Always felt like that, was never that interested in it as a profession as much as I really just liked the feeling. Kinda like Sienfeld was saying what made him want to be a comic was seeing other comics and having this respect for them and just going "I want to be one of those guys
I kinda fell back on it because while I can do it I felt like I wasn't being true to myself. You can be a decent rapper, have the whole mechanics down and be able to bullshyt your way through a studio session like a professional, but that doesn't really mean you DOING it...for me, I hated that I sounded like people I listened to, I wanted to find MY voice and tell MY story which was terrifying to me because that means you now have to go into a deep self analysis and really bring something unique from out of everything that has made you thus far...
I knew that I couldn't be content with just rappin for the fukk of it just to say I was a rapper, because everybody is a fukking rapper...and I wasn't ready to be honest with myself about my past and just my life in general to be in a place where I could actually bring that out and present it in a meaningful way, I would have just been another nikka rhyming words and I couldn't bare that burden so I sat it down. I'm getting the urge now though, and realizing that I didn't really have to "find" myself to become an MC, the process of becoming and MC is what can actually help you find yourself.