Women of the Coli, can you tell me why telling you to smile is offensive?

[Tenchi Ryu]

Because I don't exist to make you comfortable Mofos only said that shyt as a line to get the drawls. If you want them so bad, how about you say something to make me smile?! Since I'm already having a bad freakin day

It also used to feel either like a command or as a shaming tactic.

You too cute to be frowning like that (So I'm only attractive when I'm lit up like a jack o lantern? )

Why don't you give a smile?

Why don't you get the hell outta my face

That brought back some memories.

Thank everything above men don't say that anymore (or at least to me). It's normally some random small talk now.

 

[Vice Queen]

I'd go further and say it's not always about being a buzzkill.
As a black man I've never gotten I need to smile, but I have gotten that I looked "mean" or was "too quiet" in the workplace before.

Now to me, that is offensive because you are clearly threatened by my shear presence and want me to take on the responsibility of making you comfortable, which in my opinion has everything to do with your preception and fear of black men.

I'm just curious to hear a woman's perspective on this topic.

It's similar for us. I'm not here to make you comfortable. Women are supposed to be pleasant. Nah, we got real shyt to deal with, it's not always sunshine and rainbows. My resting bytch face is real. I think a lot. I gotta think and smile?

 

[tuckgod]

Woman: *walking and not smiling*

Man: you should smile, it's too nice outside for you to be walking around like that

Woman: *smiles*

what happens next?

Does the man keep it moving?

 

[Matt504]

Too different things. Usually when someone tells me to smile it's either to start a conversation or break the ice.

That's the entire point, the person asking you to smile doesn't care that you aren't smiling, he cares that you appear to be unapproachable. Asking a stranger to smile is just as absurd as asking them to dance, one action just requires more effort.

 

[Pool_Shark]

I think cause telling a girl to smile is like saying they're only there to please you. You reduce them to be something nice to look at. Some girls want that kind of attention but not all of them guys shouldn't get mad when a girl finds that offensive.

 

[Ashley Banks]

It's not offensive it's annoying because you get told to smile like 50 times a day, the first few times idrc but after the 10th time you're just like "leave me alone "

and why do I need to smile? what if I'm mad? Or sad? or thinking about something? what if it's hot af outside and I'm sweating and my feet hurt, why would I smile? Guys need to find another way to break the ice because I be ready to fight after a certain point.

 

[IttyBittyKitty]

 

[Mandarin Duck]

Why do men think they are entitled to tell women how to conduct themselves for you?
Why do men think women have to extend themselves and inconvenience themselves just to please you?

Did you read the op?
I'm asking the question not saying women should be conducting themselves in any way towards me

 

[KOOL-AID]

i get it people tell me to smile alot cuz i got mean mug face, smiling just to smile is retarded if imma do it, its gonna be genuine.

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

That's the entire point, the person asking you to smile doesn't care that you aren't smiling, he cares that you appear to be unapproachable. Asking a stranger to smile is just as absurd as asking them to dance, one action just requires more effort.

Eh. My answer still stands. I don't see any offense to it. Besides doing it for the approach, some people tell me just simply because I appear to be upset or in a bad mood. Telling them to fukk off or feel offended is not deserved. They didn't do anything to me.

 

[VFib]

It's not offensive to me, but I don't understand the point of that request.

If you want me to smile, at least give me a reason to.

Me not smiling doesn't mean I'm unhappy. I'm usually just deep in thought.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

Eh. My answer still stands. I don't see any offense to it. Besides doing it for the approach, some people tell me just simply because I appear to be upset or in a bad mood. Telling them to fukk off or feel offended is not deserved. They didn't do anything to me.

So as a woman who doesn't really find it offensive, can you offer your opinion as to why some do?

 

[TEH]

I'm not a woman but no stranger has the right to issue orders to another stranger.

 

[little4209]

It's just kind of annoying..like, you don't know my life lol..sometimes men have used it as a lead in and others have just said it and kept on moving...

In response, I always just grin sarcastically....either way, somebody's trying to be nice/cordial to me, so I take it as such..even if they are annoying Af

 

[Mandarin Duck]

It's just kind of annoying..like, you don't know my life lol..sometimes men have used it as a lead in and others have just said it and kept on moving...

In response, I always just grin sarcastically....either way, somebody's trying to be nice/cordial to me, so I take it as such..even if they are annoying Af

I've never said that to a woman but that seems like such an odd start to a conversation. Lol. Like where the hell do you go from there?