Sometimes I feel selfish
Everyone tells me I would’ve been a good dad. Mainly, because of how I treated my nieces and nephews. Taught my niece how to box (very simply too), tried to teach my nephews toughness and responsibility as young men that they would need when their fathers weren’t around, I have similar interests as my youngest niece so I support her artistic gifts (and still do), helped my youngest sister start her first business in HS as a photographer (which she still does on the side), etc.
Even my older sister gets a lil mad/jealous because I focus a lot on the younger relatives, which I get mixed feelings about.
And I do it mainly because I’m a big ass kid with a lot of interests and liked teaching. My moms actually wanted me to be a teacher (what’s the old saying, those that can’t do, teach). One of my favorite memories being in the military was when we had to do volunteer work and reading to young children. It was fun to me, and they looked up to us like superheroes or something.
And I just value young people. Their ideas, developing their interests, even helped some of the young guys while in the military with their music too (teaching them how to create, going to their shows for support, editing their music for free, etc). They’re the future and it’s literally like watching your own RPG character grow up.. just by what you instill in them.
I realize they are supposed to be better versions of us, and I especially want to see them succeed and not make the same mistakes by going through the same trials & tribulations while still recognizing that they do need to go through their own tough times to build up their character/self-esteem while still making their own mistakes to build up their own personal experiences.
So unfortunately (or fortunately depending on who you ask) the bus stops with me as well. But I also believe in fate so maybe it just was not meant to be.
I will still support the young people in my life and even the ones not directly related to me that really want the support. This thread actually reminded me to make some calls and reach out to a couple of the youngins I care about today, so thanks for that.
Edit: And now, I work around a lot of cats young enough to be my kids. One kid directly under me is young enough to be my son at this point, so idk how they actually view me. But I see a lot of innocence in these dudes and I think it’s funny/adorable, so I try not to lose my temper with them when they do their Gen Z lazy shyt because they are good kids. Some I actually regret not reaching out and helping them just by being around, and one of those kids got busted doing drugs. Young nikka shyt… that I could’ve easily warned him about or how to maneuver those situations.
Edit: Apologies for the long winded text, just dumping feelings out in here that I’ve thought about a lot before. Nowhere else to do it. A nikka might need to invest in a diary
