Been with my girl for two years and she wants to live together

[Ill-Mind]

Based off of your post history, I'm surprised you haven't walked out on her yet

 

[Weaver31]

No offense but it sounds like she was the alpha and you were the beta of that relationship and she figured she could play on you once the ink dried on that paper. They say what doesn't kill you, teaches you, salute for learning from experience

In some ways yes. She is hotheaded, meanspirited and more extroverted than I. I'm chill and laidback and she flies off if mad. I found out later tho but she did try to front at first.

 

[unit321]

talked about getting an apartment yesterday

Don't do it.
It's like a are you going to buy her a promise ring from Jared? No. That stuff is for fools who want to waste money, because either you are all in or not.
An apartment is way more complex than a promise ring. If things don't work out, you have an apartment big enough for two adults where only one adult is going to live in it. Do you want to, or can you handle that rent? And the utilities? You know if things don't work out and you went all in on a big cable/movie/internet/phone package, that's going to be one huge bill for one person, because the cable company isn't going to give you a discount when one person moves out. It's not their problem. It's yours.

But let's start with some general questions.
1. Is she crazy?
2. Has she exhibited any red flags lately? Large hoop earrings or leopard pattern pants that she used to not have/wear.
3. Does she want you for your money so she can either spend lavishly on herself or pay for her poor sibling's bills because he or she can't get it together and is always missing out on car payments and stuff?
4. Did you come to the coli with this question because you have some apprehension about it?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you need to break up. If you don't, you are going to be dead in a year.

 

[Gold]

How much you paying in rent living downtown?

Not living downtown anymore cuz I got a new job. But when I was, $1300/mo.
It was a nice apartment, great amenities, but none of it was necessary for survival.


Now I live in uptown, $750 for a condo. My place is as hell, but i'm saving half a rack a month .

I'm only 2 minutes away from downtown and I can walk to the Mavs Stadium if I want to

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

At the end of the day nothing is guaranteed, and any talk If marriage should come from the Breh not her.

if the dude can't fully support himself (in case it goes to shyt) and her at the same time. It's a no.

If the dude is young, it's a no.

If the arrangement is partly because she struggling to even support herself as an adult, it's a no.

Brehettes in here are fully for moving because any fall out would 100% rest on the guy, it's a risk that should be thought very carefully.

It's not "just moving in"

Don't generalize and think that's every girl now, hunny.

I dated my dude for a year and a half, moved in with him before our 2 year mark and got married 2 months after moving in. Every SINGLE THING is under my name because I wanted to provide & spoil him the same way a guy would do a woman. He wanted a car from a dealership, it's under my name. The lease, in my name, every bill (gas, light, cable, internet, phones) in MY name. After 3 years married I discovered his poor money management. Not only that, I don't know if it's an island thing because I noticed it from people that's not originally from the USA, but they have this undying loyalty to their family. His family literally lives off of him. We don't have a savings because ever spare money we have after every bill is paid, for some reason or another, it's being given to his family. And that became a problem because at this point, they are now considered an expense and I didn't agree to marry him AND his family. Before him, all I had to worry about was my $40/monthly MetroPCS bill and my $50 monthly bus pass to get to and from school.

It's been a little over a year that I checked out of our relationship because of the numerous emotional and verbal abuse I had to endure. I kept trying to fix our relationship and save our marriage but it's when I took a step back and saw that I wasn't saving it for the sake of me still wanting to be with him for the rest of my life but moreso, just for the sake of marriage always needs fixing. I was trying to repair for the wrong reasons.

We've been living apart for 6 months now and it's now he wants to try and make shyt work when I can careless for it. Maybe I still am trying to cling on to the hope that he changed and it's not temporary until he gets comfortable again and fukk up.

With him gone, all those expenses that were in my name is now my sole responsibility. Because of his decisions, I'm $32k in debt and now got to figure out how to handle $2300 worth of bills a month. I mean, I get paid nicely at work, I can manage, I'll just not have anything afterwards and would be living paycheck to paycheck. But with graduation now less than a year away, I want to convert to part-time to focus more on my classes. Work takes too much of my time. And being part time I'm looking at a gross of $1500 a month. That's nowhere near enough.

Don't think some females don't go through what majority of guys go through when relationships end.

 

[Action Mike]

Don't generalize and think that's every girl now, hunny.

I dated my dude for a year and a half, moved in with him before our 2 year mark and got married 2 months after moving in. Every SINGLE THING is under my name because I wanted to provide & spoil him the same way a guy would do a woman. He wanted a car from a dealership, it's under my name. The lease, in my name, every bill (gas, light, cable, internet, phones) in MY name. After 3 years married I discovered his poor money management. Not only that, I don't know if it's an island thing because I noticed it from people that's not originally from the USA, but they have this undying loyalty to their family. His family literally lives off of him. We don't have a savings because ever spare money we have after every bill is paid, for some reason or another, it's being given to his family. And that became a problem because at this point, they are now considered an expense and I didn't agree to marry him AND his family. Before him, all I had to worry about was my $40/monthly MetroPCS bill and my $50 monthly bus pass to get to and from school.

It's been a little over a year that I checked out of our relationship because of the numerous emotional and verbal abuse I had to endure. I kept trying to fix our relationship and save our marriage but it's when I took a step back and saw that I wasn't saving it for the sake of me still wanting to be with him for the rest of my life but moreso, just for the sake of marriage always needs fixing. I was trying to repair for the wrong reasons.

We've been living apart for 6 months now and it's now he wants to try and make shyt work when I can careless for it. Maybe I still am trying to cling on to the hope that he changed and it's not temporary until he gets comfortable again and fukk up.

With him gone, all those expenses that were in my name is now my sole responsibility. Because of his decisions, I'm $32k in debt and now got to figure out how to handle $2300 worth of bills a month. I mean, I get paid nicely at work, I can manage, I'll just not have anything afterwards and would be living paycheck to paycheck. But with graduation now less than a year away, I want to convert to part-time to focus more on my classes. Work takes too much of my time. And being part time I'm looking at a gross of $1500 a month. That's nowhere near enough.

Don't think some females don't go through what majority of guys go through when relationships end.

Jesus, sorry to hear that.

Your relationship is definitely an expection to the rule, but my point still stands.

The breh would (should) have everything to do with that house under his name, if considering having some move in with him and he's already established.

I just think some people in this thread are taking this decision waaay too lightly, that being the emphasis on them being together for 2 years rather than their compatibility which are two seperate things.

Don't go back to that bum ass dude. Damn.

 

[mcdivit85]

Yes u make a good point but some people are excellent liars. They know how to front and cover shyt up. My ex lied to my family and told them she was an assistant administrator to a hospital and she had a degree which wasn't true and she didn't work for over a year. Also inexperience can play a roll as well. Some people seek out people who are vulnerable, desperate, naive, dumbfounded, and gullible. Then if one is in love or lust...they can easily make poor judgment and choices that they normally wouldn't make. And add in pressure from family/friends to move forward and to have kids and get married by a "certain timeline."

U make a point because usually there are red flags before unfavorable situations happen. But we are people and we make mistakes...some just be too costly.

I can understand, especially if we're talking about someone who maybe has low self esteem and/or low self image. And yes, people do lie. But verification needs to be done at some level. Not saying a person should be stalked, but asking questions and truly listening to what someone is saying goes a long way. People tell on themselves in one way or another.

Also, many people tend to think with their ego, which can get them in trouble. One should always ask "why is this person telling me this" when listening to someone talk about themselves or their life.

I'm glad you were able to get out of your situation and recover. Lesson learned.

Peace

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

Jesus, sorry to hear that.

Your relationship is definitely an expection to the rule, but my point still stands.

The breh would (should) have everything to do with that house under his name, if considering having some move in with him and he's already established.

I just think some people in this thread are taking this decision waaay too lightly, that being the emphasis on them being together for 2 years rather than their compatibility which are two seperate things.

Don't go back to that bum ass dude. Damn.

Yep, I'd advise OP the same thing. Moving together with someone you may think is the one is beautiful but don't get blind-sided by the love. I didn't take that shyt seriously until shyt hit the fan.
I do agree though. Everything should be in his name. It's smart.

 

[Gonzo]

Date with the intentions of marriage not to waste each other's time is how I feel. If you don't want a future with me why are we even dealing with each other? After 2 yrs u should be at least willing to live with someone even if Yall don't .

But that's not everyone's intentions... People date just to date yes it's a thing. People move at different speeds. Two years people can start getting comfortable and their real actions come to light. Main problem is people put a time line on something as unpredictable as a relationship. Begone with this horseshyt.

 

[the cool]

Don't do it.
It's like a are you going to buy her a promise ring from Jared? No. That stuff is for fools who want to waste money, because either you are all in or not.
An apartment is way more complex than a promise ring. If things don't work out, you have an apartment big enough for two adults where only one adult is going to live in it. Do you want to, or can you handle that rent? And the utilities? You know if things don't work out and you went all in on a big cable/movie/internet/phone package, that's going to be one huge bill for one person, because the cable company isn't going to give you a discount when one person moves out. It's not their problem. It's yours.

But let's start with some general questions.
1. Is she crazy?
2. Has she exhibited any red flags lately? Large hoop earrings or leopard pattern pants that she used to not have/wear.
3. Does she want you for your money so she can either spend lavishly on herself or pay for her poor sibling's bills because he or she can't get it together and is always missing out on car payments and stuff?
4. Did you come to the coli with this question because you have some apprehension about it?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you need to break up. If you don't, you are going to be dead in a year.

She's gained weight since we met

 

[Pinyapplesuckas]

Gonna be 2 years in October for me and mine...she wanna move in too

I kinda want to but at the same time I know it aint ever gonna be the same...she a little moody too and i like to be able to get away from that at times...not trying to be the subject of the fukkery.

 

[unit321]

She's gained weight since we met

Just run.

Change your e-mail address, phone number, move to a new city, get a new car, new girlfriend, everything...

....and if you ever run into her again, tell her unit321 told you what to do. It's as easy as that.

 

[the cool]

Just run.

Change your e-mail address, phone number, move to a new city, get a new car, new girlfriend, everything...

....and if you ever run into her again, tell her unit321 told you what to do. It's as easy as that.

Lol why

 

[BRUHMANE]

Been with my gf for almost 4 yrs and im 23 giing on 24 and she turn 23 this year both college grads. No talk of moving in together at all. She said she rather be alone and I'd rather just live alone too until im ready make sure this chick is wofe material.

See this is what I dont get,
Y'all been together for 4 years, yet you STILL waiting to see if ole girl wifey material?
You in college bruh you not supposed to be locked down with a girl in the first place.

 

[BRUHMANE]

Had an ex girlfriend kick me out of her apartment while I was staying with her because the lease for my new apartment didn't start yet

She kicked me out while away on vacation had a friend come get the key from me for her.