This is the thing a sad amount of people don't seem to get, or maybe they do and they think believing otherwise will somehow make it true.
I don't know who has convinced men that they aren't competing against other men. It's a buyers market and women have never had more choice in men than they do today. You might be a great storyteller, know how to tell jokes and make people laugh, be good at comforting people when they're upset and be a generous person who will make time to help those in need. But if you aren't attractive, you'll be treated as a friend and nothing more, because you may have all those traits but there's another man who has the same going on for him while getting 5k every two weeks and being built like an athlete.
I dont know why men insist on clinging to this delusion that they won't lose out to another man who has more going for him and that all that matters is what kind of person he is. It's a harmful belief and it only leads to men getting frustrated and feeling like people are gaslighting them when they talk about difficulty with dating.
Sometimes it really is as simple as "you're ugly to a majority of women and also broke. You shouldn't be angry that women are exercising their options and choosing a man who has what you don't, just because you're not in a position to do the same. If it bothers you that much, step your financial game up and fix your face and body"