Misery loves company. They want you to suffer.
The rational thing is to not have children if you cannot afford them and if you still have things you want to do. Most people are not rational and most people who have kids didn't actually think that shyt through.
When you have children your life as an individual is OVER. No more shopping sprees, no long ass vacations, no days where all you do is sit at home and read or game. No spontaneous hangouts, no partying and Wilding out. Hell even that sweet 65 inch OLED TV and 7.1 Dolby atmos system you bought will be playing docmcstuffins most of the day.
fukkalldat. People should have kids when they are ready and they have the financial, social and psychological resources to actually be a decent parent to that child. I know as I am now, I will resent my kids if I have them before I'm ready so I'm not finna have kids because of pressure lmao
This.
Having children is not a selfless act. In fact it's the people who stick their nose up and view having kids as some tremendous sacrifice and burden they must take on to prove theyre grown or whatever who end up being the most cruel, awful, selfish parents. The types that parent by the moniker "my house my rules. You can leave if you dont like it." The type that believe the kids they brought in this world and everyone around them owes them praise, adulation, on demand assistance with all her wants and needs, and constant attention just for having children.
Having a child is a blessed PRIVILEGE to have in your life not an annoying sacrifice anyone needs to hear a grown adult bytching about. When I see idiot parents who get some type of sadistic pleasure treating their children like they're annoying them all the time and should be seen and not heard, instead of connecting with them and allowing them to enjoy a healthy and happy world I just shake my head. Children are immature and annoying. You knew this. If someone with no means to take care of themselves whining, crying and having their own needs bothers you than you should be fukking single. Children are a privilege.
Very few people from my experience have kids because they've situated themselves in a place where they can make a calculated, knowledgeable, and most of all HAPPY decision that they are prepared to take on the challenge, wonder and blessing of raising a child and having family. Most people make the choice to have kids because they are worried about their partner leaving, or they are worried about their toxic family members who always judge, criticize and pressure them. Or the rest of their friends and family have kids and they don't want to look "bad," or they may be anxious about never having children in their lifetime, or they feel depessed and anxious about loneliness.
And they do it with this Disney movie fantasy in their head of what having a child and kids in the house is gonna be like. And then they bring this child into this world and treat them like shyt the moment they realize the child is an individual with his own thoughts, feelings, wants, attitudes, ideas, behaviors and needs and not a walking trophy you own and command just to prove youre "grown."
Most people have children to satisfy themselves and their own adult needs, even if they dont realize it. Not to selflessly satisfy and dedicate themselves to the emotions, needs, feelings and life of another person.
OP, those of us who have the maturity to say "children ain't for me...not now at least...perhaps not ever. Im not prepared to dedicate myself to a child." and are willing to take on the emotions, cost, physical energy, and difficulties of taking on life single than that is showing FAR more maturity than the leagues, scores, and masses of "parents" in America--certainly black America sadly--who had kids just to prove they "grown" to everyone else and have no idea how to be parents or relate to their children other than shouting, sucking their teeth, getting the belt, and constantly asserting their dominance to them.
If anyone is selfish its these single mothers out here who popped out kids just to satisfy some bum ass boyfriend at the time or some equally selfish church going parents, and don't even have the mildest curiosity to learn how to be a good parent or to be truly close with their children, but think they are above criticism and owed superhero praise because "im a single mother."
It aint grown ass single men (or women) taking care of themselves and thinking long and twice before they bring someone else into this world who are being selfish towards anyone. Believe that.
