms fukkin them....

They didnt mess about with each other or anything like that though

The second story is kind of messed up, I was running a club and on a sunday we had 2 promoters that were running the night, one was a woman...really really cool , she was engaged and It was strictly business, I never stepped to her in anyway, a couple of times her fiance came by to give them a hand....I got to know him a bit and he was some kind of youth councillor but apparently he had done 8 years in jail and was a bit of an OG that had turned his life around....

One saturday she had booked the vip for a friend of hers birthday, it wasnt her night to work so she was in the vip with her friends, i was behind the bar talking with the bar manager when she came over and asked me to dance with her....i couldnt even dance properly cause it felt weird and my mind is thinking "what the fukk does this mean?" "why did she ask me for a dance"....anyway i felt a bit shook and told her I had to check something in the office and Ill see her later..... couple of hours later she asks if she can talk to me in the office, when we were in the office she said "the first time i saw you i told my friend if i wasnt engaged you would be my man"....

I had a girlfriend at the time that she had met.....we arranged to meet up the next day and I was so shook of getting caught that I damn near took her to a hotel 50 miles away...

it was truly fukked up i cant even lie.....she actually told me that her dude didnt like her to give him oral sex because it was disrespectful to his queen...

I had no such qualms....



He even invited me to their wedding and I went to the reception




Hellbound

Your first 'story' sounds like something from a porn movie. Get off brazzer and come back to reality.

LMAO @ "your sister cant handle the dikk do you wanna help out"

 

[Nemesis]

Your first 'story' sounds like something from a porn movie. Get off brazzer and come back to reality.

LMAO @ "your sister cant handle the dikk do you wanna help out"

LOL.... theres always one to call ducktales..... .. whatever... do you breh, not my fault If you cant relate because your life dont match up

 

[DreadHead P]

If nothing else I'm sure fuccin a chick in the ass in a church got me a VIP ticket wit head of the line privledges and bottle service

 

[WaveCapsByOscorp™]

i thought i was the only one who caught that

"yeah man, i got a reeeeal baaaad temper..."

 

[Demon]

fukked one of my old homies mom dukes and got my dikk sucked multiple times by her while he was upstairs asleep (he was more like a weed buddy but still )

 

[Demon]

When I was a freshman in high school my english teacher was flipping pizzas to help pay for a bus and other shyt for a senior trip to washington dc. For days she had the envelope in her locked desk, stacking that bwead . Caught her slipping one day at the end of class and took the envelope. shyt had almost 400 dollars in it Bounced from school and went right to the weedman.

They ended up going around to different classes and rounding up the people who were in that classes and going through their shyt. Several of us cut, and when we came in the next day we were rounded up too. I said "I ain't take shyt" and they had no proof

I was smoking well for several weeks

 

[Heelish]

When I was a freshman in high school my english teacher was flipping pizzas to help pay for a bus and other shyt for a senior trip to washington dc. For days she had the envelope in her locked desk, stacking that bwead . Caught her slipping one day at the end of class and took the envelope. shyt had almost 400 dollars in it Bounced from school and went right to the weedman.

They ended up going around to different classes and rounding up the people who were in that classes and going through their shyt. Several of us cut, and when we came in the next day we were rounded up too. I said "I ain't take shyt" and they had no proof

I was smoking well for several weeks

You're such a...





















Demon

 

[OG_StankBrefs]

Was playin hide n go seek when i was a youngin in mah cousin's friend's crib and i was in da basement hidin in da laundry room but i caught an abrupt case of da bubble guts like crazy. Well i didn't want to give up mah hidin spot but i couldn't hold it in so i took a shyt on some sweater in da pile of clothes, wrapped it up and threw it in da corner underneath some boxes.

Nobody found me doe and I won.

Plus i was visiting mah cuz in another city so i figured dey couldn't do nothin to me since i was leavin da next day anways.

 

[Nick Barnes]

fukked my good friends little sister... While dude was in the next room watching tv

 

[Patrick Kane]

Being a non-believer

This

And I also stole a watch and a Sony discman (had MMLP in it too) from church when I was 11