What if She Was Only Girlfriend Material?

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I don’t expect anyone I’m getting to know to be a life long partner, I think you’re mischaracterizing what I’m saying here which is: when I meet a person, I make an assessment of them and decide whether or not I’m interested in getting to know that person further. This does not mean I’m expecting anything from them.

If I meet a woman and determine that she’s not someone I’m interested in getting to know any further, that doesn’t mean I’m disappointed, she’s just someone I’m not interested in.

You're leaving out the "stating you intentions" and "seeing a future" part of your argument though which is what I addressed. I think it's safe to say no one (for the most part) is trying to move forward with someone they don't like. That kinda goes without saying. I'm talking about "seeing" something in someone before they have gone through the ringers.

 

[Yesterday]

A lot of dude's initial intentions with a woman that intrigues them is of the intimate variety....they want to fukk and cuff immediately and don't allow themselves a buffer of feeling that person out as a "friend" to see if there are character flaws, compatibility issues or differences in life goals. I've been guilty of this in the past. Give yourself that buffer then you should be 100 percent sure if you can build with that person in a monogamous relationship.

Sometimes people are in your life for seasons, nothing wrong with that. By nature we're all just using each other whether a relationship or dating or marriage.

If two people are comfortable but don't represent what each other wants long term then it's okay to enjoy each other for the moment. I'll tell a chick hey if you find someone while we're doing this feel free to let me know.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I feel the only way to get to good wife or husband status is by being a good gf or bf.

I agree to an extent.

Good wives are good girlfriends. But a good girlfriend is not necessarily a good wife.

 

[myBlackisGodly]

27+ you should be dating to marry, if your not the marriage type then this is also the age you should probably start warning the women you date that you don't see marriage in your future...

 

[Matt504]

You're leaving out the "stating you intentions" and "seeing a future" part of your argument though which is what I addressed. I think it's safe to say no one (for the most part) is trying to move forward with someone they don't like. That kinda goes without saying. I'm talking about "seeing" something in someone before they have gone through the ringers.

Everyone should be up front about their intentions straight out the gate, if a woman isn't interested in casual sex with no strings attached, she should make it known, if a man just wants to fukk chill sometimes, he should make it known. Whatever you're looking for should put on the table so there's no room for confusion.

You don't have to put someone "through the ringers" to make an assessment about them, a conversation about each other's interests and background will suffice. There are answers to certain questions I ask that will immediately let me know that this person isn't someone I'm interested in dealing with, there's no point in dating to see where things go after that.

 

[Poitier]

Sometimes people are in your life for seasons, nothing wrong with that. By nature we're all just using each other whether a relationship or dating or marriage.

If two people are comfortable but don't represent what each other wants long term then it's okay to enjoy each other for the moment. I'll tell a chick hey if you find someone while we're doing this feel free to let me know.

I can get that from a woman without being in a monogamous relationship or without using any terms like girlfriend

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Everyone should be up front about their intentions straight out the gate, if a woman isn't interested in casual sex with no strings attached, she should make it known, if a man just wants to fukk chill sometimes, he should make it known. Whatever you're looking for should put on the table so there's no room for confusion.

You don't have to put someone "through the ringers" to make an assessment about them, a conversation about each other's interests and background will suffice. There are answers to certain questions I ask that will immediately let me know that this person isn't someone I'm interested in dealing with, there's no point in dating to see where things go after that.

The thread is about committed/semi committed relationships though. Not about fukk buddies and people you just met. You stated earlier that a chick isn't going to be your girl unless you see her possibly being your wife. That is the statement I am address my comments towards. Not fukk buddies.

 

[DanniC]

So if the woman makes you happy at this very moment but doesn't have the qualities you want your wife to have in a few years then she is ???

 

[GreenGhxst]

Ofcourse, when you're married finances come together, and you have kids together. Both of those things can be paradigm changers.

 

[Matt504]

The thread is about committed/semi committed relationships though. Not about fukk buddies and people you just met. You stated earlier that a chick isn't going to be your girl unless you see her possibly being your wife. That is the statement I am address my comments towards. Not fukk buddies.

I'm not talking about fukk buddies either, the discussions I keep mentioning should take place before any sex happens.

and yes, I would not start a relationship with someone I could not see myself being with long term, I'd make that determination based on my assessment of her.

 

[4fossa]

I ain't getting married in this lifetime (at least that's my actual plan) so I only think about a girl being gr material lol

 

[Rawtid]

I agree to an extent.

Good wives are good girlfriends. But a good girlfriend is not necessarily a good wife.

I agree, but the title of good wife cannot exist without having had first been a good gf. Like you just don't pull up on the scene as a good wife. It's levels to it. I guess...I've never been either a gf or a wife so I don't know shyt. Just going by what I see on TV.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I've never been either a gf or a wife so I don't know shyt. Just going by what I see on TV.

 

[Yesterday]

I can get that from a woman without being in a monogamous relationship or without using any terms like girlfriend

We're not talking about you, we're talking about the general population. I can get that too but I'm not going to play stupid about the fact that some people prefer the security.