Advice For A First Time Father

[The_Sheff]

Don’t listen to this

you absolutely need to be there the first weeks because your girl needs to rest eat right to HEAL her body and mind. Meaning all she can do is tend to the baby and rest. You need to do the rest, clean, cook, shopping, help with the baby, etc.

unless you have family that will be there to do those things while you are at work then I recommend you take your leave with mom.


People really throw women in the bushes postpartum

after delivery care is just as important as the pregnancy.

Been through this twice. The baby literally isn't going to do anything those first two weeks but sleep. It's the easiest time to ever deal with a baby. When he goes back to work and weeks 6-8 hit is the worst because it's when the baby finally stays up. During those weeks she won't have time to do anything.

Plus like you said it's usually other people who wanna show up the first week to help but ain't shyt to help with other than bringing the mom food.

It's well documented.

OP just make sure she has food, the baby won't be an issue until weeks later, I'm telling you. When the baby is born and y'all get home make sure the house is clean, buy whatever food and supplies she gonna need, and get everything in order. Cook her breakfast in the morning and make sure there is a lunch. You cook or bring dinner when you come back. If you stay home those first two weeks you just gonna be playing videogames while the baby and mom are sleep all day. Take off from work weeks 6-8.

 

[H@LLOW]

lol i remember your wild and immature threads from sohh so it’s funny /cool seeing you give solid parenting advice ....damn we really getting old

I got a 3rd on the way

 

[The_Sheff]

Here is some more productivity based advice.

Do not go out and buy a ton of size 1 diapers. My first son was in size 1 diapers for 1 month and then we had boxes of that shyt left over. If people want to get you diapers request size 2 or 3. Kids stay in size 3 the longest, the more of those you can get the more money you will save.

Do not buy sleepers with snaps, you want zippers. Its going to be a bytch and a half to change diapers at 1am if you have to snap shyt. The zippers make it 100% easier.

My first son could not take powdered formula, he would always spit it up. So we had to use liquid which sucks because once you open the bottle it has to be refrigerated and subsequently has to be warmed. That sucks because the baby gonna be crying and you standing by a bottle warmer waiting for it to finish. If you not going 100% breast fed try whatever powder you can to see if the kid will take it before you go with liquid formula.

Buy an infant seat for your car, the one where you can carry the thing by a handle. Some parents go 100% convertible seat but thats a pain in the ass because when the baby falls asleep in the car you have to physically remove their body from the seat and it wakes them up. With the infant seat/carrier you can just take the whole thing inside and let the baby keep sleeping.

Check the clearance rack for what your kid will be wearing next year. You can save a lot of money by buying a year in advance on clearance.

Try to figure out the signs your baby is sleepy, once you see the sign put them to bed. A baby can get too tired to go to sleep as dumb as that sounds. If you let them get too tired before putting them to bed they gonna go into a fit that takes forever to calm them out of.

If your child needs to be swaddled in order to sleep then dont fumble with that folding a blanket shyt, go buy some actual swaddles. They like sleeping bags with velcro fasteners, makes life so much easier. You can get that velcro so tight they cant undo it like they will with that blanket bullshyt.

 

[JLova]

The best and toughest job, there is no telling how they will grow up to be, just do your part, and always be there.

So bloody difficult yet so rewarding. I'm so gotdamn tired.

 

[JLova]

If your child needs to be swaddled in order to sleep then dont fumble with that folding a blanket shyt, go buy some actual swaddles. They like sleeping bags with velcro fasteners, makes life so much easier. You can get that velcro so tight they cant undo it like they will with that blanket bullshyt.

I hated doing that shyt. We got him a sleep sack pretty early on..works like a charm.

 

[Psychosis]

If you plan on taking off from work take off around weeks 7-9. Do not take off work to stay home with your wife immediately after birth, it's a waste. All that baby is going to do is sleep and you won't be helping her at all. Around week 7 the baby actually stays up a bit and she will be begging for help so she can get some rest.

good looking out

 

[Panther]

Do not let your baby sleep in the bed with you. Once you let them in your bed it’s over. I got an almost 3 year old that think our bed is his bed. I haven’t slept through the night in 3 years

This x10000

Enjoy sleep while you still can

Be patient with your girl and the baby, its constant adjustments from the day you bring her home. Let all the small potenital arguments go, not worth it now that you have a kid to focus on.

 

[datnigDASTARDLY]

Don’t listen to this

you absolutely need to be there the first weeks because your girl needs to rest eat right to HEAL her body and mind. Meaning all she can do is tend to the baby and rest. You need to do the rest, clean, cook, shopping, help with the baby, etc.

unless you have family that will be there to do those things while you are at work then I recommend you take your leave with mom.


People really throw women in the bushes postpartum

after delivery care is just as important as the pregnancy.

THIS!

I don't have any girls, but I have 2 boys. The best piece of advice I can give you is....just be there and be of help for the baby and for your girl/wife.

Remember the little innocuous things and get out of your comfort zone breh. There's gonna be a lot of emotions going throughout the house, some rational and some irrational both from the baby and from the mother (that post partum is a bytch). Just be there breh and be an asset, not a hinderance

Good luck pappy

 

[NotaPAWG]

Don’t be a scumbag to the mother or wife of your daughter.. that shyt really damages you and what you’ll allow in relationships

We heavily learn from & imitate the relationships between our parents, my dad wasn’t shyt to my mom (it’s the truth) and because of it, I allowed myself to be treated terribley cause it was ‘normalized’.

Congrats and good luck


That’s the only advice I can offer from a women’s perspective cause I have no children

 

[DonRe]

I would say what areas concern you or are you interested about.

off the dome, as my two daughters (1) and (4) circle around me, is always be the tulimate provider for them. Never let them be without.

ive been thinking a lot about how women tend to be dependent on men who provide the most basic, simplest shyt whether it be material or emotional. And how sad that looks.

cant have my baby girls not knowing what a man who takes care of his family looks like. Again not just with material shyt

also dont overreact with fevers. Its normal unless its really high and consistent.

and say goodbye to your sleep. Man i miss them 8-10 hr sleeps.

 

[The_Sheff]

THIS!

I don't have any girls, but I have 2 boys. The best piece of advice I can give you is....just be there and be of help for the baby and for your girl/wife.

Remember the little innocuous things and get out of your comfort zone breh. There's gonna be a lot of emotions going throughout the house, some rational and some irrational both from the baby and from the mother (that post partum is a bytch). Just be there breh and be an asset, not a hinderance

Good luck pappy

Question, did your babies do anything for the first two weeks of life other than eat and immediately go back to sleep? I found that being home the first two weeks is 100% psychological/emotional and 0% productive.

We had people come over to help and it was a pain in my ass because the baby and my wife were sleep all the time so i had to entertain family i barely wanted around.

The second time around i made sure i made breakfast before i went to work and had lunch in the fridge, came home and cooked dinner, rinse wash repeat. When the baby reached a point where he wanted to stay up and command attention, thats when i took off from work and let my wife get more rest. My wife pretty much demanded i wait until the baby started staying up before taking off from work. It was a complete 180 from the first time where i basically got 2 weeks to play video games and then weeks later when the baby was up i came home from work to my wife completely worn the hell out.

 

[shopthatwrecks]

Instrumentals from ya favorite artist
As background music 25-8

 

[manyfaces]

I appreciate those words. We are for sure going to breast pump so I can do my part - I think it's good for me to be able to have that bonding as well with baby girl.

We were thinking for the first few months putting a bassinet just right next to us when we sleep until she's old enough for the crib in the nursery. You think that would work or maybe too tough for us to sleep at all?

Congrats and folks have been giving dinner great advice. To piggyback off the breast pump thing, check with both of your insurance companies because it may be something they get you for free. We found out late on our first child when a nurse told us they may cover it. Looked into when having our second, and not only did they cover it at no extra cost, but the options they had were much better than what she was using for our first kid. It was pretty much the home version of the hospital strength one she used at the hospital.

Also get your swaddling technique down. It will definitely help you get more sleep as the baby sleeps longer when they feel secure. And as several people have already said DO NOT LET THE BABY SLEEP WITH Y'ALL. Trust me you will regret it no matter how easy it seems to make things in the beginning.

Other than that, enjoy every moment, even the shytty ones (literally) because once those moments pass you can't get them back. In the early months I would say "I can't wait until you can ___" and then I saw their quickly turn into "I wish you were still ___". Those precious moments go by in a flash.

 

[H@LLOW]

So bloody difficult yet so rewarding. I'm so gotdamn tired.

facts. We have to keep pushing and show them the way.

Don’t be a scumbag to the mother or wife of your daughter.. that shyt really damages you and what you’ll allow in relationships

We heavily learn from & imitate the relationships between our parents, my dad wasn’t shyt to my mom (it’s the truth) and because of it, I allowed myself to be treated terribley cause it was ‘normalized’.

Congrats and good luck


That’s the only advice I can offer from a women’s perspective cause I have no children

Props.

in my case my father was garbage to my mother and I promise myself I will never be like him.

 

[datnigDASTARDLY]

Question, did your babies do anything for the first two weeks of life other than eat and immediately go back to sleep? I found that being home the first two weeks is 100% psychological/emotional and 0% productive.

We had people come over to help and it was a pain in my ass because the baby and my wife were sleep all the time so i had to entertain family i barely wanted around.

The second time around i made sure i made breakfast before i went to work and had lunch in the fridge, came home and cooked dinner, rinse wash repeat. When the baby reached a point where he wanted to stay up and command attention, thats when i took off from work and let my wife get more rest. My wife pretty much demanded i wait until the baby started staying up before taking off from work. It was a complete 180 from the first time where i basically got 2 weeks to play video games and then weeks later when the baby was up i came home from work to my wife completely worn the hell out.

Yes and no, but my experience wasn't typical I guess
Both my boys were premies and the first spent a significant amount of time in NICU so his day night cycle was all fukked up from jump . So being around was a definite help. Was it necessary to be around and help, yeah because the little guy had his shyt in reverse .

My second child spent only a couple days in NICU comparatively, but my wife had a c-section...so again requiring a lot of additional care that was necessary. I felt like a glorified butler for 3 people