Adventures In The Army

[Ziggiy]

Dang @Ziggiy do any of them marry the juicy girls? Or prostitutes in general? Sometimes when I go on base, some of the spouses be looking funny in the light...

Some of them do. Nobody I know first hand. Mostly they just waste time and money on them


My homie Fresh Prince Fronter married a Legit Korean Chick (he had just turned 20. She was 27) and brought her back to the states with him. They're still married too

 

[twhatever]

in

 

[James Gordon]

I am enjoyin these stories thank you for your service

 

[42 Monks]

Threads like this are EXACTLY why I dodged pictures 24/7 and took my uniform off as soon as possible after work

 

[RoyalQ]

men in uniform

why are there bases in Korea? is there trouble there?

 

[Ziggiy]

men in uniform

why are there bases in Korea? is there trouble there?

The Korean War never "ended" it's at a truce.

 

[6ixSigma]

So I got promoted to Sergeant while I was deployed to Afghanistan and was set to go to a new unit when I made it back to the states. So my first day at the unit I’m introducing myself to everybody and whatnot but since everybody had things to do they were off doing their duties while I was filling out paperwork.

While I’m filling out some papers this white chick comes up and introduces her-self to me. (She had the rank of private). Then immediately she sits down and continues to talk about all kinds of shyt specifically how she has a black baby daddy and 2 mixed kids (yal know where this was going). As we are talking I bullshyt you not like 4 black soldiers were standing maybe 10 feet behind her as she was facing me talking with a sign saying “DON’T DO IT”. I gave them that look like nah as I really wasn’t trynna hit it.

After work we all went to our hotels. I was a reservist so I only did my one weekend a month but if you lived more than like 75 miles from your unit the army put you up in a hotel for the weekend so just imagine the fukkery. Anyway we all planned on going out that night. Somehow the white chick didn’t have a jacket and I gave her mind on some “I’m a Sergeant now I need to start looking out for my soldiers shyt”. Ole girl was a little tispy as this point by the way.

So we all went to the club but it was wack so I left maybe around midnight especially since I had to wake up early. About 3am I got a knock on the door. So I get up and it was ole girl like he’s your jacket. So I say thanks and try and close the door but she put her foot in the door and invites herself in. She went straight to the bed. When she did that I already knew I was gonna hit so I asked her “you not gonna say anything right”? (smh, 21 year old Sergeant mistake and thinking with the wrong head). As soon as I finish I put here out. She asked why. I told her I couldn’t risk people seeing you walking out my room in the morning.

After that I never hit again and she was smashing almost every black dude in the unit, even have one of the sergeant first class’s doing everything for her as he was married and all that.

Anyway maybe 6 months ago me and my boy were talking about the goo things we had in the unit and I confessed to him I smashed ole girl. He was like “bruh she’s fuked everybody, how could you, she didn’t even look that good” and gave me hell for like about 30 more seconds until he confessed he fuked her to lol. Then we were like:

 

[6ixSigma]

I pulled a lot of tower guard when I was in Afghanistan. Rotations ranged from 4 hours to 12 hours. Sometimes you were in the tower alone and sometimes you had somebody in there. This particular time I was up there alone and decided to have a heavy lunch.

It was hot this day, real hot, and I was sitting in the tower with all my gear on and my stomach got to trippin so I called on the radio for a relief: “I have a code black (that was our code for bathroom break)”

I got no reply so about 10 minutes later I asked for another. About 10 minutes later they said they were about to do shift change so I had to hold it. Shift change took around 30 minutes and I had picked up someone else’s shift in the tower so nobody was coming to my tower. Now about an hour had passed and still no relive and my stomach was bubbling so I had to take matters into my own hands.

I grabbed a big black trash bag and shytted in the bag inside the tower. shyt looked like popeyes beans. Then I didn’t have any napkins so I had to use my boot sock to wipe my ass. Didn’t wanna leave that bag in the tower so I walked outside the tower and there the trash bag over the wall off into Afghanistan. Immediately some of the local kids ran up and grabbed the bag. Once they opened it they were pissed (and I was lmaooooo). Then they started throwing little rocks at my tower.

I swear that shyt (pun intended) was to funny.

This is exactly what the guard tower looked like btw. 3 levels of containers and you could climb down on the inside just in case you started getting shot at or wanted to shoot from a lower position.

 

[42 Monks]

 

[Piff Huxtable]

I pulled a lot of tower guard when I was in Afghanistan. Rotations ranged from 4 hours to 12 hours. Sometimes you were in the tower alone and sometimes you had somebody in there. This particular time I was up there alone and decided to have a heavy lunch.

It was hot this day, real hot, and I was sitting in the tower with all my gear on and my stomach got to trippin so I called on the radio for a relief: “I have a code black (that was our code for bathroom break)”

I got no reply so about 10 minutes later I asked for another. About 10 minutes later they said they were about to do shift change so I had to hold it. Shift change took around 30 minutes and I had picked up someone else’s shift in the tower so nobody was coming to my tower. Now about an hour had passed and still no relive and my stomach was bubbling so I had to take matters into my own hands.

I grabbed a big black trash bag and shytted in the bag inside the tower. shyt looked like popeyes beans. Then I didn’t have any napkins so I had to use my boot sock to wipe my ass. Didn’t wanna leave that bag in the tower so I walked outside the tower and there the trash bag over the wall off into Afghanistan. Immediately some of the local kids ran up and grabbed the bag. Once they opened it they were pissed (and I was lmaooooo). Then they started throwing little rocks at my tower.

I swear that shyt (pun intended) was to funny.

This is exactly what the guard tower looked like btw. 3 levels of containers and you could climb down on the inside just in case you started getting shot at or wanted to shoot from a lower position.

 

[Mr.bocario]

Man these stories are too funny

 

[Shogun]

One night in Afghanistan my platoon was QRF (quick reaction force),so we were all hanging around by the platoon room playing cards n shyt. It was early in our deployment, and about half the guys had zero combat experience. We also had a squad sized element of Afghan National Army troops attached to us. These dudes were wild. Most of them join up just for a steady paycheck, and couldnt give a fukk about a mission, orders, or any of that shyt. I remember one time we were lined up on an LZ about to get picked up by a Chinook for an air assault, and a few of them sent the interpreter over to our PL to ask if they could smoke hash before the helo showed up But, we would train with them and it was whatever.

So, we're QRF and it's getting late. Dudes are falling asleep n shyt when all of the sudden fukken BOOM BOOM BOOM. Incoming mortar rounds started droppin in the COP and small arms fire started poppin off. The dudes who were new to combat froze up, a few dudes with experience were at the fact they had the balls to straight attack our COP. It must have been around 23:00, and we all mounted up in our trucks and went after these dudes.

Now we're tearing through these tiny ass mountain villages and dirt roads n shyt, following directions from an F-15 above that had eyes on these dudes, and we had our Afghan attachment with us

It's the middle of the night, and it's pitch fukking black, and we're tearing through these villages in huge ass monster trucks. The driver of the front truck hit a corner too fast, and smashed into the village's irrigation ditch and drove the truck halfway into this river Brehs, there wasn't much holding this river in place, and water started ROARING out. We flooded the fukk out of this entire little village Plus its the middle of the night so these villagers are waking up to water surging into their houses

At this point the ANA dudes with us are like cause they sitting there in our formation fukking up this village with us

to be continued...

 

[Kyle C. Barker]

Afghan National Army sound like the keystone cops

 

[Ziggiy]

L

 

[Gonzo]

So a couple months go by and we got a female soldier named Lyons, who transferred from CG's Mess to Kilbourne because she was fukking one of the Sergeants. Like I said before, Korea was free love capital for Soldiers. It didn't matter if you were married, in a relationship, a private, a 1st Sergeant, Lieutenant, whatever. EVERYBODY was smashing SOMEBODY. Now a Sgt is not allowed to have sexual relations with ANY soldier who is of lower rank (unless they are married) and ESPECIALLY if that soldier works directly under you in the same unit. Lyons was a PV2 (Private Second Class) and a NASTY Cac bytch who was KNOWN throughout the Camp for NOT taking showers

Spoiler: Lyons

So she was fukking this sergeant, We'll call him Sgt Bernido. Sgt Bernido can only be described as Edward James Olmos in a uniform. He was old, Latino, and about a year from retirement, so he gave no fukks. He'd parade this nasty, ugly Cac chick around the camp religiously, to the point where she HAD to be moved to circumvent the fukkery....

So as a cook, you CANNOT be nasty. We have cooks mount at the start of every shift, our grooming, our fingernails, our uniforms are inspected. She ALWAYS failed cooks mount. It got to the point where Sgt Smallwood wouldn't allow her to handle food, she could only clean, and even then he made her wear gloves, she was THAT nasty.

So after her 3rd failed room inspection, Sgt Smallwood forced a schedule upon the female soldiers where they were FORCED TO WATCH her shower EVERY night. This chick was disgusting, dikkinson and Pitt confided in me that she never brushed her teeth without being told too. Sometimes they'd go to her room for her shower inspection and Sgt Bernido would be there lying in her bed, one time Pitt went over there, knocked on the door and Sgt Bernido answered talking about "Don't worry, when I'm done with her tonight you'll be calling her MRS CLEAN"

Next day she showed up LATE for Cook's Mount, and she smelled like fish Tacos and salsa sweat

The thirst is just incomprehensible. The vast majority of females in the military are busted. Just terrible looking things.