Being in your 30s with no kids and not being married puts you in a strange place.

[GoldenGlove]

I'm open to the idea of a LTR but one thing I realized as I turned in my 30's is that I find myself turning down women more and more often. I can't begin to tell you the amount of chicks that put their bid in only to later show they were nothing but a bird in disguise. From my experience I can say that women past the age of 31-32 are practically undateable. Because they got this ticking time clock going on in their bodies, they are in a rush for your full commitment. And when I say full commitment I mean moving in, kids, and marriage within 1-2 years. Women in their 20's are just looking to chill and go with the flow.

But that's just from my experience. Your mileage may vary.

From what I've seen... the reason a lot of women are like that is because they've been in serious relationships in their 20s that they feel like were an utter waste of time.

I know some guys who've strung along women through their mid-20s til they hit 30 and had no intention of marrying them, but kept selling that dream along the way. I can't blame women that age to be like that if they've come from dealing with dudes that basically played them for half a decade

 

[Lord Bison]

From what I've seen... the reason a lot of women are like that is because they've been in serious relationships in their 20s that they feel like were an utter waste of time.

I know some guys who've strung along women through their mid-20s til they hit 30 and had no intention of marrying them, but kept selling that dream along the way. I can't blame women that age to be like that if they've come from dealing with dudes that basically played them for half a decade

I feel where you coming from and I agree. The problem is that they expect me to play clean up man for the guy that they chose wrong in their 20's. I can't blame them either for acting like that, but don't expect me to be that dude to offer my commitment on a plate, when she turned down decent dudes like myself and others when she was in her 20's. It aint my problem that you chose incorrectly.

It's better to just find a mid 20's woman who recognizes real and chooses you from jump.

 

[StretfordRed]

This is very common in major cities e.g. London where I am from.

But to be honest I sit back and think - am I happy? The answer is no

I am going to Japan alone as the people who want to come are married and/or with kids. Even when going out I have to plan it around them needing to do stuff their their partners.

Weirdly enough all the women I am meeting right now are all anti-kids. It's frustrating as I know I shouldn't even think about being in a full time relationship with them. But it's really hit or miss out here

I am hoping this year I can just settle with 1 woman, who in the future would like children and would like a nice small personal marriage.

 

[HoloGraphic]

That's near the pinnacle of manhood.
20's so far is just unlearning bad habits and teaching myself a new way of life.

 

[Shorty K]

I mean, when you're 35 with your first child... you'll be 40 when they start Kindergarden, you'll be 50+ when they're in HS


I'm just saying, if you're content at 25 with who you're having a kid with, why not? What's wrong with being a younger responsible parent?

I had my first at 31 and I think about this shyt all the time.

Yeah and my 35 year old self will be able to handle a 5 year better than my 25 year old self and my 50 year old self will be better able to handle a teenager than my 40 year old self. What you got going on in your life that you're somehow better able to raise a child at 25 than 35? Do you progress as a person year by year, stagnate or decline?

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having kids younger necessarily, but I gotta question the mindset of a person who somehow believes a younger version of themself will be a better parent than an older wiser version of themself

 

[Deflatedhoopdreams]

You can have kids and be sociable still travel a lot. There's a misconception on here that your life is over with kids and you can't do anything.

This is true if you have money.

When I was child we went to Vegas. Hollywood/LA. Went to every family reunion, all my cousins graduations. Every funeral. All these were down south. We visited my grandparents in Arkansas and Alabama a few times a year. We went to The Mall of America. We went Everywhere in the US basically.

 

[GoldenGlove]

Yeah and my 35 year old self will be able to handle a 5 year better than my 25 year old self and my 50 year old self will be better able to handle a teenager than my 40 year old self. What you got going on in your life that you're somehow better able to raise a child at 25 than 35? Do you progress as a person year by year, stagnate or decline?

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having kids younger necessarily, but I gotta question the mindset of a person who somehow believes a younger version of themself will be a better parent than an older wiser version of themself

You have more energy when you're younger. You don't have to question my mindset as I had my first on the older spectrum (31) but I don't look at my friends who had kids younger like damn they ruined their young lives


They just had to grow up faster and become accountable for more than just themselves sooner.

 

[Koba St]

29,single, my own place and loving it. I’ll consider the kid thing in my early 40s.

Also, those of you thinking of having kids late, make sure she’s in her mid 20s. Don’t have kids with women in their 30s

 

[Shorty K]

You have more energy when you're younger. You don't have to question my mindset as I had my first on the older spectrum (31) but I don't look at my friends who had kids younger like damn they ruined their young lives


They just had to grow up faster and become accountable for more than just themselves sooner.

Right you have more energy but it sounds like you just haven't gotten more hip to the game of life as you've gotten older. I just don't understand because I feel like mentally I grow way more than I lose energy. My 35 year old self will be 10x the father my 25 year old self because Ima just have that much better leader/mentorship skills. It's like not even a comparison.

 

[Lamar Givens]

Yeah and my 35 year old self will be able to handle a 5 year better than my 25 year old self and my 50 year old self will be better able to handle a teenager than my 40 year old self. What you got going on in your life that you're somehow better able to raise a child at 25 than 35? Do you progress as a person year by year, stagnate or decline?

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having kids younger necessarily, but I gotta question the mindset of a person who somehow believes a younger version of themself will be a better parent than an older wiser version of themself

A lot of people have kids in their 20’s - 30’s.
Some people mature faster than others.
I’ve heard a lot of people who had kids late in life wish they had their children younger so they would have the physical ability to keep up with them.
You can’t put everyone in the same box when it comes to maturity. I’ve seen older parents who were terrible maturity wise.

 

[You Win Perfect]

Yeah it does put you in a strange place. I'm 35 & an introvert. Single w/no kids. I'm at the point now where I don't want kids (never was a kid person) and trying to find the right woman well...

I just have to put my life into serious perspective as into where I'm going. As far as dealing with ppl goes loyalty is hard to find.

people put a lot of energy into starting a family because thats the ONE thing in life you can control for sure. everything else people feel sort of helpless because it tends to not be as predictable or controllable.
thats why you have people in their twenties working at macys and dunkin talkin about starting a family but not talking about careers, investing or ownership.

there's no benefit to marriage and there's no benefit as far as children unless you have wealth or a business to pass down. majority of parents when they pass away don't pass on shyt to their children but the last name; building generations of poverty and helplessness.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Wifing a woman in her 30's is like giving Frank Gore a long-term contract.Better get a chick Leveon Bell,Alvin Kamara with age& upside

 

[Lord Bison]

Wifing a woman in her 30's is like giving Frank Gore a long-term contract.Better get a chick Leveon Bell,Alvin Kamara upside and age.

 

[klientel]

28 and I regret not having a kid a few years ago when me and my girl could have pulled it off. Now she's back in school for another 2 years and I'll be 31 she's done. I'm really not liking the thought of that....

 

[Coolin']

I'm 30, no kids, good income, own place, own car, etc. I wouldn't have it any other way! Almost all of my friends are married and/or have kids. Idgaf, I don't need to see them all the time. We're still homies.

My girl, with whom I've been for 5 months, is 31 with no kids and a good income. We do whatever tf we want.

I'm not tied down to anything. I moved from PA to my home state of CT a couple years ago. Before that, I had moved out of the country to teach English in Japan. Being a single, childless man is the shyt. I don't know what OP talmbout.

Could not have said it better myself.