You've got to be positive about it. If she does something then compliment her "Oh this food is great".. "wow great job cleaning.. if she feels good about it then she'll do it more. If you just complain to her then she'll just get defensive and won't change anything.
Nah.
People need to be praised for HOW they work, not the actual task. She should be getting praise for how hard she works on something, not just doing tiny things or completing, if you work hard but it's terrible, but you get praised for your ethic, you are more likely to work hard at other things and to learn that working hard = a good thing.
That's her problem.
She needs to learn to find satisfaction in hard work.
She probably suffers from depression/laziness etc too.
But people make this mistake when they raise their kids. You should never praise a child just for doing something, praise them for how hard they worked on something, so they feel encouraged to continue working hard on other things. In the end they'll get better grades, be more goal oriented etc because they learned that working hard = good, and they won't just stop working hard at something because you're gone.
They will realize the rewards/benefits and that realization will be separate from your praise. It's like a personal advantage to them that they come to enjoy and relish. And they won't just complete tasks to get the goody at the end but because they've learned to like hard work.
Your wife is the same way. She has to learn what it is to have a work ethic, but she has to enjoy it and take pride in that work ethic.
I'd try to find things we could work on together and would only use praise if she worked hard at it, like exercise or developing a website together etc... that way she is benefiting herself, getting a skill or improving herself in some way. She gets two rewards, the one you give her through verbal support but ONLY if she works hard, and the side reward of accomplishing something on her own.
That's the key thing though. She needs to learn to love working hard and how to accomplish something independently that she can see the results of and enjoy.
Wish you luck, it's easier to mold a teenager/child, harder to get an adult to get on that shyt.
Suggestion: Why not get her to build a website of her career brand, that outlines her accomplishments, skills etc, and is an expression of her own creativity? This gives her a goal and something that she can actually use and will help her get other jobs. So it has 3 different uses for her, and its something she can do on her own and work hard at, and you can see the results of...
Oh yea, and cut off that cable if you can.
everyday
.......you've been putting up with this for 5 years??.......
