Bridesmaid, 31, hanged herself after struggling to cope with seeing her friends get married...

[DarkHorse23]

I just saw your response.

Honestly that thought never really bothered me. I guess it's because (and this may sound pretty bad) I never thought of myself as important enough to warrant a legacy. I don't see myself making some huge impact on anyone. Of course it would be great to do so but honestly, in the grand scheme of things, my life is inconsequential. I'm sure there are people out there who love me and would grieve if I die but life goes on and my life is just a drop in the bucket so why stress over such things? I can have children and I can have a husband but will they preserve anything that truly captures who I was? Maybe or maybe not. They are just the people who loved me and who I loved throughout my life. I'm going to enjoy my time with whoever happens to come into my life and I will cherish every great moment that happens.

The feeling of needing to leave a lasting impression or a "legacy" IMO creates desperation which only causes unnecessary stress. Everyone should live their lives how they wish. Seeking to live up to some unnecessary standard isn't fulfilling for me. If I can't be happy with how my life develops and feel a constant need for something more then I'm never going to be satisfied and I just don't see any good in feeling that way.

So I'm just going to accept how my life unfolds and hopefully be prepared for anything that comes.
That's just the way I see things

Beautifully written. Top 5 i've read on the Coli.

 

[DarkHorse23]

She didnt marry the rich, wealthy, famous, hot guy who would make her ''girl friends'' jealous and envious as fukk. She wanted to have a better husband than her friends, saw that at her age it was extremely unlikely, so she killed herself.

She wanted to stunt most likely. Vanity and a strong competitive nature, both pushed her to commit that suicide option.

This is why i have mixed feelings.

Sad for her pain/depression

Indifferent though, because she probably wanted a fantasy dude and couldn't attain him.

 

[DarkHorse23]

She dumped him and thought she could find better
buying into this "all women are special snowflakes" gynocentrism
5 years later after riding maaaaaaaaaaaad d!ck .....
All her friends are getting married and having babies

She doubles back.... Breh hits it and bounces

Her one shot at "happiness" aka joining her friends is gone

Her looks have hit the wall ...she's stuck with her cats and dildos

Ex new girl probably in the cut like.......


R.I,P to that girl you used to see...those days are oooooooover

I'm sorry guys but i just can't help it. Lord forgive me as well......

 

[The M.I.C.]

I just saw your response.

Honestly that thought never really bothered me. I guess it's because (and this may sound pretty bad) I never thought of myself as important enough to warrant a legacy. I don't see myself making some huge impact on anyone. Of course it would be great to do so but honestly, in the grand scheme of things, my life is inconsequential. I'm sure there are people out there who love me and would grieve if I die but life goes on and my life is just a drop in the bucket so why stress over such things? I can have children and I can have a husband but will they preserve anything that truly captures who I was? Maybe or maybe not. They are just the people who loved me and who I loved throughout my life. I'm going to enjoy my time with whoever happens to come into my life and I will cherish every great moment that happens.

The feeling of needing to leave a lasting impression or a "legacy" IMO creates desperation which only causes unnecessary stress. Everyone should live their lives how they wish. Seeking to live up to some unnecessary standard isn't fulfilling for me. If I can't be happy with how my life develops and feel a constant need for something more then I'm never going to be satisfied and I just don't see any good in feeling that way.

So I'm just going to accept how my life unfolds and hopefully be prepared for anything that comes.
That's just the way I see things

Respect.

I appreciate the openness and honesty of your response.

 

[Street Knowledge]

Not everyone is gonna get a ring

 

[aqualung]

The hanged chick was mentally ill. The problem was not entitlement. She sent crying suicidal texts and offed herself because she was not mentally stable... Men avoided her for the same reason.

This was not a cry for help. Neither is shooting oneself in the head or jumping off a high bridge. Folks don't do that shyt for attention. They do it to punch their fuggin' ticket, man.

The poster whose sister will wed the older janitor should realize that she's doing it for her 6yo b*stard child. She recognizes that the man is no dreamboat. The child needs a nuclear family; sis is tryna provide a nuclear family.

 

[MalikX]

The point I was getting to was that for some people, their identity is vested in their careers and/or superficial things.

Think about it from a certain perspective, I wake up every morning and go to work. I make my employer thousands upon thousands of dollars for my labor, they're definitely getting the lion's share of the rewards of my productivity but I make a very reasonable wage. Day after day, it's the same routine.. 12 hour days, on call, etc.. Something's missing, I'm happy in my career but I feel it's not enough. I see my friends.. They're marrying, they're in sustained relationships.. there's a warmth that comes from them now that is strange to me but I feel that joy, I want it for myself but how? I've been in school for so long, working so long to get to the top that I really don't know how to really establish myself within a relationship.. I'm frustrated but I am OK, I guess.

If I think about it, I've devoted myself to my work but when think about the thought of me laying in my deathbed and I think of the people I've impacted.. Will they come to comfort me in my last hours? Will the company that I've devoted years of my life to, made hundreds of thousands of dollars for..will they give a damn? Of course, my kin are always there but the thought of descending into the grave without leaving a tangible legacy would terrify me. No children, no spouse.. None to carry my memory or blood beyond my death. I'm speaking in hypotheticals but imagine getting older and wanting this but being frustrated by your inability to accomplish this for whatever reason.. Desperation can sometimes become inescapable.

This is why I ask folks what is it that you want to do on this Earth, what do you want to leave behind? Beyond a career and security.. What else is there? Money get spent, tombstones get whited to a point where names fade. Do you want to die alone or with no one (such a child, spouse, etc..) to fully cherish and/or pass off your memory to their kids?

We all gonna die alone breh.....and it aint gonna be pretty. You're not going be surrounded by your kids holding your hands and kissing your forehead as you pass on. More than likely you're gonna be in some smelly hospital where the nurses treat you like shyt and you're begging God to just kill you already to get the whole thing over with.

And as far as your memory goes.....you will be forgotten in 2-3 generations. Hell, people will forget about you a few months after you die. You'll be brought up less and less and less until you're a ghost. I'll tell you right now, I don't know much about my great-grandparents. I know names and where they came from. But that's it. No deep family stories. No photographs. Nothing of substance that I really know about them. All I know is one great-grandmother was a girl from a Native American Reservation and the other great-grandmother was a girl who was the daughter of a half-breed/mulatto slave who married my black great-grandfather. But that's it homie. And when I die and my siblings and my cousins die. The next generation or two will definitely forget them. The same way details about my great-great grandparents were forgotten. So you will be forgotten

You wanna be remembered for real.....do something that will make people write about you in the future. That's one reason I want to publish a few books before I die. I been saying it for the longest (have this long mess of a manuscript I haven't finished) but, the thought of someone somewhere reading the words I wrote 200 years from now is extremely dope to me. Even if I barely sell any copies, knowing that could happen down the line is amazing.

 

[Lucy]

I don't understand the obsession with marriage.

 

[Art Barr]

@Art Barr is dating your sister?

you lack proper attention in your life like a neglected child,....don't chu

 

[CarbonBraddock]

you lack proper attention in your life like a neglected child,....don't chu

at least i'm not a janitor in a fukking hospital though

 

[Art Barr]

at least i'm not a janitor in a fukking hospital though

nikkaz need to get their facts straight,.....
How you gon tell me where I work at,.......
Or where I worked at, too.
Like who are you and why should I give one iota of a fukk?

Art Barr

 

[The American]

Nobody feels sorry for her because it's most likely true that she curved a lot of men while trying to hold out for a guy who was never going to come. That guy was probably her ex, and when he didn't want her back it sent her over the edge.

She should've took a chance with one of the men who actually wanted her time.

No she shouldn't have. Those losers were not worth her time.

Cape for losers, brehs.

 

[Cynic]

Do you think people of color where thought about when this study was conducted?

Or

Is it just generalizing based on class structure in America?

Everything has a compounded effect... In black communities.

If this was a rollercoaster with a 50% death rate and 70% of those fatalities were due to someone else...would you still marginalize that down to race/class ?


Numbers dont lie.

 

[Detroit Wave]

one less cac

 

[Originalman]

It be like that sometimes. I don't think people realize the pressure you feel as a woman to "settle" down and the stigma associated with it not happening according to society's timeline. It can be very difficult because as a woman, that's really all you're expected to do in life. You could be a neurosurgeon and the first thing you'll be asked is "When are you going to settle down and have kids?"

It is even worse for white women. It is the end all be all for them I have seen the shyt first hand.