Brehs, I need some real life relationship advice

[2pac_Westside]

Whats good brehs. So I've been with my girl for 4.5 years now, I'm 27, She's 31 (32 next month)

Our relationship for the most part has been great, full of trust, love etc...Basically what you would want out of a relationship, we've lived together for about 3.5 years

The problem I'm facing now is she wants to get engaged and have kids in the next 2-3 years (which is understandable since women have a biological clock)... she's basically hit me with an ultimatum, either we're engaged by the end of this year or she's out... i completely get where she's coming from

I personally do not feel ready to get married and have kids especially in 2-3 years.. I feel like if i didnt have to have kids in 2-3 years i would be more open to marriage..i can't predict how i will feel in 2-3 years, only how i feel now, and how i feel now, i'm no where near ready for kids... keep in mind i do want kids, just not in that time frame

I've never cheated on my girl however I do have thoughts about the single life and smashin bytches at times (but will that ever go away?) I think she would be a great wife and great mother to my kids so it has little to do with her, its just me feeling young and unaccomplished in life still

so my options are to get engaged within the next couple weeks or go single.. i've been going back and fourth about this for a year or so now, but i'm about to be out of time... any feedback is appreciated..

 

[MAKAVELI25]

Whats good brehs. So I've been with my girl for 4.5 years now, I'm 27, She's 31 (32 next month)

Our relationship for the most part has been great, full of trust, love etc...Basically what you would want out of a relationship, we've lived together for about 3.5 years

The problem I'm facing now is she wants to get engaged and have kids in the next 2-3 years (which is understandable since women have a biological clock)... she's basically hit me with an ultimatum, either we're engaged by the end of this year or she's out... i completely get where she's coming from

I personally do not feel ready to get married and have kids especially in 2-3 years.. I feel like if i didnt have to have kids in 2-3 years i would be more open to marriage..i can't predict how i will feel in 2-3 years, only how i feel now, and how i feel now, i'm no where near ready for kids... keep in mind i do want kids, just not in that time frame

I've never cheated on my girl however I do have thoughts about the single life and smashin bytches at times (but will that ever go away?) I think she would be a great wife and great mother to my kids so it has little to do with her, its just me feeling young and unaccomplished in life still

so my options are to get engaged within the next couple weeks or go single.. i've been going back and fourth about this for a year or so now, but i'm about to be out of time... any feedback is appreciated..

Marriage is not a decision you want to be coerced in to, EVER. You're a 27 year old man, presumably you've got a stable job and you're in decent physical condition. You're in the prime of your life, sure it's gonna hurt for a while if you break up with her, but a couple of months of regret over breaking up>>>A lifetime of regret over being forced in to marriage

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Let her go breh...

You fukked up for getting In a relationship during your male hoe phase

 

[TooLazyToMakeUp1]

If y'alls expectations for the relationship aren't compatible, break it off.

Have a conversation and let her know. Might want to buy her some liqour, a teddy bear and some old 90's Mary J. Blidge Cd's as a parting gift

 

[no.]

Yeah, well, sounds like you've had a great lasting relationship up until this point, but... if you're not ready to bring a kid into it, don't. You have to tell her that. She'll probably leave then, but hey, anything else wouldn't be fair to her and wouldn't be fair to you, either. So yeah, if she wants to walk, let her walk.

 

[Medio]

thoughts about smashin bytches will never go away, it's part of being a man and it's good you have those thoughts. it's part of strong part of relationship - the resisting of temptation. if you didn't want to smash other bytches temptation wouldn't exist. the fact you can resist makes you a very strong man.

I would say, have kids when you are ready. If you don't want kids do not have them. Assure her that you will be there for her in 2-3 years and you will still have beautiful healthy kids. I'm 25, and I do not even plan on having kids before i'm AT LEAST 30.

Go to the quick lil gems with dealing with womens thread also

 

[Dolla$]

Listen to your heart and go with it. You will be miserable if you go against how you really feel just to make someone happy.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I don't understand why you come to the coli to assist you in any aspect of your real life.
You don't have any fukking friends you can talk to about this?

 

[Medulla Oblongata]

Don't get into one.

 

[2pac_Westside]

Marriage is not a decision you want to be coerced in to, EVER. You're a 27 year old man, presumably you've got a stable job and you're in decent physical condition. You're in the prime of your life, sure it's gonna hurt for a while if you break up with her, but a couple of months of regret over breaking up>>>A lifetime of regret over being forced in to marriage

yea i have a good career and am in decent physical condition

I don't understand why you come to the coli to assist you in any aspect of your real life.
You don't have any fukking friends you can talk to about this?

trust me, i've bugged my friends about this shyt for a minute, sometimes its good to see how outsiders feel about the situation

 

[Blankthawtz]

first off...NEVER let ANYONE pressure u into makin up your own mind....thats your right as a man....

second....if you ain't ready then thats coo...u need to let her know that and ask her is she willing to lose you because of it...

third....ask yourself....can you live without her?...not on some finance/support shyt..but can you see livin the rest of your life without her?..if you can then u need to move on and live your single life till u find the one u really want....but if u can't see yourself without her then she may be the one u don't want to let get away...and in that case you need to do some serious soul searchin breh....is chasin diff ass every night worth it over her?

i'm bout to marry my fiance.....but i also did a lot shyt in my life...fukked a lot...traveled...got my degrees....and i've reach the point where i know i'm ready to settle...i got my son/fiance/home i'm just solidifying it by wife'n the woman i love.....one thing is certain...no one made my mind up but me....dig deep breh....

 

[Hybrinetics]

I don't understand why you come to the coli to assist you in any aspect of your real life.
You don't have any fukking friends you can talk to about this?

negative ass nancy

 

[Ego Noir]

only a fukk nikka would get engaged because she gave you an ultimatim.


Honestly breh dont let her pull that shyt cause for one, if she forces your ass into a marriage thats going to remain a mark in her mind, and best believe when she wants something from that point on, shell be throwing that same energy at you.


Shes older and shes trying to flex on you, cut that shyt short now. Cause if you dont, she will get controlling.

Dont say no like youre turning her down, dont p*ssy foot around it, dont be aggressive neither. Put your foot down as a man (firmly yet in a way as to not invite confrontation) and let her know no, it aint happening, because blahzay blah. And stand firm on it. You execute this right she'll probably suck your dikk within the hour, cause she just saw a man.

Spoiler

either that or she gets mad and probably yells and when shes finished yelling not talk to you for a few days. She might even end up leaving you but hey, that shows she ultimately wasnt a keeper

If she fights back at the above, she wouldve definitely ended up controlling you in that marriage

 

[YaThreadTrashB!]

run to the hills...

 

[Taadow]

Whats good brehs.

Chillin' an' sheeit...

So I've been with my girl for 4.5 years now, I'm 27, She's 31 (32 next month)

Our relationship for the most part has been great, full of trust, love etc...Basically what you would want out of a relationship, we've lived together for about 3.5 years

The problem I'm facing now is she wants to get engaged and have kids in the next 2-3 years (which is understandable since women have a biological clock)... she's basically hit me with an ultimatum, either we're engaged by the end of this year or she's out... i completely get where she's coming from

Mayne...I personally don't do that ultimatum chit AT ALL. That is a deal breaker for The Boy.

I personally do not feel ready to get married and have kids especially in 2-3 years.. I feel like if i didnt have to have kids in 2-3 years i would be more open to marriage..i can't predict how i will feel in 2-3 years, only how i feel now, and how i feel now, i'm no where near ready for kids... keep in mind i do want kids, just not in that time frame

This makes sense to me...

I've never cheated on my girl however I do have thoughts about the single life and smashin bytches at times (but will that ever go away?)

No. It will not.
It will never eva, eva eva, eva eva, eva eva eva eva, GO AWAY!! (WHAT??)

GO AWAY!! (WHAT??)

GO AWAY!! (WHAT??)

GO AWAY!!


You just have to deal with that ish, mayne...it's a hard pill, but that's what it is...

I think she would be a great wife and great mother to my kids so it has little to do with her, its just me feeling young and unaccomplished in life still

so my options are to get engaged within the next couple weeks or go single.. i've been going back and fourth about this for a year or so now, but i'm about to be out of time... any feedback is appreciated..

Being fair...what would have to change for you to not be "young and unaccomplished in life"?

I mean - you do think she would be a good mother, and you do want kids...is it a bread thang??
Like, if you hit a big-ass lick tomorrow and was sittin' fat, would that change your mind?