Am I Wrong and/or an @$$hole for This?: Had to curb some old friends from high school...

[Kobes Two Jerseys]

I curb family that don't vibe with me. I have given them chances but you can't change what they are. 1 was my main cousin growing up. We were born 3 months apart and were always together. We are at totally opposite ends of the spectrum now and while I still love him as my brother, things will just never be the same. I have come to accept that and just appreciate the time we had growing up together. When we see eachother, its cool. But its clearly not what it was and never will be. You have to just move on sometimes.

 

[Bgreat]

I can't even fathom having white friends

 

[Heafcliffe]

I curb family that don't vibe with me. I have given them chances but you can't change what they are. 1 was my main cousin growing up. We were born 3 months apart and were always together. We are at totally opposite ends of the spectrum now and while I still love him as my brother, things will just never be the same. I have come to accept that and just appreciate the time we had growing up together. When we see eachother, its cool. But its clearly not what it was and never will be. You have to just move on sometimes.

Story of my life as of late. After some family tragedies, I realized they had ulterior motives, are completely fake and have sneaky shy about them. I could no longer ride for 'em. Then once I decide to make a viable, successful life for myself, I'm now acting "too good" and "have changed."

Always speak when I see 'em but, other than that, I'm good. Was on the fence for a min about cutting them off completely, then I realized that I was more happy/ more successful/ open- and clear-minded once they got gone.

 

[fukkyalifestyle]

I can't even fathom having friends

fixed that for you

 

[Hawaiian Punch]

As the honorable Nasir said in song: "A thug changes, and love changes and best friends become strangers"

 

[8WON6]

No you did the right thing. Some of your story sounds like mine. The difference I grew up in the hood about mostly black people. So I was pretty much semi-woke the whole time I went to a PWI. I still made some white friends while there, and that's where I'm similar to your story. We all start from the same place post college, they all get them white people rockets on they back while I'm dealing cism related stuff career wise. And the funniest part is these nepotism/white privilege babies try to tell me what i'm doing wrong, when most of them got their money up via family members giving them jobs, or them "knowing the right people"...aka their dad knew a guy.

Its like white people all hit about 27 or 28 and that republican come right up on outta them. It's like "well, I'm done slumming it and doing drugs now it's time for me to fall into this white supremacy". Cuz funny enough nearly all the white people I know/knew were junkies, all did pills, coke, etc....but of course they never get targeted so they get to do that shyt and clean up when they feel like it. If they don't say racist shyt it's their little buddies from their hometown saying it.

Kick em to the curb. I did the same thing, OP. Kicked a lot of people I thought were friends to the curb. Alot of them almost did it themselves once I really started talkin that black empowerment shyt.

Don't even trip

 

[VladTheImpaler]

Ok...if you been following my posts...you know I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and went to predominantly white schools until graduation and moved to NYC.

Used to have a circle of friends where I was the token black guy around mostly white guys. And honestly since the past 8 years....I just can't fukk with them anymore on any sort of level. All of my new friends I've made in NYC (mostly black and spanish) I connect to alot more and can talk about things I couldn't talk with them. As cruel as it sounds...I have been making a concentrated effort to erase my past & focus on my present and that includes people I once knew. I can't relate to them or their lives. We have nothing in common anymore. Just based off my current circle of friends they don't fit in anywhere in the equation.

The main reason I can't fukk with them anymore is because of how different our lives went once we all went to college and graduated. They all got good jobs in corporate shortly after school and have houses, cars, wives, families...I visited them in the past and we went to spots where it was mostly and I just felt uncomfortable in Scottsdale/PHX and Baltimore. Meanwhile I struggled to finish college at a shytty PWI...felt alienated...had to work 5 times as hard for half the results, finally graduated...then moved...only to deal with unemployment, job discrimination, housing discrimination, underemployment, homelessness, and finally some success. But it was the fact we started at the same point and they were able to get ahead more while I struggled that just got to me.

And honestly back then they would be on some lowkey that I didn't pick up on until I was older and more educated & "woke" so to speak....this one dude I used to hang out with made a joke when we were at a concert about announcing the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin verdict at the show...and would make these Trayvon jokes....

shortly after that verdict i deleted my facebook...pretty telling them cats "I'm gone don't find me"



well the other day two of them texted me....I went off on one of them...especiallly after reading on all of these police shootings on tape on twitter and here...I told him to fukk off and that he was a racist and i basically don't associate with his kind.

The other texted me two days ago and since I didn't respond immediately it would be weird to now and i don't know what to say. I might just delete them.

So am I in the wrong here? Or...

Sounds to me like you always knew they were kinda .

Sounds to me even though you knew deep down that they were little you went ahead and with and for them as maybe just to get along and laughed at all there jokes, even the ones you knew you should not have.

In reality, they were probably always on your existence by having good about Trayvon and others things(I do not believe that the Trayvon joke was the first one they did in front of you..but only this time you didn't

Meh, charge it to the game but maybe in the future, respond sooner instead of waiting years later to be

 

[root_eruditorium_org]

I can't stand being a token anymore so the few white friends I have I'm friends with them because they treat me with respect. But even then, I tolerate them in low doses (I'm sorry to say this). I just prefer hanging around black people in general.

As to @1984 - it is sad but your lives took different paths and if you can't vibe with them anymore you just can't - life is too short to waste it on ppl who you can't connect with. There are so many interesting ppl out there waiting for you that to be honest I wouldn't be bothered leaving behind a couple terrible high school friends.

Right now I can say that out of my current group of friends there's only one who i've been talking to for 2+ years. Ppl come and go - so learn to enjoy the moment. But you should definitely hold your white friends (& other non-black friends) to a higher standard because they are more likely to disrespect you in subtle, hard to pin-point fashion - & that wreaks havoc on you over the long term.

 

[DrX]

Lol fukk em...cut them off....hell cut most ppl off if they help u reach your goals

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

@1984
I am in the same situation as you. I had a wealth of cac/white friends that I came up with that I can't relate to anymore.
Though most of them have worse lives than me yet still aren't in a position of danger as I am...and they vote republican.

I can't relate to them one more day any more than a bird can relate to a fish.
Some...most people you grew up with...you have to let go of.
Especially those that don't have the same life or future goals as you.
It might hurt, but you'll be better off in the long run. You can't go far when you have people holding you back that don't have your best interest at heart.
Frankly, I've had to drop a bunch of ghetto mentality negroes from my childhood too...they're not going anywhere either...the gotta go.

My friend list is short...but damn sweet...and only people that look, work and think like me are on it.

 

[Losttribe]

You made a ton of posters feel horrible

 

[thekingsmen]

You dont have to explain shyt on thecoli...lose friends, gain friends, Its life.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Story of my life as of late. After some family tragedies, I realized they had ulterior motives, are completely fake and have sneaky shy about them. I could no longer ride for 'em. Then once I decide to make a viable, successful life for myself, I'm now acting "too good" and "have changed."

Always speak when I see 'em but, other than that, I'm good. Was on the fence for a min about cutting them off completely, then I realized that I was more happy/ more successful/ open- and clear-minded once they got gone.

I've gone through that too.
When I was single and struggling and walking to work...my pops side of the family LOVED me. They loved being able to look down on me and pity me and say "Awwww...poor little Behind-The-Wheel...we'll help you".
But after I got on board with the govt and started getting paid, got married and successful...all they do is hate!
Won't reply to calls or texts, won't inform me of family get togethers, won't visit, nothing. They drive 800 miles to come see my relative that lives down the highway from me, but never come by to see me...im less than 15 miles away.

That's ok...I'm good either way bytches.
See you fake fukks at the next funeral...and don't ask me for shyt!


So now I only talk to two people on my pops side of the family...basically my brother and my pop...that's it.
The rest of them are dead to me.

 

[DrX]

one dude i went to HS with hit me up after not speaking to him for a decade...i ignored his ass.....speak to him for what?

 

[KravenMorehead™]

"you ain't king of NY you party out in scottsdale"

"So have a seat,

this gon be a masterpiece I had to beef/ he look like a gorilla, wit rabbit teef"