A. Seales:I want to be with a brotha but a lot of you would rather be by yourselves. Why not commit?

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In finding the right man women need to understand that they choose the men/ man. I've heard it form older men that are married and even pimp nikkas that say the same. Pimps never say I choose all the women when I was pimiping no they say women choose up on them. This basic level stuff that women as well as men need to know. Most the time even in the animal kingdom the women chooses. All the ladies have to realize they have power.

In my observation its 3 types of women. Those who choose the man/men and act accordingly. These women are very careful in vetting a man and will take responsibility for their choice. Then you have the women that choose but pretend like they don't. I see these women online and offline. These are the smart women say there aren't any good men or its to few good men . They also claim its a lot of bad men going around and getting numerous women pregnant and abandoning them. Once thing that they leave out obcourse is that these women chose the men/man. Men notice that also when talking with women all the thing they leave out. Women try to pretend that they are actors with no agency. this really piss men off. The third the type of women are the ones that are they clueless. These women are clueless about the power they process. Normally these are the young women. Young women seem to get caught early these day. Unfortunately the ones that know their power are few and far in between. These women are usually the ones men consider good women most of these women are very respectful with there power. These two groups make up the bulk of women. Most these women in the other two groups don't understand their power until there're 40s which ironically they are beyond they fertile years.

The really sad part is the women that know the game don't pass it down like they used to or back in the 60/70s. Nobody is really taking the young girls when they are 13/14/15 about there power...or their power to choose. Here is what bothers me off nobody tells the boys cause a lot of women don't want to admit to men that they have the power to choose. I believe men or the boy coming up would alter how they look at women and how receptive they would be as well which just make us operate differently.

PART 2 : Self examination women are always protected from self examination. Many women look in the mirror and discuss reality but women are able to bend reality to what fantasy they have in there head. Men for the most part don't get to do that. Men at an early age try to bent reality get the crap bet out of them of they try to bend reality. Especially if you had a father or uncles they shyt wasn't going down in the 80s. Women are protected from that. Women struggle with self examination which is the most important of picking a man or women in my opinion. To tha own self be true !. Before a women sets out to find a man you need to set a course find out who you are good bad and ugly.

Women also need to understand that just cause you choose a man doesn't mean he has to like or choose you back. Many women believe they have willy wonka golden tickets between they legs . Women tend to forget men have to like everything else around the vagina. Women have to be what a man wants just like he has to be what you want. Its a two street. A man has to know himself to pick the right women . Men need to focus on purpose in life cause women as some of you may know is really backwards . Most men are going to deal with an anit shyt women more often than not . A lot of women need to realize or want admit to themselves they may not be a good fit for the man they like or the man that they fantasy about . That's is were self examination comes in. Women are allowed to choose and judge which is an awesome reasonability. Even women will pretend like they don't judge or like they don't choose .See women in conversation you have to pin them down about what is a good man and get them to talk about there choices ...or what kind of man do they choose. Women will have a list to what she believe a good man is that's one part of the battle the other is do you have enough qualities to attracts that guy that you have chosen. Are you standards higher for that man than for yourself? It a lot of women that spend damn near a life times chasing a man/men to get them to conform to the reality or lack thereof in there're head which most of the time it anit reality, or worse they get pregnant by some dude that they have chased down and that doesn't turn out right which this scenario happened more than what it should . Too many women don't want do is self examination and I mean real self examination not make up weave and but implants ...im talking real self examination.
 

PhillyzFinest

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Bottom line women (like my soon to be BUSHED ex-fiance) are high on expectations and LOW on value.

You can't be high expectations and want a man to do EVERYTHING that helps to facilitate her peace of mind and you have nothing of value that is going to literally make his life better.

Think about all the shyt that the average woman wants her man to do; HAVE the requisite credentials AND give access to your hard earned resources and leave them at her disposal... while also having empathy, being romantic, taking initiative to be creative, pay for dates, act chivalrous, communicate, pivot to her varying degrees of emotions (emotional availability) AND be faithful... just turn off the response to every single woman you are NATURALLY attracted to for the rest of your entire life. :stopitslime:

ALL FOR WHAT EXACTLY?

For her happiness and peace of mind, of course. Because a happy wife = happy life.

EXCEPT it does not. You learn the reality that women like this aren't often ever pleased. Many of them will always want more, they will always complain, they will always push and prod and nag.

When's the last time your wife/fiance/serious gf went out of her way to take initiative to DO something for you that did not necessarily benefit her? If it's been longer than a month, she's one of THOSE women.
 

PhillyzFinest

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Does she have postpartum? The hormones tend to change drastically after you have a baby, it takes a little while for them to readjust. I mean have you talked to her about it?

Of course. And wouldn't you know it? She says she is depressed. Because of course she would be.

If she were normally an easy going, low expectation not nagging woman during regular times she'd get the benefit of the doubt. But she has been difficult for a long ass time and unfortunately she never deposited any good will in the boyfriend bank account. Now she wants to make a withdraw of patience and empathy and I don't have it for her.
 

Critical Distance

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:russ:Ya'll outchea takin the gloves off.

U do raise a point about marriage as an institute being attacked or denigrated in poor minority communities when it could serve as a legitimate while the wealthy ALWAYS get married...I don't know how blks don't see how the elite are brainwashing them against it while reserving the privilege for themselves...


But u ain't have to go there:mjlol:
(Edit: Somebody was like "nikka I can't cut the PS4 in half and take it!!!" And I was so hurt.:deadmanny:)

:comeon:

Keep it funky, women are not trying to marry to "pool resources" they're trying to marry up. That's why people with similar incomes marrying is a rarity.

:sas2:
 

BlaqkSpliffin

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The clear point I'm making is that there are more women that want to be married than there are men, especially in the Black community.
That is undeniable.
So, what you're saying is absolutely valueless.
There are many, many, many Black women who want to get married, date men in the appropriate groups, and get nothing out of it.
I'm gonna say what I've been saying....Women don't get to talk about the evils of marriage, how oppressive it is, how men offer no real value to their lives and how they're independent & don't need a man and then complain about men not wanting to be in relationships or get married. That's not how this works. We take our cues from what women say and what our elders tell us. Or elders are telling us marriage was trash and our female peers are telling us marriage is trash and alot of our community never saw healthy loving relationships growing up so what do you think men are gonna do. Combine that with the fact we attain financial maturity later in life largely due to systemic reasons, when we do attain this maturity and freedom we want to enjoy it and explore. You can't tell BM they ain't shyt, marriage ain't shyt, introduce a culture that promotes casual sexual encounters with no real effort or requirements and then complain that men don't want to engage in life long partnerships with ONE woman. A partnership that is sanctioned by the state no less. Women fukked the game up and are complaining about it now. It is what it is.:yeshrug:
 

panopticon

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This is very true. I've also observed just at my son's school(which is in a upper middle class area) that a vast majority of "stable" married black couples tend to be older. I observed this not just out where I'm living now, but in other places I've lived too. In other words, it seems like a lot of black men and women that are in the financial position to marry, don't get to that point until their thirties, which means many of them are getting married and having kids in their thirties as opposed to their white counterparts. This isn't the standard for every black married couple that has "means" but it's definitely something I've observed--I almost feel weird, because while a lot of the white women are around my age(at school functions), the black women tend to be older than me with younger children, which indicates a later start for us, as opposed to whites who seem to meet these markers a little earlier and in much greater numbers.

What that indicates to me is that a lot of us do want to get married, but it takes a little longer to get there, when we're trying to be "stable" first before making that leap. I do think that if we changed the economical situation so that more people were able to meet these markers(especially BM and BW) we would see a greater number of BM and BW marrying, but as it stands now, the ones that are in the position to do so, do get married, just later on. The ones that aren't in the position, and likely won't, either don't get married at all, or get married but struggle.
Great post, dap + rep :salute:
 

CarmelBarbie

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Of course. And wouldn't you know it? She says she is depressed. Because of course she would be.

If she were normally an easy going, low expectation not nagging woman during regular times she'd get the benefit of the doubt. But she has been difficult for a long ass time and unfortunately she never deposited any good will in the boyfriend bank account. Now she wants to make a withdraw of patience and empathy and I don't have it for her.

So I have to ask the common sense question: why are you with this woman? If this has been an ongoing issue, I don't understand.... Was she exhibiting these behaviors before the baby and the engagement? Yall need to do this: 7 Day Intimacy Challenge | HuffPost. A newborn baby can stress an already difficult relationship, you two probably need to rekindle the flames, and with the help of counseling, maybe you can address some of the other issues you've pointed out(such as her not helping out around the house, etc).
 

PhillyzFinest

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So I have to ask the common sense question: why are you with this woman? If this has been an ongoing issue, I don't understand.... Was she exhibiting these behaviors before the baby and the engagement? Yall need to do this: 7 Day Intimacy Challenge | HuffPost. A newborn baby can stress an already difficult relationship, you two probably need to rekindle the flames, and with the help of counseling, maybe you can address some of the other issues you've pointed out(such as her not helping out around the house, etc).

I was with her for the sake of the kids. Thought that if the money was right and the situations were good, I could get the best out of her.

Reality: I didn't know I was a beta simp. Which I've been for years. I basically never put my foot down and gave her way too many chances to shyt on me.

I had a tremendous fear of being a single dad, just didn't want my daughter (now daughters) to grow up in a single parent household situation. I grew up like that, just had a bad effect on me, so I didn't want that for my kids.

Thanks for the suggestions @CarmelBarbie ... I'll give them a shot and see what's what.
 
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I’m personally MGTOW who chooses to deal with women hear and there but im happy with my life the way it is .
 
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