5'5 High School Point Guard Baptizes Opposing Team

[General Mills]

Yeah I heard he's Loop's nephew, has his uncles bounce, that's for sure. Word is he was at EBC three summers ago as a tween, and Fat Joe was calling him Don CartegYamma.

Showed up at halftime, threw on some hammy-down BK Diamacells and went to work, 36/8/.5/4, half an assist for the oop he threw himself off the backboard. He was going up against Flapjack Johnson from the BX, and his son, Syll Vudoller. He crossed daddy up above the key, and then hit Syll with the UT-SA 3 Step... and OLD old school move, that Loop invented during a summer-semester for the now-roadrunners... eventually some chicago transplant ripped it off and tried to make it live for some school in El Paso -- he hit Syll with the 3-step, BURNED HIM and left him splayed out on the asphalt, and flipped a Gervin finger roll up over the hoop for a smooth 2. Syll was so embarrassed he didn't even bother getting up off the court. Laid there for the entire 3rd quarter, until his half brother Spatch came and scraped him off the asphalt. Kid threw his jersey out right there on the spot, never played again. I heard he got with Lolo Surp's sister, Maple, and has a whole stack of kids. He drives 7 train now, I think, which is a good gig, because he was really always more of a conductor, never really a playmaker, yanno?

Anyway, Yung Melvin, aka Don CartegYamma, aka Melvin Shmack aka Aer Lingus to ya girl... he's supposed to be doin big things. I heard Pitino was interested, but Marble Fists doesn't trust him from some beef back in Providence in 80's. Said Pitino lost a slap boxing match for $500 cash, welched, and skipped town. I dunno, can't call it, man. But that's why my man Chocktaw Jones told me. And Chock ain't one to just chop it up, you know what I mean? Either way, that's a story for another time.

y'all nikkas mane

 

[Jesus Is Lord]

Welcome back gramps.....I was starting to think you finally met your match out there. Did 100 knuckle pushups on sunflower seeds in your honor.

Found no matches in my age group

I hope you was real enough to eat those seeds after you finished those ups. For a complete workout scatter seeds, rice (white, so the starch can seep into your knuckles to make your punches harder) and small screws

 

[feelosofer]

The next Muggsy Bogues @Buggsy Mogues

 

[Ronnie Lott]

I had a homie that was like 5'6" in the 8th grade and could dunk. shyt didn't make no damn sense.

 

[((ReFleXioN)) EteRNaL]

Found no matches in my age group

I hope you was real enough to eat those seeds after you finished those ups. For a complete workout scatter seeds, rice (white, so the starch can seep into your knuckles to make your punches harder) and small screws

 

[Xerces]

I would have blocked that crap

 

[((ReFleXioN)) EteRNaL]

everybody keeps talking about the defenders but they jumped where they figured dude would be at. you see a 5'5 dude going up you aint expecting him to go any higher than rim level much less throw the shyt down with authority. look at dude underneath the basket....he swatted at the bottom of the net

 

[Nature Boy Ric Flair]

the fukk are they feeding these kids man:FloydWTF:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[The Coochie Assassin]

I'm 5'8 and can hang on the rim easy

but actually dunking the biggest thing for me is keeping the ball in my hand...lil dude gotta have some big hands

 

[I.V.]

Nah Marble Fists got his $500 from Rick, the beef came from Marble losing his starting spot to Billy Donnovan over that slap boxing match. Marvel and Chock had beef because Marble and Walter Berry played one on one and Marble won, so he took Walter's red white and blue Spalding high tops and roofed them.....those turned out to be Chock's pops kicks who died from alopecia and pus build up in his navel from a fight with Connie Hawkins right hand man, Triceps Tony who one beat Lou Ferrigno in a dips contest by the Space Needle.

You heard about Walter's Kicks getting top-shelf'd? That was supposed to be a hood secret.

The crazy thing about Marble Fists, is that he wasn't even the realest baller in the family. His SISTER Zaireeesha was 6'3 with handles. She looked like Richard Dumas with braids, but her jimmy was

She used to hustle cats out at westside park with her brother Conkeestador Spane, that's where White Men Can't Jump stole the whole idea from. Conkeestador used to play a game with his boy Ice-C (he used to say tea is for p*ssies), they'd brick a few shots, then Ice would pull up with a balky calf. Spane would look around, say we'll pick up whoever... let's play for some cash... and when they pointed to the girthy chick in the 8 ball jacket... he would start beggin for mercy

Zaireesha: Who me?
Other guys: Yeah!
Conk: Huldup
Other guys: You said it anybody

Zaireesha: Aigh, ballup

Three she'd check the ball, kick it to Conk, then post up and start throwin that booty at the defender. She was like a 6'3 Olajuwon with Duckworth's thighs Up n' unders, baby hooks, straight up bully drop steps. Homegirl kept a big mac in her backpocket, every time she was in the post, you were getting special sauce splashed in your grill. shyt was unfair, b! Uncouth! But you couldn't tell Queen Z nothin. She'd hit you for 25/12/3, and then ask you if you liked big girls. "Not anymore, shyt" People always talk about how reggie used to lose to Cheryl in one-on-one, but that was only until middle school. Queen Z was still beasting on Conk as recently as last summer. She was at the Rick James memorial tourney, wearing a pair of stolen birkenstocks and some lululemon pants that were holding on for dear life, and she gave Conk 20 in the first half, before heading out to the laundromat to move her clothes over to the dryer. Conk swiched Micky Bean from boston onto her in the second quarter, and when he fouled out quick, and then asked to go with her to the laundry, she said "I don't mix lights and darks." and just bounced. He was crushed. He hasn't been the same since, which is too bad, because by boston baked cats thought he was the next Cousy. But i can't call it...