I need some advice friends, please (long distance relationship)

[TheDarceKnight]

nvmnd

 

[ProfessionallyTrill]

you're 29. Break it off via phone and live your life.

This nikka wastin time.

 

[Larry Lobster]

 

[KinksandCoils]

I've been with my girlfriend since 01/2011. I'm 29 and she's 24. I live in NC. In November, she left for a job in Texas. I love her more than anything, and she's my best friend (corny), and i supported her moving for work, and I never blamed her for leaving. But it's been very hard, I get out there every 6-8 weeks, and during the last trip out to Dallas (2 weeks ago), she mentioned a possible open relationship to help me get through it.

I thought I would wait, but I didn't. I started talking to a couple girls, and I feel horrible, but it felt really good to have someone, because I'm tired of being lonely. I live at the beach, there are gorgeous women everywhere, and I have no plans of moving out to Texas for at least a year, and even then, I'm terrified. I'd only be moving there for her. I have a great job, friends, family, and all kinds of stuff going for me here.

Should I break it off via phone, or wait until we see each other in June (she's coming here.)? I feel like I'll be okay, but she has no family support, and they're awful to her (one of the main reasons she also wanted to get away.) I just don't want my life on pause, and I ain't old, but I don't really want to spend the last year of my 20's getting laid on 5-6 weekends over the whole year. shyt, even just hugs and physical contact.

I'm hurtin real bad out here. Should I let it go, or just ask for time to think about things? Is this just me freaking out, and I should give it time? My biggest worry is that she'll be crushed without me. She's basically alone out there.

Sorry for the essay brehs.

EDIT: So aside from this 3+ years relationship, nothing I've ever been in has topped 6 months. I've mostly been a 2-4 month guy. Just a lot of short term things.

If you love her you will make it work. It sounds like your real problem is that your not getting enough tlc.

It's only your decision. If getting a little tlc from another woman is more important than her than you don't love her enough.

How long has she been gone?

 

[LA Fisher]

I've been with my girlfriend since 01/2011. I'm 29 and she's 24. I live in NC. In November, she left for a job in Texas. I love her more than anything, and she's my best friend (corny), and i supported her moving for work, and I never blamed her for leaving. But it's been very hard, I get out there every 6-8 weeks, and during the last trip out to Dallas (2 weeks ago), she mentioned a possible open relationship to help me get through it.

She will let you fukk other women and use it as an excuse to suck and fukk while you're gone. You're 29 breh, you too old for that shyt. A LD relationship is cute throughout college but yall too old for that.

 

[End Cruelty]

@White Mike where you at in NC? i'm getting nostalgic for wilmywood. i miss the beach lol.

If she brought up having an open relationship then why are you trying to break it off? If you feel like you cheated or you need time to soul seek, just call her up or skype and tell her straight what's on your mind. Do what you want, breh. Discussing it with her openly is the only option. Either that or man up and be a nikka with secrets. I've done both

I wouldn't wait until you saw her in person because she might not want to come back if you're just going to break it off. That would be a waste of her time. You aren't obligated to be with her. She won't be 'crushed' forever, breh. Life goes on and if the only friend she has can't be real with her then she's fukked anyway. It's lowkey selfish to think that she'll be lost without you. I'm not judging, btw.

outside of her, it sounds like you having a little bit of a quarter life crisis. What does it matter if this is the last year of your 20s? You aren't going to magically change into an entirely different person on your birthday.

 

[TheDarceKnight]

If you love her you will make it work. It sounds like your real problem is that your not getting enough tlc.

It's only your decision. If getting a little tlc from another woman is more important than her than you don't love her enough.

How long has she been gone?

She's been out there since November. We never lived together while she was here, but we spent 3-4 nights a week together. It's not a lack of love, i don't think. I just think it's so much to ask another person to move away from everything and risk so much to fly halfway across the country just for them. She hasn't asked me or put any pressure on me to move there, and I appreciate that, but I know deep down that the only way for us to have a future is for me to move. Her contract for the job there will last until 2016 at least. Probably 2017.

I know when she said open relationship that she only said it to make things easier on me. I've never cheated on anyone in my life, but the fact that I even feel the urge to talk to anyone else is making me feel like a piece of shyt.

 

[MAKAVELI25]

I've been with my girlfriend since 01/2011. I'm 29 and she's 24. I live in NC. In November, she left for a job in Texas. I love her more than anything, and she's my best friend (corny), and i supported her moving for work, and I never blamed her for leaving. But it's been very hard, I get out there every 6-8 weeks, and during the last trip out to Dallas (2 weeks ago), she mentioned a possible open relationship to help me get through it.

29 years old and still having rookie conondrums

 

[LA Fisher]

She's been out there since November. We never lived together while she was here, but we spent 3-4 nights a week together. It's not a lack of love, i don't think. I just think it's so much to ask another person to move away from everything and risk so much to fly halfway across the country just for them. She hasn't asked me or put any pressure on me to move there, and I appreciate that, but I know deep down that the only way for us to have a future is for me to move. Her contract for the job there will last until 2016 at least. Probably 2017.

I know when she said open relationship that she only said it to make things easier on me. I've never cheated on anyone in my life, but the fact that I even feel the urge to talk to anyone else is making me feel like a piece of shyt.

You let your woman dictate where you go dog?
She'll never truly respect you if you follow her
She'll know that she can go any and everywhere and you'll follow because you're soft as cotton
You better break up with her breh

 

[KinksandCoils]

She's been out there since November. We never lived together while she was here, but we spent 3-4 nights a week together. It's not a lack of love, i don't think. I just think it's so much to ask another person to move away from everything and risk so much to fly halfway across the country just for them. She hasn't asked me or put any pressure on me to move there, and I appreciate that, but I know deep down that the only way for us to have a future is for me to move. Her contract for the job there will last until 2016 at least. Probably 2017.

I know when she said open relationship that she only said it to make things easier on me. I've never cheated on anyone in my life, but the fact that I even feel the urge to talk to anyone else is making me feel like a piece of shyt.

She has only been gone since November....omg just let her go. If you claim that you love her that time apart is really nothing, seeing that you claim you see her every so often.

You shouldn't move away with her. The fact that you are considering letting her go after 5 mos shows y'all aren't strong enough.

Honestly she might feel the same as you. I can't see another woman being cool with an open relationship unless she was having difficulty with it too.

The situation sucks. I'm sorry

 

[TheDarceKnight]

@White Mike where you at in NC? i'm getting nostalgic for wilmywood. i miss the beach lol.

If she brought up having an open relationship then why are you trying to break it off? If you feel like you cheated or you need time to soul seek, just call her up or skype and tell her straight what's on your mind. Do what you want, breh. Discussing it with her openly is the only option. Either that or man up and be a nikka with secrets. I've done both

I wouldn't wait until you saw her in person because she might not want to come back if you're just going to break it off. That would be a waste of her time. You aren't obligated to be with her. She won't be 'crushed' forever, breh. Life goes on and if the only friend she can't be real with her then she's fukked anyway. It's lowkey selfish to think that she'll be lost without you. I'm not judging, btw.

outside of her, it sounds like you having a little bit of a quarter life crisis. What does it matter if this is the last year of your 20s? You aren't going to magically change into an entirely different person on your birthday.

I needed this. Thanks man. Where are you in NC? I'm in Wilmington. been out here on and off since 2005, but I grew up in Durham. Good point. She's really open minded, and maybe the best move is to just pump the brakes and wait a few days and see how I feel. The problem is that the one girl I talked to is a freak, man. She's a crossfit chick and a runner, and she sent me pics of her sex swing. She has nipple and clit piercings, and she's actually really fukking funny and charming. Face is okay, but her body is crazy.

My girlfriend was just like, 'Don't stay the night with them, use a condom, and don't tell me after." My biggest concern about an open relationship honestly would be the new girl. I don't wanna bring a new chick into anything complicated.

And I am having a bit of a quarter life crisis, I guess. Never heard it called that, but it feels that way.

 

[TheDarceKnight]

She has only been gone since November....omg just let her go. If you claim that you love her that time apart is really nothing, seeing that you claim you see her every so often.

You shouldn't move away with her. The fact that you are considering letting her go after 5 mos shows y'all aren't strong enough.

Honestly she might feel the same as you. I can't see another woman being cool with an open relationship unless she was having difficulty with it too.

The situation sucks. I'm sorry

Thank you. yeah i know it's not that long. And I feel like a bytch because i know there are soldiers overseas with fukking wives and kids that can't even talk that often, let alone visit. I think I'm just more hurt by the fact that she left than I realized. I think she chose her job over me, and I understand that, because everyone has to walk their own path. But even though I literally drove her out there, without any help from her awful family, and supported her, deep down I did think it would probably cause this thing to end at some point.

 

[TheDarceKnight]

29 years old and still having rookie conondrums

fukk yeah I got rookie problems man. I just want to be a good man and do the right thing. I've never had over a 6 month thing before, I've sort of been a serial short-term/casual fling kinda guy. So 3 years is the longest I've gone with anyone, by far. And I sure as shyt have never tried distance before.

 

[KinksandCoils]

Thank you. yeah i know it's not that long. And I feel like a bytch because i know there are soldiers overseas with fukking wives and kids that can't even talk that often, let alone visit. I think I'm just more hurt by the fact that she left than I realized. I think she chose her job over me, and I understand that, because everyone has to walk their own path. But even though I literally drove her out there, without any help from her awful family, and supported her, deep down I did think it would probably cause this thing to end at some point.

The situation sucks but based off of how you feel I don't see it getting any better. You better go before you end up more hurt. Why would she even apply to a job that far? If I had a loving man I would find a job in my area.
Think about that.
Or did the job scout her out?

 

[End Cruelty]

You shouldn't move away with her. The fact that you are considering letting her go after 5 mos shows y'all aren't strong enough.

This is not necessarily true. I have friends (multiple couples) that have lived apart for couple years and broken up that are now happily married. It may not be sign of weakness. It could just be the stress of being apart and having needs.

I needed this. Thanks man. Where are you in NC? I'm in Wilmington. been out here on and off since 2005, but I grew up in Durham. Good point. She's really open minded, and maybe the best move is to just pump the brakes and wait a few days and see how I feel. The problem is that the one girl I talked to is a freak, man. She's a crossfit chick and a runner, and she sent me pics of her sex swing. She has nipple and clit piercings, and she's actually really fukking funny and charming. Face is okay, but her body is crazy.

My girlfriend was just like, 'Don't stay the night with them, use a condom, and don't tell me after." My biggest concern about an open relationship honestly would be the new girl. I don't wanna bring a new chick into anything complicated.

And I am having a bit of a quarter life crisis, I guess. Never heard it called that, but it feels that way.

sounds like you got a good deal going. just be safe and don't try to deceive anyone. that doesn't mean you have to tell every girl you get it on with that you have a LDR.

i'm not in NC anymore but I used to live right off market and 16th. I used to stumble home drunk many a time. My spots were the greenlight, costello's (), and barbary coast. maaan, i miss that town. I got kicked out of the copper penny because me and my homie were yelling at the TV because the steelers losing. i used to get loaded with coworkers at city limits, too. that bar was with the hiphop/country/80s rock mix.