35 year old Black woman wonders why she and her desirable friends are still single.

[lib123]

It costs what it costs

I paid my simp tax when I was young and had to learn from young man mistakes. My wife is a good woman and is metal gear solid. If I play defense and keep her at arm's length because of my past simp mistakes and heartbreaks from getting played, that's on me.

But the main thing I had to learn was to pick the right woman. The idea isn't to change the game, it's to pick the right person to play it with. There's no better feeling than the dance of man and woman being down for each other selling out with enthusiasm making sure each other are good and taken care of.

Life is blood sport and relationships are no different. You're going to have some wounds but you can also win. You don't get anything being too scared to give effort.

The effort spent complaining about the last man could be spent more productively healing and getting you ready for the next one.

You raise good points. Lowkey it seems like a lot of women that we hear complaining are struggling to adapt to aging out of their prime. It’s like a dude who made $500K a year when he was 23 and now he’s making $75K a year at 35 complaining about not being able to pull the same quality of women.

 

[Bryan Danielson]

Nothing. You clicked on the tiktok and helped her get motion. She'll use her view and follower counts to email brands so she can get paid as an influencer. This kind of thread is made daily if not every other day. A nobody speaking at a camera hoping enough people will click so they can quit their job and become full time socialites.

Every day on the internet is like standing in line at a gas station where most people there are trying to get a lottery ticket.

got damn…. that’s one of the most sound and eloquently written post I’ve seen this year

 

[SuaveyBoi115]

a good partner to them is a guy that is 6 foot and above, 6 pack, 100k a year, went to a good college, texts them good morning
sends them money for lunch EVERYDAY, drives a benz with a v8 or a hellcat, has tons of vacation time and will buy these vacations...
should i continue?

To add on…. Cut off all their other women while remaining only “loyal” to them

 

[ALonelyDad]

She's a decent looking woman, she can get a good man if she wants too but often times these people complaining online have crazy standards. The internet has ruined their perspective on real life.

 

[Vodun]

a nikka like me don't even care anymore

I just take a flight over to Colombia when I'm bored

shyt me thailand

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Take it as a blessing in disguise breh.

I ran around with a gorgeous(looks kinda like Janelle Monae) married woman who told me during pillowtalk one time "Jaded, I can't even get this nikka to cheat on me!"

I asked her why she even married dude, she came back with; she was a single mother of two young kids, her bd was in and out on some knucklehead ish with a whole bunch of other bms.

The women in her life told her this is a good guy who loves her and wants to take care of her and her kids, this is what she should want, etc.

Still she ended up gripped up underneath me.

A person can lie to themselves for only so long, before their truth outs them.

The truth is, you aren't what SHE wants.

Can you explain what you mean? In relation to the woman in your story, mine, and other brehs.

 

[Brandsdale]

 

[BlackJesus]

She’s (failed) divestor coded

 

[klientel]

She’s very attractive. I bet she gets dudes trying to talk to her everyday. I dunno why she’s trying to make it seem like she can’t meet anyone.

She’s probably ignored her future husband like a dozen times in passing.

 

[Eternally Jaded]

Can you explain what you mean? In relation to the woman in your story, mine, and other brehs.

The woman I dealt with thought the guy she married should be what she wanted, and those who she holds in high esteem felt this was best for her and her kids, and so she lied to herself and married dude, because it's what she SHOULD want.

But she didn't want him, not really.

And so she cheated on him with me(and other dudes) because the juxtaposition of the idealized happy ending vs the reality of it couldn't reconcile for her.

As for you, if she wanted you, she'd be with you.

It's not what people say or profess, it's what they do that shows you where their hearts lie.

Matthew 6:21 says "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".

Ie, The verse suggests that by observing where someone invests their time, energy, and resources, you can discern what truly matters to them.

That simple.

 

[lib123]

I hate when women post shyt like this. There are plenty of men outchea that would be in a committed relationship with her but I can already tell she wants a man that every women wants looks, height, money and status all rolled in one.

 

[lib123]

But that means the child is the problem. We don’t even know who her bd is or what her standard was. If he was a bum…everyone you fukk isn’t who you would date, there are different standards for that. Just as I know every chick we fukk isn’t gf/wife material. She could have gotten pregnant by a bum or six cert nicca, we have no idea.

But the end result is that now that she’s in her mid 30s looking for a successful, serious man…none of them are interested. Because the child is the problem. Successful men in their 30s who are seriously looking to date are NOT interested in raising another man’s child. Overall. There are exceptions (for instance if he’s a single dad) but I’d say 70%+ of successful men won’t do that shyt.

Lol probability wise, who do you think is more likely the BD?

 

[lib123]

But this gap been like this for years and a lot relationships still strives

I’ve known married couples where a woman makes 40,50k more than her husband and they been happy for decades….

This isn’t a case where u have for example a lawyer wife making $120,000 a year and her boyfriend/husband isn’t working and not even contributing to pay a electric bill

I see no problem with a woman making $120,000 a year and her husband making $60,000 a year and he still contributes to the household

Social media and a lot of people online don’t know the meaning of love and working as one together

That's a big gap bro. The odds of both being cool with that gap over an extended period seem slim. The man probably needs to make at least 70% of what the woman does to avoid a mother-son dynamic eventually forming.

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

The woman I dealt with thought the guy she married should be what she wanted, and those who she holds in high esteem felt this was best for her and her kids, and so she lied to herself and married dude, because it's what she SHOULD want.

But she didn't want him, not really.

And so she cheated on him with me(and other dudes) because the juxtaposition of the idealized happy ending vs the reality of it couldn't reconcile for her.

As for you, if she wanted you, she'd be with you.

It's not what people say or profess, it's what they do that shows you where their hearts lie.

Matthew 6:21 says "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".

Ie, The verse suggests that by observing where someone invests their time, energy, and resources, you can discern what truly matters to them.

That simple.

"Actions speak louder than words" simple as that.....always has been.

 

[GreenGhxst]

Shorty thought she was too good so she had to get humbled by a dude who not with her to raise his seed by herself. She still can't see that...

Her selection skills may not be the best

She may be attracted to men who use and abuse and she hasn't changed that