Why are men expected to provide and protect?

[MischievousMonkey]

My man and I were both raised in super liberal NYC. We were raised to have equal relationships. Our parents attempted equal marriages and they both failed. We didn't want to fail so we looked for a model that worked. Just like an employer, he sets the big goals and I set the mini- goals that get us there. We're saving up for a mortgage-free property. I'm able to help with that. They don't call it home economics for nothing. He's one of those focused on his career types, he prefers that I handle details. It's a good division of labor for us.

Potential employers offer me very good paying jobs. After doing the math, tho, I'd break about even, as most American two income families do. I think it's bc, 1. women cost more to keep up, 2. women 'out in the world' compete a lot with other women for very real, social reasons. Unfortunately, that doesn't often lead to conservation of resources. It leads to better bags, shoes, trips, etc.

I'm not at all trying to convince you. I'm trying to tell you that you don't have all the necessary information. The caricature of SAHW's is a bit out-dated. Modern women ain't sitting around like Peg Bundy. There's a whole sub- culture of very active women who don't work outside the home.

What were your life goals before meeting your husband?

 

[The Devil's Advocate]

I honestly feel like that way of thinking is outdated.

I have no desire to spend my money or put my life at risk for some woman

it is outdated... and it surely is not any part of nature It's a two part answer.


At some point in history, people started doing work, in exchange for items of value. Both men and women did this, through all of history. Men usually did the tougher work physically, and kept women out of any power positions in white collar situations. Therefore men made the most money. Even today, if it's the same job, men tend to make more. So it wasn't even that women were not SUPPOSED to be working or providing. Society said no, you just work housework, or retail jobs, or secretaries, and we pay shyt.. You barely can even live off it. Or you get yourself a man.....


Which goes to the second part.. Women back then weren't living on their own. They couldn't afford to. So they'd be pushed to find a man who provides, and get married. Wasn't no shacking up with some nikka. You stayed your ass at home, until a good man came and asked daddy to have you, and then you moved in, cause he had the job and situation. And that's why courting was so big. You didn't a search radius and an age filter and pics to see. You had the few women in your town and the next, and all the guys was vying for them. So you took her out, wined and dined her, treated her right... So you can lock her down. So marriage is a huge factor in why men are supposed to provide. You two together and you making all the damn money.





Well now it's 2019. Women out here making the same thing we are. They don't NEED us to provide shyt. Not only that, they'll say it right in your damn face. I don't need no man for shyt. I don't even need my children's father, his child support or him in our lives. With noooo problems. They ain't getting apartments, they buying houses on their own. Parents aren't ashamed when they move out with some boyfriend they fukking. They help them pack and wish them well. All these women can do for themselves with no problem, and still have lines of men trying to get at them on a daily basis

But men are still SUPPOSED to provide? Protect isn't even something to bring up. Of course that's nature. You're the bigger, stronger species... But to say a man is SUPPOSED to give up all his bread, in every situation, to "provide", is fukking crazy. I'm a "what's mine is yours, yours is mine" type of guy. If we together, we take care of each other. I could never be with a woman on some "you gotta take care of me" type shyt.

 

[GhettoTeK]

I don’t I got my own and protection

 

[AllHolosEve]

Cold part is nikkas letting women who don't even have fathers telling them what a man is supposed to be

I'm dead at this shyt. I straight up told some chicks there's no such thing as a "real man" cause there's no set criteria for the shyt.

One woman say a real man protects his family. Next one say her man real cause he works but he beats her & neglects his kids. Next chick, real man pays the bills but a d boy bringing cops to the crib. Next one a real man doesn't make his woman work. @Prynce don't fall this shyt breh. You protect the shyt you love honor cherish. A man don't gotta protect shyt he ain't really invested in.

My BM was driving my car & her aunt told me a real man would let a woman ride up front so I should get in back. bytch this my shyt, get in back.

Women dictating the terms of being a man

But never walked the shoes of bejng a man

 

[Shadow King]

It's nature. Women have gone against nature for the last 100 years but it's nature nonetheless.

 

[Prynce]

You see when you challenge a social construct and people start acting like you're a fukked up person

Why am I defined as a man and a good person in relation to what I do for a woman?

Y'all nikkas sheep

 

[MischievousMonkey]

Also another thing about the "nature thing": women have been work, hard work, for millennials until industrialization really.

Farmers and peasants weren't letting their wife (nor children) at home just cleaning and cooking
They were in the fields under the sun planting and harvesting

This natural manly ability to provide is something that apparently hasn't been applied for centuries until industrialization

 

[Artenche]

Y'all are looking at the terms to literally lol.

Provide nowadays don't mean bringing home the bread while she is home all day on her ass. A man could provide many things. Comfort, intimacy, direction, confidence, and growth. Same with protection. Usually, if he makes a good living he has a good head on his shoulders. So that helps and means that he can probably provide the above.

Girl's waking up and not settling for bums anymore.

The game has changed brehs.

 

[Prynce]

I would not want my daughter around a dude like @Prynce ever.

How can you want to be involved with women and not want to protect them?

I take pride in knowing if I'm out with female friends/coworkers or family that they would look to me to help protect them if need be.

I don't take pride in that shyt lmao
I'm not some bodyguard.

I'll treat ya daughter well fam lmaoq

 

[Prynce]

Well ain’t this some pot calling the kettle black level of hypocrisy. Self awareness is just nonexistent. SMH.

I have a father and he was married to my mom lmao

Doesn't mean the marriage wasn't fukked up

Y'all weird as fukk with the shaming tactics

 

[HarlemHottie]

What were your life goals before meeting your husband?

Something between historian and archaeologist. I wasn't all the way sure yet, we were still in UG. But I also wanted to marry young. I realized the internal contradiction (tons more school and lots of travel, all for low pay), but I figured I'd cross that bridge later.

 

[Arithmetic]

Some of these responses are one-dimensional. The richest black family I personally know the wife makes a little more than the husband and that says a lot considering the husband is doing extremely well. They are both financial "providers" and their kids will reap the benefits.

 

[Blankthawtz]

fukk a bytch!....

 

[HarlemHottie]

The way a man acts when in "provide and protect" mode for a woman and children is completely different than he would otherwise naturally act. He is more stable, predictable, and controllable.

There are humongous destabilizing economic and social ramifications for a society in which men no longer feel compelled to do this.

That said, the right girl will make you want to do those things provided she's submissive, nurturing, and willing to play her role as you play yours. Most aren't really capable of doing that so it's incumbent on men to not risk taking this gamble on women who are.

This is what I want for my people. We have a lot of people out here with no real connections doing dumb shyt, making dumb choices with no consequences.

Agree about destabilizing influences, but imo that's why we need tradition more than ever. Notice how people with money still do the antiquated shyt. That's cuz it works.

 

[HarlemHottie]

Some of these responses are one-dimensional. The richest black family I personally know the wife makes a little more than the husband and that says a lot considering the husband is doing extremely well. They are both financial "providers" and their kids will reap the benefits.

How Black Middle-Class Kids Become Poor Adults