Why Are So Many Young Men Against Committment These Days?

[BrehWyatt]

I feel like this is a race issue. If you don’t see the financial benefits of a solid commitment then

You are absolutely right. My brother broke it down to me about how his current relationship -- which he thinks has potential for the long haul -- is based around the higher probability of financial security and freedom. Meaning, that while I'm sure he has some kind of fondness/love for his current, his primary motivation for being with her is her earning potential and how well it can complement his earning potential and long-term plans for generational wealth. I totally understand that.

However, I feel like that method of thinking also contributes to the aversion toward commitment amongst the current society. These days, commitment -- or the appearance of it -- is done for convenience or for people to look good in the eyes of society. Not because it's actually meant. Like, if you commit to somebody to build wealth and all that … what happens if your partner gets into an accident and their ability to contribute to those plans for wealth-building is compromised or shot to hell? You still committed to them as a person, or were you just committing to their potential?

 

[March Madness]

lol


single nikkas that are having their way with this shyt aren't getting tied down.


i can get relationship intangibles (sex, company, food, etc) w/o being ur boyfriend.


i work in finance and live in a 480k luxury high-rise...thiss how all the big dogs move.


a good GOOD number of nikkas in relationships are just in them out of fear + scarcity.


they cuffed because it was the easiest way for them to get sex regularly.


if they could put up Kevin Durant numbers as a single man they wouldn't be in one.

 

[March Madness]

ill bite since im in here.

Do you not know of any successful married people in your surrounding area?

older people people in my area and family, sure. all younger married couples i know flamed out before 30.

Why is it hard for you to find someone that fits your MO?

i regularly meet women that fit my M.O, but dont feel compelled to commit to them 4 whatever reason. me not settling down rn is more of a timing thing than it is me not finding what i want lol.

Do you care about a woman's body count and if so, do you believe that yours would have to be at a certain number as well?

i do, but i believe "body count" means different things for a woman than it does a man. U need context 2 interpret the numbers, but the totality of a woman with 60 bodies is going to be different from a man with 60-70 bodies, usually.

Do you believe in having multiple partners simultaneously and letting all parties know or keeping them in the dark?

i feel if we haven't discussed being exclusive i don't have to tell you anything tbh. im not opposed to letting all parties know tho.

Do you engage in temporary relationships for sex and/or do you enjoy a woman's company?

this is a case-by-case basis depending on the woman. some U kick out the condo after sex, some U let stay for awhile, some spend the night etc etc. it's variable.

Do you believe there's a direct correlation between one's sexual experience to their mental health?

possibly.

Do you believe that the temporary relationship culture is causing more unwanted children out of wedlock and high STD rates?

you probably have a case for STDs but i don't see people my age (24-28) having kids much at all... the US birth rate is declining and i dont know how you could quantify what's "unwanted" with raw numberss.

 

[Fatboi1]

because this

 

[CrushedGroove]

It's because females act like males and vice versa. I wouldn't want a female that refers to me as bro and females probably don't want dudes that keep stealing her jeans.

Plus everything is geared toward the physical so it seems like people value each other much less. Robots.

 

[Black Nate Grey]

Never really been the case with me. I've had as of this year, two exes that proposed and one who is on the verge but he know I'm not on stable ground right now.


I'm the one on the , b/c they had shyt to work out and I got growing to do.

I have a lot to lose getting married and not a lot to gain. If I'm going to be completely honest, marriage in the only way I know it to be is terrifying to me. Just trying to ensure I don't get taken advantage of and will be able to look at one dude for the rest of my life and not want to strangle him.

All the peer pressure and societal shyt never really worked on me as a female to get married. I've seen 44+ year marriages and if I do, it has to be the long haul. Nobody in our immediate family on either mom or dad's side has ever been divorced. No OOW babies. No homosexuality. No rape or domestic violence or abuse.
A lot of the energy dudes be putting out these days is completely foreign to me. I've had dudes try to "insult" me on some
"You a goody two-shoe" "you sheltered"
I don't give two flying fukks. I'm not gonna be the one grandchild to bring some fukked up shyt into our family and have to deal with them talking shyt for the rest of my life.

I would rather get married two days before I croak at 107 to somebody that is right for me, than to spend an entire lifetime with somebody I'm secretly tired of, who I resent, whose dikk I don't want near me, who cheats on me or tries to live off me, or beats my ass but I married just to do what other people wanted me to do.

Men are usually the ones with cold feet but a lot of women are starting to wake up to being more cautious about the institution. We can debate it but women have more to lose than men do when it comes to marriage IMO.

I was with you until the bolded.

 

[Easy-E]

Do you not know of any successful married people in your surrounding area?

Only two of my 15 aunts/uncles (counting only the siblings of my mom and dad) are married to the first person they married.

That's a 87% divorce rate. One of my little cousins is already divorce and so is one of my older one.

And I believe four of my cousins had "shotgun weddings" (married after a girl got pregnant)--tho I hope they all succeed....

Marriage ain't looking too pretty. Not to mention I have a religious family.

Why is it hard for you to find someone that fits your MO?

I wouldn't even say I've tried hard enough. I work too much.

Do you care about a woman's body count and if so, do you believe that yours would have to be at a certain number as well?

I bet you 95% of women would want to know mine if I didn't tell them.

I do not believe casual sex is inconsequential--you can't spend a decade doing the opposite of commitment and come out able to settle down. Life is not a hurricane.

Do you believe in having multiple partners simultaneously and letting all parties know or keeping them in the dark?

These days..why not? People gotta decide if we gonna be freebirds or prudes.

Do you engage in temporary relationships for sex and/or do you enjoy a woman's company?

No comment. But, relationships for sex is the worst reason to be in one.

Do you believe there's a direct correlation between one's sexual experience to their mental health?

I'll let the psychologists decide that one.

Do you believe that the temporary relationship culture is causing more unwanted children out of wedlock and high STD rates?

No. White people prolly have more sexual partners than black people, but, they can afford sexual health care.

 

[Reno89]

Big FACTS... Societal pressure... Female shaming... Etc

One thing I've learned... Women tolerate alot of shyt based on who you are & how they see you.

One man might have to committ to her with no compromise - while the next man could have his way and have a house full of women if he wanted to.

Same way how one man gotta wine & dine, while the next nikka just shows up, smash & dip....

1. Not all female shaming is bad. Honestly, some of these cats don't know how they look 40 years old still up in the club

2. Whether a chick lets you strictly smash, or force you to commit, is solely based on how you present yourself. If you present yourself as a dude that's not really looking for anything serious, and seem like you already have females on the team, you're more likely to fall into the former category.

If you having hour-long conversations with her, not letting your intentions be known, and come off like you're trying to sweet-talk her, you're going to fall into the latter category. Your only option would be to keep the act up and act mackish after she let you hit.

3. If you present yourself as a laid-back dude that's just trying to have some fun, you put the ball in her Court to say yay or nay. You'll be surprised how many women go with it.

 

[Silkk]

I feel like this is a race issue. If you don’t see the financial benefits of a solid commitment then

Depends on the partner though. Remember men are expected to pay for most of the dates and bills in a partnership. I had a partner who knew I had a decent amount of disposable income after taking care of bills, but she always felt entitled to go out somewhere "nice" every weekend, while not contributing to any funds. I was losing money dealing wit her, because she wanted to try and post shyt for the gram like she was living some type of way.

The concept of staying in and cooking meals was always left her bitter, despite me telling her I'm trying invest my money now, so that it'll be worth more in the future. She understood the concept but hated when I put it to practice.

A lot of peeps(men and women) only want the finished product, but hate going through the process. . At the end of the day, the only real thing she brought to the relationship was lackluster companionship and sex. I can get that anywhere, while spending an eighth of what I did.Now I'd rather just save my money, do the bare minimum(just enough to smash or properly vet), unless they display attributes which demonstrate that we're on the same wave,

And it's not a race issue, I talk with dudes from other races, and they've complained about roughly the same shyt.

I have way more money when im not dealing with bytches, idk wtf dude is talking about

 

[Serious]

I have way more money when im not dealing with bytches, idk wtf dude is talking about

She means if as a couple, you're combining incomes to acquire assets and pay bills. In theory this works, but there's a lot of women out here who believe men should be paying 100% for everything, while they keep all their money, spend yours, and working is optional despite not taking on other household chores.....

For example, imagine a woman is a stay at home mother, but when you come home the house is a mess, dishes aren't done, the floor needs to be vacuumed etc.


That my friend is why I'm fine with being single. If i was trapped in a situation like that, I'd definitely think about committing that. I refuse to take care of someone who's only asset in the relationship is conditional sex.

 

[DraymondT]

I dont want to give up or use my assets on someone who wont be there for me for the rest of their days. Thats why my moms the only woman i spend on and really love TBH. A chick can be great wifey material and ur game can be on point 99% of the time but at the end of the day they are emotional beings and we're (for the most part specially when animal instincts dont kick in) logical/ it just take one bad day and her not feeling wanted to end it. All that time and commitment for what? And we got stats and the internet now the other generations havent had...........marriages either end in divorce or unhappiness. Girl gets alot of shyt in common-law splits and specially divorces. Those married couples who are truly happy into their senior years are as rare as it get and from a different era too that shyt not happening no more. The peaks of a relationship might be higher than being single but its valleys/downpoints are much lower than being single too. All my life ive been a consistent lowkey dude, always loved myself and my happiness.........the steady life good wit me i dont need another person having such a big influence on my livelihood any time soon. Most ppl in relationships specially the ones that go from one relationship to the next got alot of issues within themselves IMO

 

[GodinDaFlesh]

Because women are flaky as hell. One day she is mad in love with you, the next day "the magic is no longer there". Why would you want to be committed to a person whose emotions change like the wind?

 

[Black Sinatra]

Mostly because they are "young." Nikkas have the largely exxagerated idea that the potential p*ssy is promised versus the committed p*ssy.
The other reasons are tied to emotional immaturity, inexperience, low confidence, and feelings of inadequacy. That's a post for my laptop and not my phone.

 

[Black Sinatra]

Double post

 

[number21]

At least 75%(greatly lowballing) of western women believe in feminism. Which makes them not worth committing to.

Like why would any man with a decent amount of sense would want to commit to a female that's not looking to be submissive to you and have no respect for manhood.