What should be the dating time minimum (months/years) before getting married?

[Rawtid]

If anything living with that person teaches you about your temperament. Having someone stay over 3 times a week is different than someone in your face 24/7, barging into the bathroom when you trying to take a dump, pets, how clean that person is, etc. This is a buyer's market. It would be silly not to take advantage of it.

That's why you communicate with your spouse. "I don't like it when you..." Marriage isn't supposed to be easy with you having covered every scenario possible before you do it for real. Even if we compare it with a test drive, the car could still break down after you get it home.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Stats actually show that your more likely to get divorce if you co-habitate before marriage.

 

[Grams]

What could you find out about someone that you couldn't without shacking up?

Is this a serious question or nah let me know.

So you telling me there you know everything about a person if you don't live with them?

 

[BlackElitism]

LOL buying a car and getting married are two different things and if a test drive and living togther is on the same level to you then

Living with someone I'm not married to is more of a financial and emotional risk to ME and it's something I wouldn't do. I have a child and there is a lot for me to consider. It's foolish to me and I think people that do it are fools but if it works for you then I'm happy that it did.

You probably should have gave all this info from the beginning so we could have determined whether to respond or not.

You have a child? With your ex-wife I'm hoping, because otherwise I would have to ask why you would have a child with someone you not married to? That's more of a risk than living with someone before marriage.

Living together prior to marriage has little cons.You can always get another woman. As long as you share no bills it should be a smooth transition should you decide to part. Problem is people are moving in sharing bills without any discussions on where the relationship is headed. If not towards marriage you hustling backwards.

 

[BlackElitism]

Stats actually show that your more likely to get divorce if you co-habitate before marriage.

I wouldn't doubt it but do those statistics go into depth about how long that couple lived together. I'm sure it varies on lengths.

 

[Rawtid]

Is this a serious question or nah let me know.

So you telling me there you know everything about a person if you don't live with them?

So living with some equates to knowing everything about them?

 

[malbaker86]

You probably should have gave all this info from the beginning so we could have determined whether to respond or not.

You have a child? With your ex-wife I'm hoping, because otherwise I would have to ask why you would have a child with someone you not married to? That's more of a risk than living with someone before marriage.

Living together prior to marriage has little cons.You can always get another woman. As long as you share no bills it should be a smooth transition should you decide to part. Problem is people are moving in sharing bills without any discussions on where the relationship is headed. If not towards marriage you hustling backwards.

Said everything I was going to say and THEN some. My wife and I lived together for 2 years prior to getting married and I learned how to deal with living with her on a DAY TO DAY basis while paying bills together.

For her to call people FOOLS for living together before marriage is foolish on her part. Ridiculous choice of words

 

[Grams]

So living with some equates to knowing everything about them?

I'd rather live with someone everyday for two years then get married to them than see someone every __days for a few hours for two years then get married to them

 

[DaChampIsHere]

I wouldn't doubt it but do those statistics go into depth about how long that couple lived together. I'm sure it varies on lengths.

Why do people only wanna listen to stats when they verify their agenda.

No point in "playing house", IMO. If we are single, we will remain as such (especially financially) until we marry. I'm not faking the funk.

Next thing you know, people will be testing out having babies and raising children as a marriage prereq (we have some of this happening now)

 

[MeachTheMonster]

Stats actually show that your more likely to get divorce if you co-habitate before marriage.

I think that has more to do with religious pressures, and irresponsible relationships. Than it has to do with it actualy being a bad idea to cohabitate.

Most people who end up married without cohabitation, are either very religious or part of an arranged marriage, or both. Obviously they'd have a lower divorce rate.

Some people who cohabitate do so for the wrong reasons, and those wrong reasons extend to marriage, eventually they get a divorce because they never should have lived together in the first place.

 

[Rawtid]

You probably should have gave all this info from the beginning so we could have determined whether to respond or not.

You have a child? With your ex-wife I'm hoping, because otherwise I would have to ask why you would have a child with someone you not married to? That's more of a risk than living with someone before marriage.

Living together prior to marriage has little cons.You can always get another woman. As long as you share no bills it should be a smooth transition should you decide to part. Problem is people are moving in sharing bills without any discussions on where the relationship is headed. If not towards marriage you hustling backwards.

I'm a female and I had a child with a person I was unmarried to. Lord, forgive me for my sins.


I'm not speaking from a religious or "moral" perspective, but I'm talking about financially. In most cases people are combining households because it will be cheaper but they couldn't afford the place themselves. So if the relationship is over they are forced to move and in some cases aren't able to find a cheaper place in a better area. I've just seen a lot of scenarios first hand and it's a position I'm too afraid to be in.

 

[Grams]

Why do people only wanna listen to stats when they verify their agenda.

No point in "playing house", IMO. If we are single, we will remain as such (especially financially) until we marry. I'm not faking the funk.

Next thing you know, people will be testing out having babies and raising children as a marriage prereq (we have some of this happening now)

 

[DaChampIsHere]

I think that has more to do with religious pressures, and irresponsible relationships. Than it has to do with it actualy being a bad idea to cohabitate.

Most people who end up married without cohabitation, are either very religious or part of an arranged marriage, or both. Obviously they'd have a lower divorce rate.

Some people who cohabitate do so for the wrong reasons, and those wrong reasons extend to marriage, eventually they get a divorce because they never should have lived together in the first place.

Sure thing breh. Numbers don't lie though, nor do they try to account for every individual case. That's just the general state. You are more likely to divorce.

You can laugh but studies show you are more likely to be wrong in your assumption that cohabitation prepares you for marriage. They aren't the same and it doesn't necessarily prepare you for anything.

Having full knowledge that you can leave someone at your convenience doesn't prepare you for long term, lifelong commitment. Only good counseling and doing such will.

As a man, I can justify giving up my space and freedom for a woman who is not mine.

 

[Grams]

You can laugh but studies show you are more likely to be wrong in your assumption that cohabitation prepares you for marriage. They aren't the same and it doesn't necessarily prepare you fro anything.

How do you go from single to married in 4 seconds b. Explain please.

No point in "playing house", IMO. If we are single, we will remain as such (especially financially) until we marry. I'm not faking the funk.

 

[MrNoFlyZone]

There should be some kind of a balance while you're dating where you each have your own spot but can come through and stay for a few days at a time to see the person's habits without being stuck living with them.

Once you see what kind of a household they hold down on their own, you know whether or not you could live with them, and ultimately if you can make that jump to marriage just based off how much independence they can or can't handle.