Can we discuss Mental Illness?

Mfalme_Perez

In a New York world full of strangers..
Supporter
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
1,062
Reputation
1,155
Daps
4,282
Reppin
NY 2 Trinidad
I will first say that I've been struggling with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and Clinical depression since I was very young. Most of my life I didn't even know that's what I was going through.
I was and still am to this day told that what I go through is just something I choose to do to myself. :dahell: As if I want to wake up somedays and feel like a failure at life. WTF???
I have been through all types of abuse that you can think of.
Lost my mom when I was fourteen.
Foster care.
I will share my story one day, but at the moment, its too much to rehash.

I have alot of friends who suffer like I do.
But they're so strong!!!:blessed: I love that so much!!!:blessed:
I see a really good therapist now and she has taught me how to cope when life gets rough.
The best part is, she's black!!!
She knows what it's like to be a black woman in America and it's good to have that support system in place.
Have any of you ever been through this or know someone who is Mentally Ill?
 

sanityovar8ted

OG Moma Coli....dat bytch Thowd!!!
Joined
Sep 7, 2012
Messages
18,499
Reputation
8,203
Daps
42,671
Reppin
OAK CLIFF TX
I will first say that I've been struggling with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and Clinical depression since I was very young. Most of my life I didn't even know that's what I was going through.
I was and still am to this day told that what I go through is just something I choose to do to myself. :dahell: As if I want to wake up somedays and feel like a failure at life. WTF???
I have been through all types of abuse that you can think of.
Lost my mom when I was fourteen.
Foster care.
I will share my story one day, but at the moment, its too much to rehash.

I have alot of friends who suffer like I do.
But they're so strong!!!:blessed: I love that so much!!!:blessed:
I see a really good therapist now and she has taught me how to cope when life gets rough.
The best part is, she's black!!!

She knows what it's like to be a black woman in America and it's good to have that support system in place.
Have any of you ever been through this or know someone who is Mentally Ill?
ur blessed
 
Joined
Feb 7, 2015
Messages
894
Reputation
210
Daps
1,907
@Leissyondabrain im glad you are getting they help you need. But ihave a question: how do you know your friends are "strong" and are not suffering too? Just because people aren't sharing or are putting on a brave front, doesn't mean they aren't struggling. The problem is we don't share and support each other because we are ashamed or are afraid of being judged. They probably have the same issues you have
 

Mfalme_Perez

In a New York world full of strangers..
Supporter
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
1,062
Reputation
1,155
Daps
4,282
Reppin
NY 2 Trinidad
@Leissyondabrain im glad you are getting they help you need. But ihave a question: how do you know your friends are "strong" and are not suffering too? Just because people aren't sharing or are putting on a brave front, doesn't mean they aren't struggling. The problem is we don't share and support each other because we are ashamed or are afraid of being judged. They probably have the same issues you have

This is a great question that I didn't even think to ask myself. I speak to alot of them on a daily basis and usually ask how they're REALLY doing. Sometimes they lie and say they're doing well, I do it too. It's understandable. I'll never really know, but I tell them that they're survivors and hope it sticks in their heads. That's all you really can do.
 

Paradise50

Superstar
Joined
Nov 30, 2015
Messages
8,097
Reputation
1,310
Daps
27,215
mental illness is so taboo in the black community :wow:



guy who was locked up for 19 years for a crime he didn't do killed himself today. He was exonerated like 10 years ago and only given 1.7 million and had been diagnosed w/ cancer a year ago. He was recently upgraded to stage 4 cancer which is basically a death sentence :mjcry:....They issued a silver alert because he had been missing for a week or so...within 24 hours they found him dead :wow:....think he decided to take that step once he saw the alert out there. It was released today that it was a self inflicted gunshot wound but everybody on facebook is crying conspiracy :martin:....I'm like dawg look at how rough of a life he had and he's basically told he's gonna die 10 years after finally getting released from a crime he didn't do :sadcam:


That would drive any person to the end :to:


R.I.P. Darryl Hunt


but yea if you're ever going through struggles please talk to someone ...don't let our community ignorance stop you from getting help. :takedat:
 

Mfalme_Perez

In a New York world full of strangers..
Supporter
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
1,062
Reputation
1,155
Daps
4,282
Reppin
NY 2 Trinidad
mental illness is so taboo in the black community :wow:

This is so damn sad. I hope this man received the peace he couldn't get while alive.


guy who was locked up for 19 years for a crime he didn't do killed himself today. He was exonerated like 10 years ago and only given 1.7 million and had been diagnosed w/ cancer a year ago. He was recently upgraded to stage 4 cancer which is basically a death sentence :mjcry:....They issued a silver alert because he had been missing for a week or so...within 24 hours they found him dead :wow:....think he decided to take that step once he saw the alert out there. It was released today that it was a self inflicted gunshot wound but everybody on facebook is crying conspiracy :martin:....I'm like dawg look at how rough of a life he had and he's basically told he's gonna die 10 years after finally getting released from a crime he didn't do :sadcam:


That would drive any person to the end :to:


R.I.P. Darryl Hunt


but yea if you're ever going through struggles please talk to someone ...don't let our community ignorance stop you from getting help. :takedat:
 

4North1Side2

Banned
Joined
Apr 23, 2013
Messages
2,203
Reputation
-1,005
Daps
5,042
Reppin
NULL
My heart goes out to you and everyone else who experiences this. I just want you to know that you aren't crazy and nothing is wrong with you. I admire your strength and resilience greatly.

I shared my story in another thread, I confronted everyone I wanted and doing much better now.
 

Meli

Rookie
Joined
Aug 1, 2015
Messages
99
Reputation
10
Daps
167
Reppin
South Carolina
This is interesting.....How were you able to find a therapist that you felt is a good fit for you.
 

Mfalme_Perez

In a New York world full of strangers..
Supporter
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
1,062
Reputation
1,155
Daps
4,282
Reppin
NY 2 Trinidad
I had a Case worker from a program called Lund when I lived in Vermont. The program works with women who have drug problems or Mental illness and want help parenting. I don't have a drug problem, but I did want help finding a therapist. She was an awesome person to work with and kept it a stack with me at all times. When I left to come back to NY she searched for therapist who would be a good fit. My therapist wasn't getting paid the first few months and didn’t ask for it because she was and still is in it to help.
This is interesting.....How were you able to find a therapist that you felt is a good fit for you.
 

DrX

Coming For The Crown (Japanese Dreaming)
Supporter
Joined
Jun 8, 2013
Messages
34,464
Reputation
2,335
Daps
101,972
Reppin
NULL
Yeah I suffer... I feel like I have a lot of inner demon's eating at me....but its to talk to anybody because a lot ppl exploit whoever they feel is weak
 

GoGetMyDamnBelt_

All Star
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
Messages
1,338
Reputation
920
Daps
2,539
Reppin
MIA
@Leissyondabrain didn't want to rewrite everything but I did tell my story a few months back. Here it is.



I can't provide research but I can with experience. Surprisingly, I can remember shyt from the age of 4 on up. When I was 4 my 16 year old cousin touched me. Molestation started from there. She use to babysit me and my older brother, who was a year older than me and also being touched by her, while my mom was working 2 jobs and almost due giving birth to my little brother. Not only did the broad touch me, she did this sick shyt by having me and my brother touch on eachother. Naturally, my brother and I had fear for her because she use to beat our ass and do other wicked shyt when we didn't do what she want so we didn't say anything.
It wasn't till I hit first grade where her dad purchased a plane ticket for her to go back to Bahamas (which is where she was from). Till this day, I don't know why she left.
From the age of 7, it kept happening again. By countless men, what they all had in common was that they all some form of way, knew my mother. The first time by a man, he was like 24/25, who lived in the apartments above me. He use to stay outside and watch the kids play so people naturally trusted him. Including my mom. One day, he saw me playing football with the other boys outside, it was early morning like 8 am type ish, he came downstairs furious and was dragging my ass home saying "I shouldn't be playing with other boys." Know what he did? He pushed me into the empty laundry room and fondled me. Touching on my 'developing' t*ts and cooch (I was over-developed) and I swear he would of done more if I didn't start crying. I knew what was happening and it scared me. He stopped at just touching me and nothing more.
I told my mom. She didn't believe me.
Buddy did it again multiple times after that. He did it any chance he thought we would be alone. In the stairwell, laundry room, in the empty halls, even tried to bring me inside his home.
What made him stop was his mother. She was wondering why I never come over when my family does. So I told her what her son was doing to me. I don't know what she did but I never saw him around after that.

Happened again when I was 9. A family friend resurfaced. His name was Paul. Says he knew my family since he was young, went to high school with my mom, aunts and uncle. All that good stuff. He use to come over almost every day with his wife and son. I don't remember how it started but a kiss on the cheek 'hello' turned into him giving me kisses on the mouth. Or walking into the bathroom while I'm bathing, fingering me or playing with my t*ts. It went on for months like that. Again, I told my mom. She told me "don't wear short things around the house when he comes by," or "go to your room when he's here."
I don't know whether my mom told Paul what I said or if he felt like since he can get away with just touching, he can get away with more. He raped me. I lost my virginity at 9. At the time, I didn't know much on sex. In school, I saw the other kids kiss and shyt but no one mentioned anymore than that. My mom, till this day, swore up and down I had my period when I keep telling her that wasn't what it was. I had my first menstrual at 12. That's a 3 year difference.
So instead of telling my mom this time, I told his wife. It's one of those things where I don't know what happened to him because he stopped coming around after I told.
What I do know is my mom was sleeping with him. Do you know how infuriating, how disgusted I felt to know she was sleeping not only with a married man who she plays buddy-buddy with his wife but to know she was sleeping with a man that she allows to molest and eventually rape her daughter?
My mom is one of those people who can't think without a man. A man is what defines her and what makes her more of a woman. People like her doesn't deserve kids. So, eventually, she found out what I did (telling his wife) she beat the living fukk outta me and blamed me for her not having a man. Said I'm out to sabotage her relationships. Even said I fukked the boys in the apartment building that I played football with & turned around and pinned it on Paul because I never liked him.
What made it worse is that's what my mom told my family. No one wanted to accept my side of the story on it. Everyone kept their distance. I felt alone in all this. I always thought I'd get over that shyt but at 21, I don't see it happening.
I was told it was my fault because I thought I was grown, my fault for showing off my growing titts, ass and curves. My fault for not knowing how to divert the attention of an older man.



Been dealing with depression since 8 and it looks like it gets worse with age. 3 weeks ago I was discharged from the hospital after being there for 2 weeks for suicide attempt. It wasn't my first attempt. I hate when people that don't understand try to criticize like "there's other options" or "people that tries that are stupid." Depression is no fukking joke. It causes nothing but destruction on yourself and your peers.... I start my therapy sessions on the 30th. Hopefully, I like this person.
 
Top