Come Hear the Tale of My fukked Up Vacation to NY.

Hathaway

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Few days ago, I posted a thread asking for some recommendations of places to hit up when I flew to NY this weekend. This was a family vacation. I posted a thread last year about the ills of taking toddlers on extended trips: https://www.thecoli.com/threads/taking-kids-on-vacation-is-the-fukking-worst.922480/

I gathered the tips from some of the parents on here so I could be more prepared. Only this time, we were flying to NY. Kids have never been on a plane. They are 3 and 4. Little boys. We were traveling to visit my wifes fam. Initially, I did not want to take the kids because I knew just from the trip to Disney last year that it was going to be a fukkING disaster. But I relented. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 11:39AM out of Hartsfield-Jackson airport in ATL. We left the crib at 7AM. I was mentally prepared or so I thought. Here is my story:

The entire drive, my eldest with all the questions. NONSTOP talking. He was excited and full of excitement.
daddy, where is the airplane?
are we there yet?
Are we in New York?
Is this New York?
I'm tired of this car
Can we get out?
I wanna get on the airplane now.


Every 5 minutes. I was prepared though. The drive was uneventful. Kids were anxious but pretty chill. Once we got to GA, we stopped for bathroom breaks and snacks. The drive was only like an 2.5hrs from Alabama to the airport with the one stop and minor traffic Accounting for GA time, we got there around 10:10AM. A little late for my liking. Here's where the fun started.

Its Friday, its Father's Day Weekend. The airport was a bloodbath. Traffic into the airport was moving at a snail's pace. Probably spent about 10 minutes driving into the actual fukking airport. Our gate was on the North side so we tried to find parking in the North Zone. It was all full to capacity, no parking spaces available. Cool, we drive around again and head to the South Zone. The sign showed there were spots available. We waited in the traffic. We got near the parking section and the sign switched from green to red. It was now full. Okay, a little annoyed. We drove around again and went to the West zone. This was the furthest out. There were many spots there obviously because it was the furthest from the airport. We hit the parking garage, unsettled and begin the journey to the airport. Its already about 11AM at this point. I tell the wife we gotta book it. I'm carrying all the luggage, she got the kids. We hustling.

It was a long fukking journey. With the heat, that walk felt like


From the parking garage, we went up one flight of stairs to reach the tram. Had to wait for that mf to get there. My son like he gotta pee. I'm like you better hold that shyt:ufdup:

Tram arrived, both my sons began to panic and try to run away from the tram. They were afraid of the loud sound. It was all unfamiliar to them. I was prepared for that. We drag them onto the tram. My oldest calmed down once he realized it was cool. My youngest was clutching his mother for life crying and whining. Whatever. From the tram, we get off and walked through this long aisle, and we hit an escalator. My kids began to panic again. They had never been on one. My wife had to pick up my youngest son because he refused to step onto it. My oldest was doing this little 2 step trying while crying trying to time his steps to get on the escalator. I had to pick his ass up and place him on the steps.
Next we hit an elevator and these are the ones with the outside view. They panicked once it started moving and when I tried to show them the outside view, they panicked even more.:dead:

fukk it. We make it to the airport. It's about 11:15. Kids can only walk so fast. We hauling ass. Flying through JetBlu. Big fukking mistake. But it was cheap. $1100 roundtrip for the 4 of us.:yeshrug:

We get to the bag check in and the lady told us we're too late. She said you have to check in your bags 40 mins prior to departure. Flight was leaving at 11:39, plus we still had to go through TSA. She said there's no way you can make it in time. My wife almost broke down. :to:
I'm like is there anything else you can do? She was like let me get my manager. A tall, bald breh with a Carribean accent comes out and explains the sitaution to me. So I'm like when's the next flight to NY? He said tomorrow. My heart sunk.


We find a seat to rest. My son is upset because he wants to get on the airplane. We didn't want to drive all the way back home and have to redo this whole thing again. It was too much. It would be pointless to only to stay in NY for a partial day only to leave early Sunday morning. fukk no.
 

Hathaway

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PART 2:

We begin making the trip all the way back across the airport with 2 tired, hungry, crying and disappointed children. We get back to the tram after going through the elevator and escalator fiasco again. My wife gets a text that says your flight has been delayed until 12:00PM. It's like 11:35AM, So I tell her, maybe they'll let us bypass. I told her to hold tight and I was gonna run all the way back to the airport. My ass took off with the acceleration of a prime Vick.


I get back in like 5 minutes and ask her if we could make it. She gets her manager again. He tells me it would still be too late. I'm like :mjcry: okay. Then I hear somebody say "Hathaway is that you"? I turn and see one of my homegirls I went to college with. (Shout out Alabama A&M). She works at the airport. I'm like yooo wassup. We hug and she's like "you have really grown. Okay Muscles and chest"!


I'm tryna downplay that shyt and I'm like Naah that's just daddy weight:myman:
I explain my situation to her and she's like damn, I'm so sorry for you. It's all good. I head back and tell my wife. She's so disappointed. We hit the tram and get near the garage. My phone rings. I look at it and its my friend from the airport calling me via Instagram. She did some research and saw that there's another flight to NY leaving at 1:30PM. So I'm like :gucci: wtf you mean. They told us the next flight was tomorrow. She said our original flight was scheduled to arrive at LeGuardia airport in NY but there is one that's scheduled to arrive at JFK airport at 1:30PM. She said if you run back, you can check your bags in and get through TSA in time to make it. I tell my wife and she lights up.:gladbron:

So we go through all this shyt again. The tram, the escalator, the elevator. Kids are traumatized and exhausted by this point. We get back to the airport. It's a bit passed noon. We got plenty of time. Check her bag in and I look for the breh that told me there were no other flights to NY and ask why weren't we informed about the flight into JFK? HE says he was only looking for flights scheduled to arrive at LeGuardia. I look at that nikka like :childplease:

We get through the bag check. Now we gotta get through TSA. Kids were apprehensive going through the metal detectors and all that shyt. but FINALLY. We get to the gate around 12:30PM. I buy some snacks and drinks for the fam and we wait. Oh you thought this shyt was over? We get a text: "Flight has been delayed until 4pm." My nikka its barely 1PM. You gotta be fukkING kidding me. My oldest son still constantly bombarding me with questions and his attitude. Wouldn't sit down. Being all loud in front of these well-mannered white people :mjpls:
I gave him his tablet and he threw it on the ground talking bout "I don't want the tablet daddy, I want the airplane"! Almost snatched his lil ass up but I kept my composure and "gently" grabbed his shoulder and whispered some real shyt to him. Didn't hear anything else from him after that. Its 2pm and we get another text that the flight was delayed until 6. At this point, I look at my wife like this shyt aint gon work ma. :francis:
She hits her fam in NY and they tell us the weather is really bad and the news is saying its some tropical storm shyt hitting NY right now. Im like wtf is going:why:

So we waiting and I'm randomly looking up plane crashes and shyt cause this shyt feels like Final Destination. I found an article about the last commercial airliner to crash in the US was in 2009. I showed my wife and she look at me like


I ended up making an executive decision and I tell her we gotta cancel this shyt. She was upset but she agreed. Went and told the attentdant to pull the bag from the plane and we got our shyt and bounced. The kids were so upset so I decided to take them to Six Flags over Georgia. They had a blast and me and the wife smashed one of them THICK ass turkey legs :ohlawd:
 
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Afrodroid

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Sorry breh but didn't read any of that shyt

Ie9aARW.gif
 

The Prince of All Saiyans

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only been there once..

I was on my way to the Harrisburg coat outlet to be buy an irregular coat but it required a stop over in New York City


All I had to do was walk a few blocks from the port authority bus terminal to my train at penn station

Anyhow I must have looked at someone the wrong way because the next thing I knew.. I was running for my life

Next thing I knew.. the chuds came at me
 

Hathaway

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Why the fukk are your kids afraid of trains, escalators and elevators? Is this the first time they left the house? :what:
They've seen trains but never been on one or close to one. Them mfs are loud. And this was a sky tram.

Believe it or not, they never been on a escalator. We don't have one here in this small town where we live. And they've been on elevators but not one that was see through :russ:
 

Hathaway

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I hear you but c'mon. If your seed gets shook by moving stairs then you fukked up as a man.
I remembered being shook by escalators as a kid too after seeing a cartoon where somebody fell underneath one into the underworld or some shyt:heh:

So I understood the fear. Regular stairs be tripping nikkas up on the daily so I can imagine the apprehension of moving stairs
 
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