Black people that grew up in the suburbs...Please enter this thread.

[Tommy Knocks]

Yes to all the above.

Altho I didnt move into the burbs til I was a teenager, so it was kinda like Fresh Prince.

 

[Chris Cool]

1) Born in the 90, stayed in south central in the 90s, but moved to burbs in 99. I say it helped me, my brothers (who still live in south central) basically threw they life away gang banging in shyt and i find them to be exempt closer moved

2) Naw. Where i grew up majority Mexican, but there were people of all races. Basically if you trying to "make it out the hood" in LA, you move to the Inland empire. It ain't all sunshines and rainbows though. Some places you gotta watch out. Really the only criticism I've got is my dad has calling me soft. That nikka sorry though.

3) Never. Like i said all races.

4) Absolutely.

 

[philmonroe]

I have some questions for you....

1) how did growing up in the burbs help you or hurt you?
2) have you ever been chastised or ridiculed by other black people because of your background?
3) have you ever been patronized by white people because of your background? (Ie...saying stuff like "you're different", "you're not like the others")
4) would you raise your own family in the suburbs?

I just figured this could be a useful thread for everybody involved.

1. It did nothing but I also lived in the "hood" at times too.

2 and 3 Sorry if y'all getting either one of those I think that's a personal problem sorry.

4. Why not I'm not on the coli I have to live in the "hood" whatever that means to make a difference and if you want to be around all or majority blacks that can be easily done if that's what you choose. Honestly only certain people feel ashamed of having resources and I don't get it.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

I grew up in the city, but moved to an all white and Asian high upper class suburb for high school. Almost every black kid except for a few were c00ns or corny. The ones that weren't were new arrivals like me. It was pretty horrible to be honest.. the micro-agressions and indirect shunning is moreso annoying than hurtful, but that's cause I already knew what it was and didn't want to integrate.. but I got a free education at one of the best public schools in the nation. It definitely opened my eyes to a lot of harsh realities of America. I would never raise my family in the typical suburbs where it's boring as fukk and every house looks the same. Have to raise my family in a major city.

So did I... I dropped out immediately

Ended up going to a few alternative schools in state. Definitely more of a mixed crowd, which I prefer. Mostly white schools are gay af

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

1) growing up in the burbs helped me cause I was able to have the advantage of going to good schools (attended private schools from grade school to even college....for a year..lol). Also like @Colicat said I stayed a kid and didn't grow up too soon. I wouldn't trade my childhood or teenage years for the world.

It hurt me cause I'll say I ended up growing up kind of spoiled with kind of an unrealistic sense of the world that shattered as I got older...especially in regards to race. We were surrounded by tons of whites, asians, indians, etc. I had an awareness of my blackness in regards to being different on an individual level but not in the broader scope of society. I kind of had this view of myself as white in my younger years...As in I was a this token black guy that somehow was impervious to the greater effects of racism mainly because I didn't have a real idea of it. As well, my folks are Nigerian and West Indian and they had some indifference towards African Americans. Part of me thinks they tried to separate ourselves from AAs (they didn't want us listening to hip hop they yelled at me for sagging my pants, they told us only "gang members" did that...but this was in the 90s when that was just the style back then. Skaters, ravers, alt kids were all about that). This hurt me and my siblings because it gave this idea to separate ourselves from people that we could identify with. Luckily the older I got the more black folks I surrounded myself by...my older sister however still has that mentality and has no friends at all let alone black friends.

It wasn't until I got older that I saw that my parents and their mentality failed us as we got older. They thought that sending us to good schools and telling us to go to college would be it. They didn't prepare us for the workforce after college at all nor did they even try to give us an idea how being black would play it's role in it in the future. I personally attribute this to their cultural differences that they were unable to gage the American environment for us to navigate in it. Which probably is the reason why I'm at where I'm at now with the successes I've had and where my older sister is. I use her as an example because my parents always coddled her and gave her so much attention and I didn't even get half of that growing up. They would Always yell at me and we constantly have spats and disagreements and arguments. Whereas they seemed to worship the ground that my older sister walked on.

Here I am at 30. Probably not where I want to be. But hell...I hosted three radio shows on three well known radio stations, have played live promoting my own music in nyc, pittsburgh, down south, Have had several jobs, live in new York now. I struggled on my own...made 9th through with some help...but really I had nothing and no one. Whereas all my white peers had all the assistance and perks and everything that comes with white privilege. I had to find out how cruel the world was to us on my own and I'm still here.

Her? Shell be 34 this year. Living at home since dropping out of Columbia pre med back in 2005. All she does is cook, clean, and watch tv. Hasn't had a job in seven years. Imo. ..she's a failure.

 

[Doobie Doo]

1) Honestly I can't say, there would have to be some alternative realty where I grew up in the hood to really contrast and compare how it affected me. I can say I wasn't the biggest fan of my suburban neighborhood because I was the only black male kid in my age bracket. I had plenty of white friends of my neighborhood who I played with but at school most of my friends were black and lived about 5-10 miles from me.


2) When I cam e to NC at 18 years of age to go to school at an HBCU all my friends were black and mostly from the hood. The one's at school kind of chastised me cuz I was a little square but nothing too major. However my black friends outside of school who I made rap music with were a little more harsher. Of course it was out of jealously. Most of them grew up in the projects with no father. At first it greatly bothered to be accepted by a group of hood nikkas for your music but lowkey being hated on but once I figured it out I dropped they asses and started dealing with smarter people.

3) Never, if anything growing up in the burbs made me want to prove my blackness even more and make me more conscience of the interactive differences between races.

4) Yes I would assuming the ratio of crime is the same. With gentrification I notice more white folks reclaiming urban areas in the city which is pushing people out forcing them bakc to the suburbs. By the time I'm ready to have kids the suburbs could be poverty ridden and filled with violence.

 

[Adidacs]

1) growing up in the burbs helped me cause I was able to have the advantage of going to good schools (attended private schools from grade school to even college....for a year..lol). Also like @Colicat said I stayed a kid and didn't grow up too soon. I wouldn't trade my childhood or teenage years for the world.

It hurt me cause I'll say I ended up growing up kind of spoiled with kind of an unrealistic sense of the world that shattered as I got older...especially in regards to race. We were surrounded by tons of whites, asians, indians, etc. I had an awareness of my blackness in regards to being different on an individual level but not in the broader scope of society. I kind of had this view of myself as white in my younger years...As in I was a this token black guy that somehow was impervious to the greater effects of racism mainly because I didn't have a real idea of it. As well, my folks are Nigerian and West Indian and they had some indifference towards African Americans. Part of me thinks they tried to separate ourselves from AAs (they didn't want us listening to hip hop they yelled at me for sagging my pants, they told us only "gang members" did that...but this was in the 90s when that was just the style back then. Skaters, ravers, alt kids were all about that). This hurt me and my siblings because it gave this idea to separate ourselves from people that we could identify with. Luckily the older I got the more black folks I surrounded myself by...my older sister however still has that mentality and has no friends at all let alone black friends.

It wasn't until I got older that I saw that my parents and their mentality failed us as we got older. They thought that sending us to good schools and telling us to go to college would be it. They didn't prepare us for the workforce after college at all nor did they even try to give us an idea how being black would play it's role in it in the future. I personally attribute this to their cultural differences that they were unable to gage the American environment for us to navigate in it. Which probably is the reason why I'm at where I'm at now with the successes I've had and where my older sister is. I use her as an example because my parents always coddled her and gave her so much attention and I didn't even get half of that growing up. They would Always yell at me and we constantly have spats and disagreements and arguments. Whereas they seemed to worship the ground that my older sister walked on.

Here I am at 30. Probably not where I want to be. But hell...I hosted three radio shows on three well known radio stations, have played live promoting my own music in nyc, pittsburgh, down south, Have had several jobs, live in new York now. I struggled on my own...made 9th through with some help...but really I had nothing and no one. Whereas all my white peers had all the assistance and perks and everything that comes with white privilege. I had to find out how cruel the world was to us on my own and I'm still here.

Her? Shell be 34 this year. Living at home since dropping out of Columbia pre med back in 2005. All she does is cook, clean, and watch tv. Hasn't had a job in seven years. Imo. ..she's a failure.

This nikka went in hard on his sister.

Did she just drop out for no reason?

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

aint no black suburbs out here at least not ones i'd want to raise a family in. the east oakland hills off golf links/98th.keller/skyline used to have a good amount of successful black folks, i don't know if that's still true with gentrification taking over. there are white areas i like - nice weather, nice homes, great schools that are 5-15 minles from oakland, i wouldn't be opposed to raising kids out there either, parents just gotta do their part to keep their kids connected to their culture

 

[Momentum]

To answer the question, I'm me.

I went off to college and became a thug for a good year, then got a job with the school and became a prep. I found a healthy medium somewhere in the middle.

I still dress nice and still read nerdy books and shyt but I also go to the "hood" like every day to be around my people. I think it's pretty much the best of both worlds. Ain't nothing like having random convos with the elders and they can tell you're around the hood because you want to.... that's when they drop them jewels.

Would I raise my kids how I was raised? Hmmm.... probably. I grew up in the burbs but my parents took me to the hood (their hometown) every summer until middle school. I always saw the best of both worlds, I just had to find my own balance with it as an adult. I'd encourage my children to learn about how other black people have to live/the ills of the system and at the same time push them to want the best.

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

The rest.

Which leads me to number two. Yes. I've been called everything you can think of from other black people. I've been called an "oreo", an uncle tom, a "white boy", I've had other black people make fun of the way I talk, they way I dressed, cause I liked skateboarding, cause I listened to punk, metal, techno and other electronic music, but the older I got I gravitated to more black people cause I knew who I was as an African and a black person first and foremost.

3. Not alot, but enough to stand out in my head. I do me...first and foremost.

4. No. If i even do have kids. Unless it's a predominantly black suburb, I would never raise my kids in the burbs especially if it meant isolating them from their own people. I live in Brooklyn in the near gentrified hood. Most of my friends here are black and spanish. I don't really hang out with that many white people. I stopped being friends with alot of them. Especially some day ones...This one long term friend I had...we were cool up until recently then he started getting money and becoming successful and started flaunting it. And bragging about how many women he had sex with...well I was I a rut homeless sleeping in car for a couple of days (was in between living situations) and I asked him if he could help me out with some money (which is something I never do and I only did cause he said I could). All he could say was I'm sorry, why don't you go get a job with uber, and a bunch of nonsense. We went into it and I said to him that the only reason your successful is because your white in a racist country that serves your interests. Back in the day, when we were hanging out and women were around they would almost always gravitate towards me and never you cause they thought you were ugly. The only reason women give a shyt about you now is because you got money and that's literally it.

And that was that...He tried to give some kind words after the fact that really seemed nervously spat because I guess he was starting the see the points I made and I just told him to leave me alone with your non advice and that I didn't need your pity. And that was that.

That really set it in my head that as a black person you can't trust white people at all. When your on the same level they'll be cool with you but when they're doing better than you their true colors come out.

 

[Arishok]

I spent my childhood in the hood and my teens years in the burbs but the neighborhood was majority black (59% black, 30% white) I didn't feel like a miniority until I came to college.

I would love to raise my children in the same neighborhood.

 

[scarlxrd]

3) have you ever been patronized by white people because of your background? (Ie...saying stuff like "you're different", "you're not like the others")

I've gotten that simply for how I talk, from both sides actually.

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

This nikka went in hard on his sister.

Did she just drop out for no reason?

I honestly don't know. I really think it was the fact that she just couldn't hang. She would always talk about her interactions with AAs as if they were aliens. It really was embarrassing to hear then and now. She's a real shut in and seems to not like to interact with people. Whereas I'm a very big people person at times.

My dad's a doctor and he pressured the rest of my siblings to purse the same path. I personally just couldn't handle blood and stuff I would go to work with him sometimes at his hospital and watch TV while he made his rounds. It wasn't for me. I was more about creative stuff.

My older sister has no idea if any of what she wants to do in life...frankly I just think it's too late for her.

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

To answer the question, I'm me.

I went off to college and became a thug for a good year, then got a job with the school and became a prep. I found a healthy medium somewhere in the middle.

I still dress nice and still read nerdy books and shyt but I also go to the "hood" like every day to be around my people. I think it's pretty much the best of both worlds. Ain't nothing like having random convos with the elders and they can tell you're around the hood because you want to.... that's when they drop them jewels.

Would I raise my kids how I was raised? Hmmm.... probably. I grew up in the burbs but my parents took me to the hood (their hometown) every summer until middle school. I always saw the best of both worlds, I just had to find my own balance with it as an adult. I'd encourage my children to learn about how other black people have to live/the ills of the system and at the same time push them to want the best.

I feel ya on the last part...my family would take us to Newark then NYC every year to visit family on my mom's side from the time I was five until I was in high school. And this was back in the 90s when Newark was really rough and New York was even rougher.

 

[Momentum]

I feel ya on the last part...my family would take us to Newark then NYC every year to visit family on my mom's side from the time I was five until I was in high school. And this was back in the 90s when Newark was really rough and New York was even rougher.

I was the same way except it was the DMV area.

My Uncles used to be force me to go to shady neighborhoods with them on errands and shyt. Looking back, it probably removed my fear of the "hood" because I saw some crazy shyt and they were treating it as normal.