"We need to talk" = I need to complain about you
"Have fun at the party" = do not have fun at the party
"You dont need to buy me a present" = you need to buy me a very expensive gift
"Yes" = no
"No" = yes
"Im very adventurous" = Ive slept with every guy who gives me even a hint of attention
are you hungry? = take me to dinner
were going to be late = yes it took me five hours to get ready but its all your fault so drive faster who cares its your insurance not mine
you seem like a player = I find you interesting
youre such a jerk = I am attracted to you
so why did you break up with your ex girlfriend = whats wrong with you
its getting kinda late = Im not going to have sex with you
so are we together = I want you to stop fukking other women
do you like me = I like you
we have different values = I found somebody else to fukk
I am tired of drama and BS = I am very attracted to a$$holes
I like your friends, but.. = I dont like your friends
I want a man to spoil me = im already having sex with one guy, but now i need an AFC to spend money on me
Ive been really busy = I dont like you
Whos that girl you were talking to = are you having sex with that girl
"I want to be friends first" = guys just pump and dump me so now im gonna take my insecurities out on you and make you wait
"Im not ready for a relationship right now" = im not ready for a relationship with you, ever
"I just dont want a boyfriend right now" = I dont want you as a boyfriend, ever
"Thats okay" = I want to think long and hard about how Im going to make you suffer
"Ill be ready in 5 minutes" = Ill be ready in 2 hours
"You dont know how to communicate" = you need to do what I tell you
"We can always still be friends" = there is no way in hell Im going to let any part of your body ever touch any part of mine, ever again
"I like you but.." = I dont like you
"Theres no one else I swear" = Im banging two of your best friends
"I love sex" = I love sex with other people, but not with you
"I cant believe I did that" = i do that all the time with other guys
"Ive never done that before!" = I do that all the time with other guys but will only do it with you once in a while so you think youre special
"Were moving too fast" = Im not ready to sleep with you again until I find out if the bad boy I got the hots for is out of prison yet
"Do I look fat" = everything is going perfect so we need to fight
"I cant believe i just sent you that picture!" = I do this all the time
"Whatever" = f*ck off
"Can you help me with ___________" = if I keep whining and making him think he will fukk me the idiot will do what I say
"Where are you?" = why arent you here doing things for me
"I'm not sure what I want" = I don't want you
"You're such a great guy!" = You're a chump
"I have a headache" = I won't be having sex with you tonight
"I'm tired, I think I'm just going to stay in tonight" = I'm going to fukk someone else tonight
"I hate my ex" = I'm still in love with my ex but he won't take me back
"I'm so happy for you!" = I am jealous and not happy for you at all
"I don't care, let's go wherever" = you better know where I want to be taken
"It's nothing" = this is a big deal
"I think I'll just stay in and take it easy" = you did something minor to make my gina dry up and I'm considering never talking to you again
"yeah, I'm all for starting out dating non-monogamously" = if I even suspect you have a lunch date with someone else you are a player and a loser
"I'm not ready to have sex yet" = You've still got "x" amount of hoops to jump through cowboy
"I was really an idiot to marry my ex" = I blame others for my own choices in life, and I was desperate and approaching the wall, besides, all my other girlfriends were getting married and I was afraid to be the last one
"Men are all the same" = I refuse to change my ways because nothing is ever my fault
"Your friends are awesome!" = once I get you to commit I'll alienate every one of them from you and slowly isolate you and your wallet
"I like to take it slow at first" = I'm still judging you and testing you
"Let's do something next week" = unless I get a better offer
"I can't stand my ex" = I think about doing him every night
"I promise, I'm not a cat lady" = I am so totally a cat lady
"Look at that skank" = I'm jealous of all the male attention she gets
"I'm not in a position to do this properly and it wouldn't be fair for you unless i could give it a proper shot" = i don't like you anymore and i've already started looking for a new guy to fukk
"eww, i dont even like sex, dikks are ugly" = I'm a total slut and feel like a piece of garbage for getting fukked by so many worthless losers over the years
"i don't suck dikk" = i don't suck YOUR dikk
"I just think we need some space" = Im thinking of sucking and fukking this other guy or multiple guys but im not sure yet, i will let you know at your lowest point, for now ill keep you in suspense
call me on Thursday to confirm = youre my backup plan. I have almost no intention of actually going out with you
I really like you as a friend = Im not going to sleep with you or date you, but you can take me out and buy me dinner if I dont have anything better going on
do you mind if I leave some of my things at your place = I want other women to know youre seeing someone
sorry I didnt get back to you sooner, I was so busy with work/feeling sick = take a hint, I could not possibly care any less about you
sorry I turned my phone off/battery died = I was busy with some other guy
sorry I cant make it this Friday after all = I found something better to do
I dont get along with girls because theyre jealous of me = I dont get along with girls because Im a stuck up bytch
Its not really going to be a couples thing, so maybe well meet up after? = I dont want my friends to think Im dating you seriously
its just girls night out = Im looking for the bigger better deal
I dont care about money you know Im not like that = yeah sure thats why you brought it up
= im exactly like other girls 
