Where Are the Brothas? How the Continued Erasure of Black Men’s Voices on the Marriage Question Perp

[Hiphoplives4eva]

I did? I don’t remember saying that.


As for the op, I think there was a study by the brooking institute that suggested that when brehettes marry Brehs they don’t really benefit from it financially, like other groups of women do when they marry men from their own race.

And it could be because the brehettes who do marry are sometimes marrying down. But that also debunks the myth that Brehs lose more financially in a divorce—if a woman makes more than the man, doesn’t she have more to lose financially if the marriage ends? The majority of black folks and bm don’t make enough for that to be a real argument as to why they don’t want to marry(the fear of her taking all his money) yet this is used as an excuse on here consistently.

This is straight bullshyt. Both men and women benefit financially from Marriage, no matter their starting income level. In fact married women have 50% more wealth on average then their single counterparts.


Unfortunately for you and a lot of your single black sisterhood, old age is going to be a difficult time when your single and unwed, despite what your feminist blogs are telling you.

 

[Hiphoplives4eva]

Black men don’t want to get married???

36% of black men are married, compared to 25% of black women and there’s twice as many black women..

so this notion of black men don’t want to get married is bullshyt

these women are not getting chosen because they bring nothing to the table… this shyt about u having a car, a place to sleep, and a career just means your a adult….. never once u hear many of these women say I’m submissive, cooperative and willing to follow my man…

its all about them and what they want

so I don’t care how many times articles like this is posted, it won’t change the fact many of these sisters are not willing to change

Yup. Most of my single black female friends are the main ones blocking marriage. I have a fine ass friend who is a chemical engineer who I had to tell off at a party one weekend cause she was harassing me for liking Kevin Samuels. Had to lecture her on why she was still single despite her being so fine. The next week she started going online saying she is currently working on her femininity.

these women are listening despite all their noise. Men stay strong and let these women know what you will accept and not accept.

 

[Neuromancer]

It was the thread where you were telling us about the guy you're currently dating. Iirc, he wants to marry, you dont. I meant to reach out privately to you and inquire further, actually, but real life is very busy rn.


Interestingly, this happened to my brother. He made less but ended up losing more bc, though he had been the primary caregiver, as a man, he wasnt gon fight to take the child from her mother. So she, the primary breadwinner, ended up with custody and child support.


Neither do the pawgers and paagers, but they damn sure in here.

Report them too.

 

[Ya Sinning Mane]

I'm out the game so this is all an interesting read through

It's not the BM or BW fault.

It's so much background stuff keeping us apart .

I believe America's downfall will be the rise of the Black man and woman.

We will be forced to stick together and shyt will hopefully patch up.


Wishful thinking but I got faith In us to bring it back.

 

[Neuromancer]

Once again, still doesn’t concern with my post. I am looking for more systemic issues of black misandry and the institutions that support black male exclusion and oppression. We are looking at the same coin, but I see this is apart of a broader issue impacting black folks, especially black men.

Do you feel the macro effects bred the micro effects?

 

[Phitz]

Long story from the Jamaican standpoint they were being arrested for having little street parties yet Mochafest was allowed to happen.


Mochafest is basically a Female freaknik. I heard some shea hoin' channels say it's better than Hedoism because the dudes aren't older dudes.


They have them in Cancun too.

Need you to elaborate more on this for me.

apparently in several countries, Dubai included

Official Site Urban Events | Urban Festival

 

[HarlemHottie]

If that's the case then it only shows that average BM (I don't give a shxt about any other race like that) are starting to use talking points of BM in a higher tax bracket when they shouldn't

They all think they gon be rich. KS said it in reference to women, but your post made me realize its everybody.

It used to be a white American thing to make real life social and political decisions gettin the perspective of a 'temporarily embarrassed millionaire,' but cultural assimilation (not financial), aka, "access to interracial sex" and limited social integration, really got a good number of bp confused.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

This is straight bullshyt. Both men and women benefit financially from Marriage, no matter there starting income level. In fact married women have 50% more wealth on average then there single counterparts.


Unfortunately for you and a lot of your single black sisterhood, old age is going to be a difficult time when your single and unwed, despite what your feminist blogs are telling toy

Okay breh.

 

[Treblemaka]

Black men don’t want to get married???

36% of black men are married, compared to 25% of black women and there’s twice as many black women..

so this notion of black men don’t want to get married is bullshyt

these women are not getting chosen because they bring nothing to the table… this shyt about u having a car, a place to sleep, and a career just means your a adult….. never once u hear many of these women say I’m submissive, cooperative and willing to follow my man…

its all about them and what they want

so I don’t care how many times articles like this is posted, it won’t change the fact many of these sisters are not willing to change

There aren't twice as many black women in this country as men, it's 52%/48% in favor of women.

Saying 36% vs 25% on the marriage rate is still absymal. One part is that BM statically marry out more than BW do. The other peice is that is still alarmingly low. Asians, Hispanics, and White are all married at about 55% or more. The only group across the board that BM marry higher than is BW and its 20%+ lower than every other group of men.

Meanwhile we have the highest rate of childbirth outside of marriage so everyone is still open to smashing and having babies but not helping to secure their childrens future by raising them in a stable two parent household.

 

[Serious]

Long story from the Jamaican standpoint they were being arrested for having little street parties yet Mochafest was allowed to happen.


Mochafest is basically a Female freaknik. I heard some shea hoin' channels say it's better than Hedoism because the dudes aren't older dudes.


They have them in Cancun too.

I don't see the problem.
As long as it not my wife or daughter

 

[ogc163]

Child Support - Court automatically puts the woman as the more "suitable" parent

This statement is way too absolute, but I didn't highlight this statement because the state of child support law is too often conflated with the rest of family law. I can acknowledge child support law is highly flawed without lumping it in with the rest of family law.

Alimony - Ancient law in general. Non-stop payments to a woman who you were married to, sometimes these payments can be for life

The current state of alimony is set up so that there generally isn't excessive alimony payments, this characterization doesn't apply to most of divorce law. The main exceptions to this are when:

• The woman is a stay at home wife with little to no income.
• The discrepancy in income or wealth between the husband and wife is substantial.

The vast majority of Black men do not have or can afford stay at home wives, and most Black men like most people have wives with similar incomes. And so the alimony boogie man doesn't have a major impact on them.

Divorce - Half of your money gone to her, doesn't even matter what income level you are on

You have a link to back this up, because it seems like highly unlikely that this would be true, but I could be wrong.

 

[Taadow]

my point still stands. if we want to be married,

...aaaand here’s where I’ll stop you, because this is The Big “If”; The Elephant In The Room.

What the data seems to show is that more women would rather not be married than what
society assumes. So if that is true, why do we keep asking them what kind of men they want?

 

[Seoul Gleou]

...aaaand here’s where I’ll stop you, because this is The Big “If”; The Elephant In The Room.

What the data seems to show is that more women would rather not be married than what
society assumes. So if that is true, why do we keep asking them what kind of men they want?

i mean, i literally addressed the rest of your post after the comma in mine.

the topic is about marriage. if that's what we want to discuss, my point still stands.

if it isn't about marriage, we have shed that outdated institution. why not shed the rigid roles and requirements that accompanied it, too?

women don't need to be caretakers and supporters, men don't need to be bread winners and leaders. whatever works for the family or partners that doesn't harm the child or each other is what should be adopted. simple.

 

[SuburbanPimp]

Marriage is overrated.

 

[Taadow]

i mean, i literally addressed the rest of your post after the comma in mine.

the topic is about marriage. if that's what we want to discuss, my point still stands.

if it isn't about marriage,

The main idea is not marriage...it’s about whether or not it matters what men think
about being in relation with women.