3 Black Adoptees on Racial Identity After Growing Up in White Homes

[Raava]

After the thread about the white father sticking up for his daughter, I thought this would be an interesting read.


http://www.theroot.com/articles/cul...peak_about_growing_up_with_white_parents.html

Raised by white parents in a mostly white community, Goller-Sojourner had an identity that was completely assimilated. “One of the interesting things from when I was younger is when you grow up with white parents, white neighborhood, white church, your default identity is a white kid. Blackness comes later,” he said, adding, “People always reminded me I was black.”

“If you’re going to adopt kids, it’s the white parents’ obligation to shepherd them in same-race maturation,” he said. “When you have a transracial family, mixed-race family, you’re going outside the normal. Somebody has to be uncomfortable and it shouldn’t be the child. ... Your child should not be your first black friend. That’s the bottom line. If you don’t know no black people, why are you trying to bring one to your home?”

Her parents tried to raise her in a “colorblind” environment, which she attributes to the idea that some white parents hold that their whiteness can protect their children from the harm of racism.
“It’s the idea that you can put this veil around [the child], this veil of white privilege,” she said.

“My parents honestly thought in their hearts they could raise us in an environment where you don’t see color, and unfortunately that’s just not possible,” said Noerdlinger.
See Also

• Ben & Jerry’s Founders Support #BlackLivesMatter in a Bold Display of Solidarity
• 3 1/2 Minutes: How Gun Culture, Fear and Racial Bias Killed Jordan Davis
• 3 Black Adoptees on Racial Identity After Growing Up in White Homes
• One Night in Miami Brings the Meeting of Ali, Malcolm, Sam Cooke and Jim Brown to Life
• Woman Who Married Herself Says ‘Wedding’ Was About Self-Love
• Larry Wilmore’s The Nightly Show Is the Black Talk Show We’ve Been Waiting For

Noerdlinger wasn’t exposed to other people of color until she was in her 20s and joined a black women’s collective at Mills College. This absence of black people and culture led to an identity crisis so severe, she moved to Africa hoping to find herself.

Me personally, I am for any child being taken out of the system and raised in a loving, stable enviornment. However if you adopt a child from a different race it is your duty to take up the extra work to cultivate their racial identity. Its a delicate situation.

 

[No Sleep]

I'll get in on this in a few.

 

[Hagendas]

hmmm

 

[Larry Lobster]

its a no win situation for the black kid.

 

[Medicate]

After the thread about the white father sticking up for his daughter, I thought this would be an interesting read.


http://www.theroot.com/articles/cul...peak_about_growing_up_with_white_parents.html










Me personally, I am for any child being taken out of the system and raised in a loving, stable enviornment. However if you adopt a child from a different race it is your duty to take up the extra work to cultivate their racial identity. Its a delicate situation.

Its actually impossible......

 

[LurkMoar]

its a no win situation for the black kid.

your right better to be an orphan

 

[Matt504]

The perfect Black, totally assimilated with no racial identity

 

[iBrowse]

The second quote pretty much sums up my thoughts on it:

“If you’re going to adopt kids, it’s the white parents’ obligation to shepherd them in same-race maturation,” he said. “When you have a transracial family, mixed-race family, you’re going outside the normal. Somebody has to be uncomfortable and it shouldn’t be the child. ... Your child should not be your first black friend. That’s the bottom line. If you don’t know no black people, why are you trying to bring one to your home?”

 

[RTF]

This is a big problem but a secondary problem. AT least they have a form of love but the adoptee's need to understand exactly what they're getting into.

If you're a millionaire I guess this is less of an issue as those children grow up in a bubble anyway. But a middle class family? It's open season on that child and their adopted parents won't know how to react which could drive a wedge in the relationship.

End up like crazy eyes off Orange is the new Black

 

[Raava]

Its actually impossible......

I think it's completely possible to expose them to others of their race, teach them their history or involve them with programs, organizations that will. I think it's completely possible to teach them about their culture and not just ignore it while hoping everyone else around them will too.

But that's a lot of effort and will probably be uncomfotable for the parent

 

[Medicate]

your right better to be an orphan

It sure is, until they can find you a Black family.....

 

[↓R↑LYB]

The bigger problem is that black people don't want to adopt black children.

 

[froggle]

missing out on red koolaid

 

[Medicate]

I think it's completely possible to expose them to others of their race, teach them their history or involve them with programs, organizations that will. I think it's completely possible to teacher them about their culture and not just ignore it while hoping everyone else around them will too.

But that's a lot of effort and will probably be uncomfotable for the parent

So you believe non black parents can do that for a Black child(ren)?

Believe me there's a reason for that "Uncomfortability"...which makes this "Impossible" imo

 

[Matt504]

missing out on red koolaid

Diversity