What Are Your Thoughts On Players Using Anal Beads To Win Chess Games

Prince.Skeletor

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Lichess? It’s the biggest chess server in the planet…
Bro come on
He asked you to be butt naked & turn around & you almost fell for it.

And there’s loads of gay sections on that site

BE HONEST!!
Did you actually do it??
 

Charlie Hustle

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Chess grandmaster accused of using anal beads to win ‘likely cheated over 100 times’​


A chess grandmaster who beat the world champion has been accused of cheating ‘over 100 times’ in his career.

At just 19-years-old Hans Mok Niemann sensationally beat the world champ Magnus Carlsen earlier this year.

The upset rocked the chess world to its core and resulted in rumours that Niemann had somehow cheated his way to victory.

A wild theory suggested vibrating anal beads could be his tactic.

Lodged deep inside him, they would pass through the airport-style tournament security and – being controlled by his coach watching the match – vibrate gently to let him know the right moves to make.

Neimann didn’t help his cause when he stated he would play naked as a way to prove his innocence.

Unfortunately for him, an extensive 72-page investigation into Neimann by Chess.com has made some damning claims.

It says the chess prodigy broke the rules in tournaments as recently as 2020, noting ‘many remarkable signals and unusual patterns in Hans’ path as a player’.

In fact, the report says that Neimann used illegal computer aids to receive assistance in over 100 online games in his path to the top. Many of these tournaments included cash prizes, it added.

Neimann was expelled from the site in 2020 for ‘blatant cheating’.

At present, he hasn’t issued a statement on the report.

‘Outside his online play, Hans is the fastest rising top player in Classical [over-the-board] chess in modern history,’ the Chess.com report reads.

Looking purely at rating, Hans should be classified as a member of this group of top young players. While we don’t doubt that Hans is a talented player, we note that his results are statistically extraordinary.’

The world of chess is divided over Niemann’s abilities.

Some other chess pros have defended him, calling the allegations a ‘witch hunt’.

Among the 10 players participating in the Sinquefield Cup, Niemann was the lowest rated and the least likely to defeat Magnus Carlsen who was on a two-year unbeaten streak.
shaq-walk-away.gif
 

RhodyRum

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Does this stop at chess though? :jbhmm:

Remember during the Goff era in LA when it was always mentioned that McVay would assist Goff all the way up to when Goff's helmet mic would cut off?

Here's one way to keep the communication going right before the snap :ld:

Are we sure it was trash-cans that the Astros used for cheating, or was that just the far less sinister front?

Some diabolical shıt if you ask me (pun intended) :dame:
 
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badhat

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You gotta deploy preemptive hackers if you're playing chess, start broadcasting some bizarre time signatures like 13/7 at 190 bpm.
 

5n0man

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The title of that article is pure clickbait.

Makes it sound like it was proven that dude used anal beads to cheat when that's just a wild theory from some random on the internet. The truth is that dude was a high rank chess players who admitted to cheating in past online games so people questioned his win against a better player.
 

GooPunch

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I'm a casual chess enjoyer and I like watching events that Maurice Ashley hosts, so I tuned into the Sinquefield cup last year to see if he was announcing it. I ended up watching/following the whole tournament. Here's my summary of what ACTUALLY happened as best as I remember:

The Sinquefield cup is an annual invite-only chess tournament for the strongest chess players. One player, Richard Rapport withdrew from the tournament and was replaced by a 19 year old grandmaster named Hans Niemann.

When Hans ended up playing Magnus (the world champion), he defeated him with the black pieces. Black is considered to have a disadvantage because white goes first, so just getting a draw as black is okay, and a win is great. Magnus hadn't lost as white in quite some time (hes the strongest player in the world so it makes sense), so this made the win particularly surprising.

Magnus withdrew from the tournament without saying anything which set the chess world ablaze. Everyone assumed it was because Magnus felt Hans cheated (which Magnus later confirmed). The streamers jumped on this controversey for the views, and during one of the popular streamer's broadcast, a random viewer said he probably used anal beads to cheat.

Thats it. Thats how the anal beads story came about. He wasn't even cheating in the end. Magnus played poorly. All the best players in the world say so, and Hans didn't play particularly amazing (he just capitalized on the opportunity). All the articles, all the press coverage, Elon Musk mentioning it, all stems from one random person on the internet making a cac joke.
 
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