Stop comparing ourselves to White people when it comes to marriage.

[ShaneTheRogue]

One of the main things Blacks want to bring up to bring ourselves down is our marriage rates as compared to other races, particularly White folks. But the amount of White Men I encounter that are on their 2nd, 3rd, 4th+ marriage compared to Black men is astronomical. Doesn't constantly taking vows to love only one person no matter what, water the whole institution of marriage down?

I know, I know "marriage is a great wealth building tool blah blah" but how you gonna build wealth when you constantly starting over fresh with new partners?

The statistics don't tell the whole story, which is why y'all look particularly goofy quoting them to shyt on Black Wo/Men.

A White man could be married for 30 collective years but that time may be spread between like 4 women...one of which they married twice.

Compared to the average Black man that might not marry his "ole lady" until he been with her for like a decade+.

Yeah most Black kids are born out of wedlock...ok and? Just because your parents are married that doesn't guarantee that they'll do right by you or won't eventually abandon you. Just like your unmarried parents can a great team.

White relationships may look more "legit" on a superficial level(marriage) but Black relationships are more legit when it comes to what matters...raising a family. Black dad's are highly likely to not only live with, but actively parent our children. To assume otherwise because we're unmarried is foolishness.

Debunking the most pervasive myth about black fatherhood

Vox is a general interest news site for the 21st century. Its mission: to help everyone understand our complicated world, so that we can all help shape it. In text, video and audio, our reporters explain politics, policy, world affairs, technology, culture, science, the climate crisis, money...

www.vox.com

But as Josh Levs pointed out in his new book All In, 2.5 million of 4.2 million black fathers — or about 59.5 percent — live with their children. Levs's numbers suggest that it's not true, as the CDC figures suggests, that 71.5 percent of black dads are absent from their homes — but rather that many of them are simply unmarried.

And when black fathers do live with their children, they're just as, if not more, likely to be involved in their kids' everyday lives. Blow cited CDC data that showed black fathers are more likely than their white and Hispanic counterparts to feed, eat with, bathe, diaper, dress, play with, and read to their children on a daily basis.

 

[Sway]

“Blacks”

 

[TRUEST]

Good point op

 

[ShaneTheRogue]

“Blacks”

Yes "Blacks" how you could read my post and come to the conclusion that it on some funny style shyt if baffling.

What do you think of the actual content of the post?

 

[Sway]

Yes "Blacks" how you could read my post and come to the conclusion that it on some funny style shyt if baffling.

What do you think of the actual content of the post?

Alright then.

 

[Geek Nasty]

That doesnt change the fact that too many people are playing house. Not willing to make the commitment of marriage but willing to have children, cohabitate, share ownership of property, etc.

Yet somehow theyre thinking in the back of their minds theyve got an easy escape clause because they didn't get tied down in a marriage.

 

[Seoul Gleou]

european cacs in Scandinavia abandoned marriage decades ago. they just have common law/co-parenting now

but you wont see that in the news here

 

[LadyJ2]

Baby daddy babble

About 40% of people who divorce remarry. And that percentage drops way down for 3rd marriages.

Very few people are married more than twice. Celebrities and wealthy people are not the average.

If 60% of black men live with their children and are pooling resources with the mother to optimize care and attention for the child that is great. So we should see this reflected in things like CHILD satisfaction and happiness - low rates of depression, obesity, etc. But we aren’t seeing this in the black community in fact the data points towards black children having increasingly high rates of depression, suicide, obesity, and low educational attainment.

Maybe the problem is the adults are selfish and holding out on marriage is one of the signs of that selfishness.

 

[ShaneTheRogue]

That doesnt change the fact that too many people are playing house. Not willing to make the commitment of marriage but willing to have children, cohabitate, share ownership of property, etc.

Yet somehow theyre thinking in the back of their minds theyve got an easy escape clause because they didn't get tied down in a marriage.

So? What are the consequences? They can easily "escape" if they're married too. Marriage isn't a magical forcefield that stops you from abandoning your responsibilities.

Also I posted a link that says Black men parent their kids more than White and Hispanic men despite being significantly less likely to get married so what do you mean?

 

[ShaneTheRogue]

Baby daddy babble

About 40% of people who divorce remarry. And that percentage drops way down for 3rd marriages.

Very few people are married more than twice. Celebrities and wealthy people are not the average.

If 60% of black men live with their children and are pooling resources with the mother to optimize care and attention for the child that is great. So we should see this reflected in things like CHILD satisfaction and happiness - low rates of depression, obesity, etc. But we aren’t seeing this in the black community in fact the data points towards black children having increasingly high rates of depression, suicide, obesity, and low educational attainment.

Maybe the problem is the adults are selfish and holding out on marriage is one of the signs of that selfishness.

That's a lot of big talk for someone who didn't post a link, study, paper or nothing to back up their argument.

Also are you implying that if all else is equal that if their parents were married Black children wouldn't be depressed or fat? Does marriage burn calories?

We have other factors that lead to the issues you named. What's "shellfish" is how some of us would rather look the part to keep up appearances with White folks, then to actual look past the superficial. People would really rather be unhappily married so White folks won't tease them. Unbelievable.

 

[Geek Nasty]

So? What are the consequences? They can easily "escape" if they're married too. Marriage isn't a magical forcefield that stops you from abandoning your responsibilities.

Also I posted a link that says Black men parent their kids more than White and Hispanic men despite being significantly less likely to get married so what do you mean?

If youre not willing to make the mental acknowledgement that youre entering into a lifetime commitment by having kids, cosigning mortgages, thats going to affect how you treat your relationship.

I’m not talking about black/white I’m talking about relationships in general. A marriage is more stable than cohabitation even with modern fukkery. And thats because both sides are acknowledging what theyre getting into.

 

[Diondon]

We can't afford multiple failed marriages
shyt CS bad enough

 

[Jekyll]

Baby daddy babble

About 40% of people who divorce remarry. And that percentage drops way down for 3rd marriages.

Very few people are married more than twice. Celebrities and wealthy people are not the average.

If 60% of black men live with their children and are pooling resources with the mother to optimize care and attention for the child that is great. So we should see this reflected in things like CHILD satisfaction and happiness - low rates of depression, obesity, etc. But we aren’t seeing this in the black community in fact the data points towards black children having increasingly high rates of depression, suicide, obesity, and low educational attainment.

Maybe the problem is the adults are selfish and holding out on marriage is one of the signs of that selfishness.

Baby Daddy babble fr. shyt that shyt up OP lol

 

[get these nets]

OP

Why not just title the thread "Copping pleas 101"?

 

[ShaneTheRogue]

If youre not willing to make the mental acknowledgement that youre entering into a lifetime commitment by having kids, cosigning mortgages, thats going to affect how you treat your relationship.

I’m not talking about black/white I’m talking about relationships in general. A marriage is more stable than cohabitation even with modern fukkery. And thats because both sides are acknowledging what theyre getting into.

This is simply speculation. An opinion. I posted actual evidence to back up my claims. Not just feelings.

And what does marriage even mean if you can just call and start over whenever shyt get hard? Y'all make it into this big honorable thing. So wouldn't be more mature and responsible to wait to get married? Folks know each other for 6 months, tie the knot, and serving papers a year later. What exactly did they prove?

The best things my parents did for not only themselves but my sister and I was split up. Fighting like cats and dogs every week.

But now that they aren't together they haven't argued since. Having yelled at one another since. Both active in all their kids lives. Your telling me it would of been more mature to try to force a marriage and raise kids in a fukked up environment? That doesn't make sense.