when is the last time you broke down and cried, and why?
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Arrogance.
King Novak of Melbourne, the First of His Name
I pray you find peace in this.
I have, to a degree. Some things I still find difficult, and I don't really like talking to people about it. The anonymous nature of this website allowed me to expand upon my feelings because I'm just an avi and a post here, you know? I wouldn't have been able to post something like this on Facebook (for instance) because I would have felt a bit shallow, and I know the people who would have came forth to say words of encouragement. I think it's healthy to be able to speak your mind into a void, even if it just helps you clear the mental fog you're currently in. I find ways to do it, sometimes just by taking a long walk through the neighborhood and allowing my thoughts to spill out into the air. Like I said in my first post, I don't mean to be a downer. As a matter of fact I much prefer being able to speak with people candidly about their feelings, just because you never know who will be able to say something that has a profound, comforting effect on you. I miss my friend, a lot. And as time has passed I've grown a bit numb to the rawness of my feelings during that first week. I haven't forgotten those feelings, and I hope I never do. My sincerest hope when it comes to that particular situation is that I continue to grow stronger as a person, because the thoughts and feelings I have when it comes to her have helped me grow as a person. As cheesy as it sounds, sometimes it takes dark circumstances to bring you to the light. Even a simple plant needs to have shelter from the light in the form of night to grow to its fullest potential.
@HewittAve , I apologize again if i made you reach into your reservoir of feelings in regard to your family member. I wasn't attempting to make you expand on your feelings and I completely understand if you wish to remain guarded about them, or however you feel. I do hope that speaking on it makes you feel a bit of comfort, and if you ever need to just vent, PM a breh. Speaking on things, in any fashion, is more helpful than holding your feelings in and allowing them to act like swallowed knives to the abdomen.
Words aren't always the best way to convey your feelings. A simple hug, letting someone know you're there for them, and you're listening can be enough. Don't feel bad because you didn't have the solutions, feel good because you were there for your sister. I shared a hug with a friend of mine last September and she'll never know how much that hug meant to me.
Aw shyt I'm over here just trying to push positive waves out there, but I mean every word of what I'm saying here.
when slim dunkin died
shyt changed my life
shyt changed my life
R.O. Double
Holdin My Balls Since 83
I spoke on it in another thread.
http://www.thecoli.com/posts/3870267/
Since then I been good. I came close twice in the last month tho.
The first one was when I was driving and "Grandma's Hands" by Bill Withers came on. I was driving in my truck saying "fukk you Bill! You ain't gonna get me nikka". Then I was straight.
The second one was about a week and a half ago. It's been a gang war going on back home. My lil nikka Tank got murdered on 79th and Fig. I just talked to him the day before, it was his birthday and he was talking about how he was feeling so blessed to make it to 25, he was not even out of jail for a year and he was trying to turn his life around. That shyt hurt. I seen this nikka grow up. I ain't cry tho, I just...
http://www.thecoli.com/posts/3870267/
Since then I been good. I came close twice in the last month tho.
The first one was when I was driving and "Grandma's Hands" by Bill Withers came on. I was driving in my truck saying "fukk you Bill! You ain't gonna get me nikka". Then I was straight.
The second one was about a week and a half ago. It's been a gang war going on back home. My lil nikka Tank got murdered on 79th and Fig. I just talked to him the day before, it was his birthday and he was talking about how he was feeling so blessed to make it to 25, he was not even out of jail for a year and he was trying to turn his life around. That shyt hurt. I seen this nikka grow up. I ain't cry tho, I just...
My ex's funeral couple years ago...tore me apart
about 7 weeks ago after breaking my ankle being a drunk idiot. It had me into deep thought about a whole bunch of other stresses going on in life. before that...probably 4 years ago when my first gf crushed my heart 
USSInsiders
Banned
from a freakishly vivid dream on some vietnam veteran PTSD shyt, woke up in a cold sweat and everything 
sanityovar8ted
OG Moma Coli....dat bytch Thowd!!!
Tuesday. My a/c wasnt working n I couldnt find my other pak of pasta so I had to turn the oven on in the unbearable heat.
Actually I think the last time I cried ... I had a dream that I had a son, and I was as happy as I'd ever been in my entire existence.
I woke up softly sniffling into my pillow.
But I don't want kids, so I have no idea where that shyt came from.
I woke up softly sniffling into my pillow.
But I don't want kids, so I have no idea where that shyt came from.
Right after I totaled my first car about 10 months ago. I was turning into the parking lot at work and bam, got crushed by another car I didn't see coming. I thought I broke some ribs when it first happened. I got out and every thing to get myself sorted. My co-workers at the time, most of them were my closest friends too so they were kind of shook, too. And it happened like right outside of the building I work in. I decided to go to the hospital as a precaution and thankfully, nothing was wrong. But the embarrassment, seeing my first car all fukked up and being in an accident and everything... I couldn't hold it in. I took one last look at what was left of what I used to drive and I felt it coming on. As soon as I sat in the car of the person who was taking me to get checked out, I openly sobbed. Hadn't felt that bad in years.
Probably when me and my father got into it and almost when at each other and my mother was sick at the time jumped in the middle and started to breakdown. And she told me if I left that my dad would be devasted then tears came down a nikka's eyes.
When my parents got divorced. It came out of nowhere for me, I thought they were going to last. My dad sat me and my little brother down to tell us the bad news and he left to his apartment. My eyes were red but I wasn't balling. I didn't know how to react initially so I walked around our neighborhood. I saw my mom come home from work and when we made eye contact I just started balling. The only time outside of being a little kid that I broke down like that. My heart ached for a good month. 5 years ago
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BlvdBrawler
Superstar
When I found out this girl I was going on and on about has a new boyfriend. We were screwing around 2 years ago and had a fight.. I just kept living on trying to accomplish my goals, moving out and getting into this tattoo shop thinking we could reconcile and work at the shop together. 2 years I've been looking forward to reconnecting with this girl and then that. Lots of mixed emotions. But I'm a better man for it now. Still working on getting myself where I want to be and being happy with the life I'm living. I'm in a good place with lots of potential. So
2... years breh? What did you expect?
men can cry, it's not soft.
I didn't even cry as a boy.... except when i was a baby. Haven't cried in over 25 years.... and counting. I do get sad and I feel that sadness like once every 10 years.
, but I don't cry tho because nothing really bad has ever happened to me in my entire life. i been shot, stabbed twice, burn in car accident, Didn't make 7th grade Bball team (this was my closest to crying) was in war in the military-8years, four years of deployments, have a kid (my kid) that died, a shortie cheated on me... ............All sorts of shyt... but since a lil kid just figured stuff would be aight
shyt is always aight
its in how u think of it.. but I also know Allah has a nikka back too.
I didn't even cry as a boy.... except when i was a baby. Haven't cried in over 25 years.... and counting. I do get sad and I feel that sadness like once every 10 years.
, but I don't cry tho because nothing really bad has ever happened to me in my entire life. i been shot, stabbed twice, burn in car accident, Didn't make 7th grade Bball team (this was my closest to crying) was in war in the military-8years, four years of deployments, have a kid (my kid) that died, a shortie cheated on me... ............All sorts of shyt... but since a lil kid just figured stuff would be aight
shyt is always aight
its in how u think of it.. but I also know Allah has a nikka back too.