Being a Man With Depression Is fukking Tough
- Thread starter ThaRealness
- Start date
NoirDynosaur
Yurrrrrrrrrr
I've been depressed before fam, mainly from age 14-16. It's a rough period when you feeling down and out. Trust me...
What I found out is that through your darkest times...its life really testing to see how resilient and strong you are...
It can be a struggle but always remember...there's a light through the end of the tunnel
Stay strong my g...
What I found out is that through your darkest times...its life really testing to see how resilient and strong you are...
It can be a struggle but always remember...there's a light through the end of the tunnel
Stay strong my g...
ThaRealness
Superstar
Its that easy
real shyt. Ive noticed that when I get cocky and listen to negative ass music I end up more exposed to depression.
The fukking irony man
Im out here bumpin Conway and Mobb Deep and that shyts leaving me wide open
I changed up most of my music, I listen to only things that have positive vibes (speaking of changing yourself, striving to do better etc)
Im moving to Chicago as soon as I get the money. I think that when I get another job Ill be doin better, I just need to save money quick cause the pain just been getting worse the longer I been here. There was a time where I thought if I got laid all my problems would go away
But yes, I second you on working out. I said it before in another thread, lifting weights saved me last month from falling into a major depression. The immediate mental benefits are as good a remedy as any drug, and the longer term benefits are baseline physical confidence that no one can take away from you
This.
Powerlifting damn near single handledly saved my life a few years back
This is a major part too. If youre single that attention from whoever youre 8nto makes you feel better as a man. When youre depressed and get shut down over and over you almost feel like comitting that.
When youre in a relationship they dont really understand black mens depression. We handle it different than women so them trying to help sometimes doesnt work. We need a healthy outlet where we feel safe and not judged like we do everyday as a black man.
Striving For Greatness
Get Certs or Die Tryin
Stay strong blood
ReadOneBookAWeek
Smoking on a Cac Pack
Prepare your mind, body and soul for the better days. Jobs/Business opportunities are out there, Women are out there. But will you be in your best form when you encounter them?
Will you look and come off as someone dwelling in depression for half a decade or will you present yourself as someone who's been locked away fine tuning everything about themselves.
Always work through it. Nothing else you can do breh. Men are meant to feel incomplete until we master ourselves and accomplish our purpose.
Don't dwell. Dwelling fuels depression. When you catch yourself dwelling, hit a workout, read a book, work on your business, read some positive material.
When you do have to meditate, recognize and embrace the pain...accept it and then direct your thoughts towards what you can DO to change it.
Alot of depressed people are procrastinators living below their potential. And we deserve to be tormented when we are wasting life. Fight back
Will you look and come off as someone dwelling in depression for half a decade or will you present yourself as someone who's been locked away fine tuning everything about themselves.
Always work through it. Nothing else you can do breh. Men are meant to feel incomplete until we master ourselves and accomplish our purpose.
Don't dwell. Dwelling fuels depression. When you catch yourself dwelling, hit a workout, read a book, work on your business, read some positive material.
When you do have to meditate, recognize and embrace the pain...accept it and then direct your thoughts towards what you can DO to change it.
Alot of depressed people are procrastinators living below their potential. And we deserve to be tormented when we are wasting life. Fight back
T'krm
Superstar
'Failure feels cumulative, like its part of an overriding narrative'...
Felt that.....
When those feelings of dread suddenly appear, best advice OP is to NOT run or shield yourself from those feelings, even w/the onslaught of the anxiety feeling overwhelming.
Feel it, experience it, and let it course ur veins like a drug and will dissipate as soon as it came. Problems arise when we try to ignore, cover up, or mask depression w/other vices..and suppressing those feelings only make them worse!
Eod, you will still be alive, and ur body's flight reflex will lessen over time.
Felt that.....
When those feelings of dread suddenly appear, best advice OP is to NOT run or shield yourself from those feelings, even w/the onslaught of the anxiety feeling overwhelming.
Feel it, experience it, and let it course ur veins like a drug and will dissipate as soon as it came. Problems arise when we try to ignore, cover up, or mask depression w/other vices..and suppressing those feelings only make them worse!
Eod, you will still be alive, and ur body's flight reflex will lessen over time.
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International Playa
Playa with a Passport
@ThaRealness are you happy with your career/education or purpose in life?
I find when men are unhappy, they are unfulfilled in either their career/education, relationship with women, health, watching porn etc
I find when men are unhappy, they are unfulfilled in either their career/education, relationship with women, health, watching porn etc
King of Creampies
Hop in. You coming too!
I swear I hate this this shyt
Its fukked up because being depressed, its a moment where all your resilience, your mental strength, the positive strides you've taken, don't mean a damn thing.
In that moment, you have no power over the situation
Ive experienced 2-3 such moments in the last month. Every time its like a tsunami hits, and it don't matter if this time my house sitting on a couple stilts.
Failure feels cumulative, like its part of an overriding narrative
Anyone know what Im describing?
How do you cope with those moments of anxiety, fear, hopelessness and even vulnerability?
How do you face it in the moment? And how do you recover afterwards?
This was me in 2015 and now it's the END of 2018.
3 years.....
For me, I was loosing on 4 fronts. All at the same fukking time. Seriously.
- Marriage on fire going right into a divorce. Lost a great lover after separating and that was not my ex-wife I lost...
- Being pushed out job after moving across the country to get it.
- The family just forgot about me and didn't have the time.
- Weight Loss Surgery.
I had to focus on the good things I had going at least.....had my cats....had weight loss....had a severance of 30k.
It felt like everyone was laughing at me if that made sense and in my head I could HEAR it....and it made me feel so shytty but I knew in my head I couldn't stay here.
My time and energy were being drained and NOBODY would even talk or listen to me....or if they did it wasn't anything good.
So I split. I didn't tell my family or anyone. I took my severance and left.
Took a SOLID 3 years off. Had no social media so it was so easy to drive off in the night with my car packed with whatever I could take and two cats...
Moved up PACNW grew a beard and hit the gym every day 5 days a week. I wasn't trying to talk to ANYONE much less a female at that time. (its funny when I didn't want sex, females or female company...they were blowing up my phone hard or wanting to spend time but I didn't want that...I am a man for sure but sometimes p*ssy just ain't what will fix a man. Had a serious face just trying to jettison the stress in my life I was running from so I didn't want anyone else's energy in my life.
I just wanted to retreat inward and heal. I wanted to take a look inside myself and sift around through the rubble and ashes to find what was actually GOOD about me again.
That was the HARDEST part to actually think that there were things GOOD about me again and once I took hold of that....those things that I found that were GOOD about me again....I hardend them into weapons to make me strong and use them to think positive going forward. Every time I woke up and it was snowing...and I had to pack that gym back sore as fukk...my doubt crept up but I picked up that mental weapon and killed that shyt.
Then I would pick up my back and WALK in the PACNW to the gym everyday....I didn't care what people thought...I lost everything...everyone was laughing their ass off at me...everyone was living their best lives I thought....so what did it matter standing at a red light while people stared....or if people at the Gym thought I was homeless because I would show up every day in stretched out sweatshirts and gear...
Didn't care what anyone had to say anymore...if I was all that they said and nobody would even contact me why to invest any energy into how they felt....they weren't there...and time was a strong factor in healing..
That took time but while I did that internally I put in 5 days a week at the gym. I treated that shyt like it was a FULL-TIME JOB.
Rain? Gym.
Snow? Gym.
Heat? Gym
Bored? Gym
Angry? Gym
Gonna cry in the night? Gym.
Sad? Gym?
It's Tuesday and you are sore? Gym.
Even if I was super sore I did something 5 days a week for an hour and a half and man....putting the time in your body pays dividends because I forgot about my pain and everything that happened.
Once I started getting my body strong I bought 10 composition notebooks and a dozen pens. I started writing on how to get out of this situation and WHERE I want to be.
Writing helps....you are honest with yourself and the words contain your emotion. Write until it hurts and be honest...you don't even need a plan right now but you need the foundation of HONESTY....most nikkas/females on this Earth demand honesty from you but can't be honest with themselves....remember that.
Once I had a plan from all that writing I put it into effect the next following day.
I knew I couldn't work for anyone again at 37 so I bought a route and worked the fukk out of it. Dealt with a serious female hater who ran a store I stocked and other wild shyt dealing with people working for yourself but when YOU AINT CHECKING FOR ANYONE THAT IS WHEN PEOPLE COME TO YOU.
From there I sold that business to the first guy I hired and man....I just started gaining power and strength.. Despite that success...
I still wasn't talking to anyone and strangely enough, I fell deeply in love with myself again. What I mean by that is I put myself first and I am a best friend to myself. I do not lay down with females out of bordem or lust, Don't waste my sperm or my time... I do not waste my money, I work for myself and I live my life the way my Father intended for me with the lessons he taught me....far different from young men and middle-aged men who I see struggling just to "BE".
I retreated DEEP within myself to protect myself. It helped me heal and move on.
Didn't care about anyone except myself, my work and my life. Nobody came looking for me either so it tells you just how much your own people can treat you like a cold bag of fries. My mother called and that really was it a few times....brother and sister couldn't even RETURN my calls much less TEXT....but they would tell you in a heartbeat they are fine people.
I am in a FAR better place now. Doing REAL REAL well.
What is funny now is that I have to make contact with my family after this hiatus and the look on their faces....that will be a fukking trip. They still don't know what I am up to...STILL, don't know where I am but the funny thing is I KNOW EXACTLY where they are...and EXACTLY what they are doing...and that is sad.
It takes TIME and pressure on yourself to build your body...build your heart and your mind back again....but get out of your head and get busy doing something....get busy being strong and figure the shyt out but never count yourself out.
Never quit. Never quit. Never quit. Never quit. Never quit. Never quit. Never quit.
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Breh I feel your pain. If you have the money I suggest you go on vacation by a beach and some warmth. shyt did wonders for me just relaxing and just spending time let my thought drift away. You'll feel more rejuvenated to deal with shyt your dealing with when you get back.
You Win Perfect
bow down
what happened to that depression thread is it still stickied. maybe you should post in there