You should always be better than any woman you deal with.

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

In what way? Intelligence? Finances? Pedigree? I ask bc this is where i think modern ppl, esp women, get some things wrong. You can be equals in some ways, but not others.

My man and i are equals in intelligence (tho he'd argue opposite bc I'm more of a generalist while he drills down on a few subjects), but he's better than me in some ways too. I legit look up to him in many ways, ie, he's morally better than me.

This maintains a good tone in the relationship, one of mutual respect and admiration.

Over the span of 20 yrs, we've gone through a few different relationship configurations. The results echo theories of evolutionary biology. When he put me on a pedestal, the end result was a lack of attraction (on MY part). Hewasnt acting like his normal self, i became increasingly bytchy and shrewish, it was a vicious cycle. We saw what was happening and tried the other way, me admiring him, and things normalized. In fact, they improved. I was even more attracted, he liked that feeling and decided to chase it with continual self improvement- a virtuous cycle where we're both striving to be good enough for the other.

Part of our purpose as humans is to use this dynamic towards a goal of continual mutual betterment. That's how you as a couple go on to raise good kids, help your community, etc. You push each other to become better, regardless of who started out 'better'.

This is an odd post. I won't disagree with your experience because it's yours. But I will say that this model isn't necessarily a model for your everyone.

 

[MajesticLion]

Illusions of control.

 

[HarlemHottie]

This is an odd post. I won't disagree with your experience because it's yours. But I will say that this model isn't necessarily a model for your everyone.

Illusions of control.

I see you dapped this, black pearl. I don't disagree, it sort of is an illusion. Like, i could very easily open my own door, but the illusion is that he opens it to lighten my load or whatever. These illusions maintain a tone, one that is helpful in maintaining a long term relationship where you both care for each other even when it's not necessary.

Whoever disagrees, no disrespect, but i need to know how long your longest relationship was/ has been and how y'all work it out among yourselves.

 

[knl14]

I don’t know if I would use the term “better”, but me and all of my girls want someone who can “enhance” us. I have to be with someone who enhances many parts of my life. Someone who can teach me something and/or has an understanding of certain concepts that I do not. I’m a young professional woman who just started making a lot of money. My man doesn’t make more than me but he makes enough and knows how to manage it better than I do (saving and investing) so I’m learning from him. We are both intelligent but he is a mechanical engineer and has a completely different skill set than I do. I have an embarrassingly poor understanding of mechanics, and it turns me on watching him work on cars or fix things around the place when prior to meeting him I wouldn’t have to hire someone to do it or try (and fail) at doing it myself.

Everyone is deficient in some aspect of their lives, we should all strive to find someone who complements us.

 

[Phitz]

Hilarious thread

I LOVE my boring no drama relationship

 

[Commish]

Never put a woman on a pedestal period, because that same pedestal you put her on she'll use it to look down on you from.

I usually reciprocated on the energy given.

If a woman likes you and sees you have other options and you aren't really sweating her like other men are they are quicker to fall in line.

Carry yourself like its a privilege for you to even be sharing your presence with her. Don't ever be to hesitant to walk away from a situation either.

I pretty much agree with the overall premise of your post, but what stood out the most of what you said was the last line in your post.

There are no guarantees that any woman you deal with will “fall in line” no matter how you may feel about yourself, carry yourself, treat her, others, etc...

Also, everyone has options. Anyone with a modicum of common sense already knows this..

Nevertheless, what you have stated is for the most part how I feel about dealing with women. Reciprocate the energy and effort given to you. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal. Know self, love self and like you said, don’t hesitate to walk away from someone and/or a situation, if you feel it is necessary..

Good post!

 

[Genos]

Got nikkas triggered tonight boy


Please explain to me how you got that out of what I said

The fact that you think anyone is better than you is the biggest giveaway

 

[Hey_zeus]

This has a defeatist edge to it.

 

[phcitywarrior]

In what way? Intelligence? Finances? Pedigree? I ask bc this is where i think modern ppl, esp women, get some things wrong. You can be equals in some ways, but not others.

My man and i are equals in intelligence (tho he'd argue opposite bc I'm more of a generalist while he drills down on a few subjects), but he's better than me in some ways too. I legit look up to him in many ways, ie, he's morally better than me.

This maintains a good tone in the relationship, one of mutual respect and admiration.

Over the span of 20 yrs, we've gone through a few different relationship configurations. The results echo theories of evolutionary biology. When he put me on a pedestal, the end result was a lack of attraction (on MY part). Hewasnt acting like his normal self, i became increasingly bytchy and shrewish, it was a vicious cycle. We saw what was happening and tried the other way, me admiring him, and things normalized. In fact, they improved. I was even more attracted, he liked that feeling and decided to chase it with continual self improvement- a virtuous cycle where we're both striving to be good enough for the other.

Part of our purpose as humans is to use this dynamic towards a goal of continual mutual betterment. That's how you as a couple go on to raise good kids, help your community, etc. You push each other to become better, regardless of who started out 'better'.

I appreciate the candor and insight in this post. Dap + Rep

 

[Youseenmywork]

I want to put a pin in this and come back to it now anit the time . I can already hear the answers from women thoe

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

In what way? Intelligence? Finances? Pedigree? I ask bc this is where i think modern ppl, esp women, get some things wrong. You can be equals in some ways, but not others.

My man and i are equals in intelligence (tho he'd argue opposite bc I'm more of a generalist while he drills down on a few subjects), but he's better than me in some ways too. I legit look up to him in many ways, ie, he's morally better than me.

This maintains a good tone in the relationship, one of mutual respect and admiration.

Over the span of 20 yrs, we've gone through a few different relationship configurations. The results echo theories of evolutionary biology. When he put me on a pedestal, the end result was a lack of attraction (on MY part). Hewasnt acting like his normal self, i became increasingly bytchy and shrewish, it was a vicious cycle. We saw what was happening and tried the other way, me admiring him, and things normalized. In fact, they improved. I was even more attracted, he liked that feeling and decided to chase it with continual self improvement- a virtuous cycle where we're both striving to be good enough for the other.

Part of our purpose as humans is to use this dynamic towards a goal of continual mutual betterment. That's how you as a couple go on to raise good kids, help your community, etc. You push each other to become better, regardless of who started out 'better'.

You never cease to amaze me with your honesty and pureness in these types of conversations. This is like the 3rd time I've seen you just be thoughtful and contemplative and I want you to know I appreciate that.

And not cause you agree with me. Even if you didnt agree, I really appreciate what you bring to the conversation.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

I don’t know if I would use the term “better”, but me and all of my girls want someone who can “enhance” us. I have to be with someone who enhances many parts of my life. Someone who can teach me something and/or has an understanding of certain concepts that I do not. I’m a young professional woman who just started making a lot of money. My man doesn’t make more than me but he makes enough and knows how to manage it better than I do (saving and investing) so I’m learning from him. We are both intelligent but he is a mechanical engineer and has a completely different skill set than I do. I have an embarrassingly poor understanding of mechanics, and it turns me on watching him work on cars or fix things around the place when prior to meeting him I wouldn’t have to hire someone to do it or try (and fail) at doing it myself.

Everyone is deficient in some aspect of their lives, we should all strive to find someone who complements us.

Well we're saying the same thing. A man cant enhance you if he isnt working with a toolbox that you dont have. And he couldnt enhance you if he was less than you.

Every woman wants a man that can teach them something new.

When I was younger, I went after this woman who was just way more experienced than me in every single way at the time. She dealt with more opposite sex (and same sex) relationships, had lived life on her own and she at the time, even tho she was attracted to me, she was better than me at that time

I didn't realize that till years later. I leveled up like Gohan in the hyperbolic time chamber and now I'm better than her through the experiences I've had.

But that's an example of me dealing with a woman that was out of my league.

There was nothing I could bring to her life at that time. I wasnt honest with myself at the time but hindsight is always 20 20.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

I want to put a pin in this and come back to it now anit the time . I can already hear the answers from women thoe

Breh women in here being honest. You love to see it

 

[Colicat]

I can agree with this. But are we really comparing mens and women's looks?

Obviously that ain't what I was talking about.








She shouldn't be doing better in life than you. She shouldn't be more intelligent than you.

And she shouldn't have more sense than you.

You should be able to lead in every meaning and sense of the word.

This some weak nikka shyt if I ever heard it...

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

This some weak nikka shyt if I ever heard it...

Go in, sis. Tell us why you feel this way