What does having a baby with somebody have to do with loving them and vowing to stick with them for the rest of your life no matter what?,im guessing that's what you were getting at
...Just as I expected and why I don't feel the need to do that shyt
...Like I said,i WILL do it if it would make her feel better about this "stigma" one day.
....im sorry a lot of black women haven't got a chance to experience it,but I can tell them that the word "ex wife" "wife/ball and chain" aint any less stigmatizing if you could hear the tone in which husbands/ex husbands use it when talking about they women...but yea,let me get married cuz these other nikkas is negative when they talking about theirs
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So women out here forcing themselves and others into lifelong contracts so they can avoid social stigmas...
I cant help it nikkas constantly talking shyt about they baby mamas have caused that phrase to be seen in a negative light in the eyes of black women.....its simply that way because baby mama/baby daddy relationships are more common in our community....
My tone is very loving when I talk about my baby mama 95% of the time
Swearing in churches we never go too,and signing contracts like the same ones i broke wit Tmobile is supposed to prove something
...They got Obama care now,I don't want anybody allowed in the hospital room as im dying,they can come in after im dead
...I don't want her to have power to pull the plug as I do have life insurance
and I wouldn't want to have to make the decision to kill her at this point....but if a woman came at me logically with the points you made I would say ":interesting
let me think about it"....and then maybe I could come back to her and let her know after I die and she get all the medical bills and any of my debt she will be on the hook maybe she'll fall back
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...but I don't need it,it'll be her event and I will show up to it to make her happy....but lets not pretend its about the love and for my happiness,i can verbally commit when its real and I decide to....its for benefits and stigmas
shes a homemaker/baby sitter for right now,she may go back to work as my daughter gets older
But yeah im not 100% against it at some point down the line,once im old and stuck in my ways....right now im still kinda young and flexible
the bottom line is that marriage is about the fiscal and legal advantages. all that "love" and "forever" talk is all game.
nothing wrong with getting married for legal and economic reasons by the way. what we're trying to advocate is that people (both males and females) at least realize and accept these reasons and don't play themselves. it's a legal contract. if you're gonna get into a contract, make sure you're comfortable with all it entails in each potential scenario. don't think "oh, i don't even have to think about scenario C because it'll never happen, because we're in love!!!"
when you get married you better think about what if your wife decides to not go back to work after the kid? what if she decides to stop doing her share? what if she doesn't want to fukk anymore? what if she decides to leave you? what if she makes stupid financial decisions? what if she decides she doesn't want to have kids anymore and you do? what if you have to leave her for whatever reason?
think about how the contract you signed is restricting you in some respects. but also think of all the benefits mentioned in other posts in this thread. if you're comfortable with all of this, get married, if not, dont.
one more point some of the things such as power of attorney, wills, etc, you can actually go to a notary and get without getting married. marriage isn't the only option.
but what if some are positive, some are negative? (the most likely scenario since no relationship is perfect)
see now you're trying to make it a statement on her value. maybe me choosing to marry or not marry a woman is about my happiness and my circumstances at the moment. you're the one trying to put the focus on her. as far as "adding the stigma", is it me doing this to her or the world? if there is a stigma associated with being black, should i then try to make us white to not add to the stigma?My point is if you are getting your baby momma notarized into your will and added to your health care... If that woman is that important to you, why add that stigma of baby momma to her? If she's not good enough to be your wife, then she shouldn't be the bearer of your child...
Just my opinion though
I'm not one of those get married brehs but the highlited are wrong.
