As A Man How do u make amends with never being married or having kids?
African Peasant
Veteran
You're the one using a black and white analysis. I never talked about 6 figures. I'm not on that coli millionaire boys club. I'm speaking about the life of the average joe, which I am. I'm not talking about Wall street investment bankers.
I'm not saying all women are gold digging whore but I'm saying that if you're 35 and broke, it will be hard to get married, not impossible, but hard.
The perfect window for a man to get married, if you take into account all the relevant factors ( the quality of the woman you want, her age, your financial situation, your physical situation, the fact you will have kids, etc), is between 25 and 35.
I see your premise, but I havent seen it work out this way 'on the ground'
Alot of divorced men in their 40s and 50s lost their jobs and some lost homes recently. Alot of guys have been without work for 1 year or more. Some how many of them managed to find women who want to be with them.
Mostly men lost their jobs in this current economy as jobs are more geared towards womens skills of nurturing and managing information, but woman's nature still desires a man.
I don't think the dollars over ride human nature.
African Peasant
Veteran
The dollar, the quest for material comfort, is part of the human nature.
They didn't marry 23 years with no kids, I bet. Most of the time, they will mostly marry divorcee or widows. That's mainly their pool. I don't think a 35 yo wants that.
But that is not bad(although I don't think that is always the case either) That said, if I'm in my 50s and divorced why would I want to start over with a 23 year old? Doesn't make sense, I would run. Probably go for 35-55.
I have a old neighbor whos 64 and divorced. Ironically a friend of his is 60 and remarried a 24 year old and had a kid. He told me he would never do that. I do not blame him. Marriage is a tough institution and nothing like the movies. If you're divorced with older kids you are not trying to start from scratch again most likely.
Cel 510 kid ados forever
Veteran
ThaRealness
Superstar
African Peasant
Veteran
It's not bad for them... regarding their situation. They're not young...
But it's a different situation. You're talking about 45+ people who have been married for the most part. They are not in the same category with 30 - 35 yo who want to create a family.
You're mixing two differents situations. We're talking about bachelor who want to settle.
The 24 yo marrying a 60 yo has most likely problems... Plus, it's a marginal situation.
BrokePhiBroke
Superstar
Why do y'all all assume 30 year olds women are desperate hags?This description is scary because it's true. One girl I really like fits the description perfectly, beside the demeanor. She's 30. She's not married. It's sad, she's a very nice girl.
When it comes to men, 30 is not the death sentence. If you got your stuff together : you have a stable situation and a normal body. you can eat like crazy. But it's better to start thinking about a family.
When it comes to marriage, you can and you must marry a 23 years old. Not a 30. You need a young woman for your kids... and for yourself. 30 + are easy to bag, because they are desperate but they have a lot of baggage, physically and emotionally. Plus, it's better for the woman to have her first kid in her 20's.
If you hit that age, it's time to start searching. If you're not married after 35, it's a problem.
Like seriously please tell me where are y'all getting this from and don't say real life. Possible I'm sure but this is like a tale being told too much on here.
African Peasant
Veteran
TLDR. Marriage means different things. In our era marriage has evolved into a contractual agreement which in most cases is detrimental to a man. Any man of sound mind and intelligence has no reason to sign that dotted line or walk down the isle. Love and Marriage are not mutually exclusive. Second, unless a man is going through menopause there is nothing as too late. Yes, ideally 20's should be used to acquire skills. 30's to build on wealth through said skills. Failure to do so isn't death.
BrokePhiBroke
Superstar
I'm sure there's examples in the real world I'm not disputing that.
The 30 stuff is not a Coli creation...
Some people may feel like life just got started for them at 30 (yes it's possible). The woman health, wealth, and overall happiness might have came at 30.
Idk I just never got the "quick bag em while you can" mentality that is somehow always the face of women. When in this very thread nig$as acting like it's all over at 30. I mean who's really the desperate ones here?
they did a study on this....black men suffer from PTSD ...its universal...must be a Buffalo thing.
as always i wish you luck.
The Link Between Racism and PTSD
