Brehs who split bills 50/50 but expect submission, why?

[Gloxina]

I know this is your experience, and I'm not invalidating it, but this is the woman's role period.

Just as I told him the rule is only for him, your scenario and belief is only for you. I know women personally that just loved the guy. A friend left his fiance were having non-financial issues at one point and she was begging for him back, she told me from her mouth that she just wanted him back, she makes alot of money, much more than him, and he could work his job for the next 20 years she didn't care she just wanted him back.

I know a couple where the woman is an actual surgeon who makes way more money than her husband, and he is accomplished in the military, and retired early but does not make nearly as much as her. They could be pretending, but they seem very happy and have been together a very long time, and travel together alot when they're both free.

If her happiness is based on his financials(or even her own) then she has a problem. As long as your expenses are covered, and you are all healthy there should be no issue. If you're blessed with more, then great. If you have a man that has done his absolute best(we can tell in our relationships when somebody is pulling their weight and trying their best) and your happiness is based on his accomplishments, then you dont need to be with anyone because you will never be happy, as happiness is internal.

It’s not about a woman’s happiness being tied to a man’s accomplishments.

It’s about not acknowledging how much more tired and worn down a woman’s body will become if she’s doing double duty FOR DECADES.
Yes, it’s a woman’s role —period.

If that’s the case, being a provider is a man’s role —period.

If a woman is bearing children, going back to work FT, cleaning the house and doing all the cooking on top of that…….. I mean something has to give.

If I get home from work everyday at 630 you’re going to wait for me to make dinner when you’re home by 4 or home all day? Every day?? You home all day but won’t wash dishes or run the vacuum because that’s my role, even though I’m contributing to YOUR role?

That’s what I’m talking about. I think that’s wild.

And if your guy is older and retired from his career so he’s home, that isn’t the same as a man who can’t contribute financially. That retirement money is still actually going into the household/lifestyle/is available in the advent the wife falls ill and can’t work.

 

[Dwayne_Taylor]

Any woman who doesn't want to pay half is lazy and selfish and doesn't love you. She only loves what you give her.

Get finessed brehs

 

[Gloxina]

I know this is your experience, and I'm not invalidating it, but this is the woman's role period.

Just as I told him the rule is only for him, your scenario and belief is only for you. I know women personally that just loved the guy. A friend left his fiance were having non-financial issues at one point and she was begging for him back, she told me from her mouth that she just wanted him back, she makes alot of money, much more than him, and he could work his job for the next 20 years she didn't care she just wanted him back.

I know a couple where the woman is an actual surgeon who makes way more money than her husband, and he is accomplished in the military, and retired early but does not make nearly as much as her. They could be pretending, but they seem very happy and have been together a very long time, and travel together alot when they're both free.

If her happiness is based on his financials(or even her own) then she has a problem. As long as your expenses are covered, and you are all healthy there should be no issue. If you're blessed with more, then great. If you have a man that has done his absolute best(we can tell in our relationships when somebody is pulling their weight and trying their best) and your happiness is based on his accomplishments, then you dont need to be with anyone because you will never be happy, as happiness is internal.

And if we’re talking about love, how you love your woman and watch her shoulder the finances AND take care of the home and not want to help alleviate that burden? We see her love, where is HIS LOVE FOR HER? Just being around? His presence is enough? Lol
Because men who are against being sole providers say a woman’s presence isn’t enough, so why is a man’s presence enough?

 

[⠀X ⠀]

Because at the end of the day she still expects me to protect her and if something happens, to risk my life and even die for her. You can’t do that for someone who doesn’t submit to your leadership.

 

[Phitz]

It’s not about a woman’s happiness being tied to a man’s accomplishments.

It’s about not acknowledging how much more tired and worn down a woman’s body will become if she’s doing double duty FOR DECADES.
Yes, it’s a woman’s role —period.

If that’s the case, being a provider is a man’s role —period.

If a woman is bearing children, going back to work FT, cleaning the house and doing all the cooking on top of that…….. I mean something has to give.

If I get home from work everyday at 630 you’re going to wait for me to make dinner when you’re home by 4 or home all day? Every day?? You home all day but won’t wash dishes or run the vacuum because that’s my role, even though I’m contributing to YOUR role?

That’s what I’m talking about. I think that’s wild.

And if your guy is older and retired from his career so he’s home, that isn’t the same as a man who can’t contribute financially. That retirement money is still actually going into the household/lifestyle/is available in the advent the wife falls ill and can’t work.

you post as if the man is sitting at home all day doing nothing, I posted what most men I saw doing(me included) while the woman did her role.

Your scenarios are specific and made up, you're creating a strawman and arguing with it

that las statement about being retired makes no sense, it's like you pulled something out of left field, but to speak to it...most people these days retire and work other jobs after retirement. Everyone's retirement is not alot so they end up working jobs to supplement retirement income. This is today's reality.

Everyone is tired, even if they are doing their roles, everyone will be tired, its life.



this is what I posted below, men get tired too, and do this.. this is part of life period. ARe you going to do the outside work if you expect him to share doing work in the kitchen? If not then suck it up and make it work...

Furthermore if she wants help doing domestic work because shes tired and/or because you make less, that mean's she will help doing outside work, everything involved with auto maintenance, plumbing, cutting grass, wash/clean the car etc. I do my own auto maintenance, minor sink and toilet repairs, computer repair etc. I also do hers. I dont help her in the kitchen.

Dont be scammed into doing everything. If you're looking after her car and home maintenence, machine issues, or any other handy work, she has no business asking you to help her do anything in the kitchen, whether she's tired after work or not.

 

[Phitz]

And if we’re talking about love, how you love your woman and watch her shoulder the finances AND take care of the home and not want to help alleviate that burden? We see her love, where is HIS LOVE FOR HER? Just being around? His presence is enough? Lol
Because men who are against being sole providers say a woman’s presence isn’t enough, so why is a man’s presence enough?

stop creating scenarios where the man does not contribute to the home in any way. It's more than just the paycheck.

I've had 2 long term relationships where one made 95k and the other made 105k, every time I went over there they had food ready for me and enough to take home. This waas standard just in my relationships, and not marriage. If they had issues with their car, washing machine, computer, furniture, electronics, gardening they just called me. Take a man out of the picture and avg women can not handle those on their own, or they get fleeced at best. You all drive around with bald tires and have a room with an uninstalled ceiling fan.

 

[DatBoiHawk]

We the group at the lowest on the totem pole as far as finances, but we the ones debating EVERY fukkING DAY about who pays all the bills and this 50/50 BULLshyt. Can’t we move on to more productive conversations? 90 percent of the people bringing this shyt up all the time aren’t even married! How about we debate coming together and building some shyt instead of discussions that divide? It’s redundant and like someone said earlier it’s like this shyt is purposely brought up in our community man it’s gotta be some outside nefarious forces promoting this shyt all nikkas wanna talk about is who gon pay all the bills, do women need to cook, and russel Wilson

 

[The_Sheff]

Why do yall make life so fukking hard? Sometimes I cook, sometimes my wife cooks. Sometimes I clean the living room, sometimes she cleans the living room. She hates laundry so I do that, I hate cleaning the bathroom so she does that.

We split bills 50/50, mostly because of shyt she wants.

Have no issues with whatever this submissive shyt is yall talking about.

 

[Gloxina]

you post as if the man is sitting at home all day doing nothing, I posted what most men I saw doing(me included) while the woman did her role.

Your scenarios are specific and made up, you're creating a strawman and arguing with it

that las statement about being retired makes no sense, it's like you pulled something out of left field, but to speak to it...most people these days retire and work other jobs after retirement. Everyone's retirement is not alot so they end up working jobs to supplement retirement income. This is today's reality.

Everyone is tired, even if they are doing their roles, everyone will be tired, its life.



this is what I posted below, men get tired too, and do this.. this is part of life period. ARe you going to do the outside work if you expect him to share doing work in the kitchen? If not then suck it up and make it work...

None of the retired folks in my fam went back to the workforce, unless they’re just consulting from their home office because the money was too good to ignore ‍♀
So the people who retired are still contributing to the households in a great way. But you’re right, that’s what I’ve seen.

Well then we aren’t too far off then. The thing I talk about is egalitarian relationships. There are men who literally do not attempt to provide for a family or put out max effort and expect to be regarded the same way as a man who CAN fully provide.
A man who is fully providing can expect to not lift a finger inside the house because he can afford for his wife to stay home and tend to everything, including rearing the children and handling their schedules/activities.
One of my homegirls married into a traditional family like that— when she got married her husband’s mom and sister handed her a book with a bunch of info for him. His sister was responsible for making all his doctors’ appointments, scheduling things for him, etc and that is now my girls responsibility. But she’s home all day with the children, so she can literally tend to all his needs.

You have dudes who are expecting stuff like that while their woman is working all day just like them. Now, if he is handling things around the house as well, I can dig it. I’m talking about the men watching women do it all, because it “all” also includes her role.

 

[Gloxina]

We the group at the lowest on the totem pole as far as finances, but we the ones debating EVERY fukkING DAY about who pays all the bills and this 50/50 BULLshyt. Can’t we move on to more productive conversations? 90 percent of the people bringing this shyt up all the time aren’t even married! How about we debate coming together and building some shyt instead of discussions that divide? It’s redundant and like someone said earlier it’s like this shyt is purposely brought up in our community man it’s gotta be some outside nefarious forces promoting this shyt

Totally agree.

Everybody works, everybody contributes to maintaining the home and rearing the children. That seems like the smartest distribution of labor for working couples/households.

I don’t know why we can’t settle this stuff.

 

[UpNext]

We the group at the lowest on the totem pole as far as finances, but we the ones debating EVERY fukkING DAY about who pays all the bills and this 50/50 BULLshyt. Can’t we move on to more productive conversations? 90 percent of the people bringing this shyt up all the time aren’t even married! How about we debate coming together and building some shyt instead of discussions that divide? It’s redundant and like someone said earlier it’s like this shyt is purposely brought up in our community man it’s gotta be some outside nefarious forces promoting this shyt all nikkas wanna talk about is who gon pay all the bills, do women need to cook, and russel Wilson

Folks aren't married because of issues like this so they got to express and talk about them somewhere. Burying your head in the sand and calling a discussion BS because it bothers you for some reason isn't helping anyone.

 

[HabitualChiller]

Women want men who are BETTER than them.

Smarter, more aggressive about meeting his goals, taller, more athletic, etc.

So if she makes more than you she is probably smarter than you. And yes, I know women can be bad with money and make poor choices but when it comes to pure aptitude your income is an indicator of that.

Being with a woman who is smarter than you is a recipe for disaster. Don’t do it. If she is smarter it should be in areas that don’t really matter to you and your success. But if she can outearn you by a lot ($20k, $50k etc) she is smarter where it really counts.

Just my opinion. My husband is smarter than me in just about every area except child rearing. He defers to me on all that.

Why would I get with a woman that I'm clearly better than?

Why am I working so hard on my mind, body, and income just to end up with someone beneath me?

fukk alladat, I'm looking for an equal or near-equal.

 

[GodinDaFlesh]

Women want men who are BETTER than them.

Smarter, more aggressive about meeting his goals, taller, more athletic, etc.

So if she makes more than you she is probably smarter than you. And yes, I know women can be bad with money and make poor choices but when it comes to pure aptitude your income is an indicator of that.

Being with a woman who is smarter than you is a recipe for disaster. Don’t do it. If she is smarter it should be in areas that don’t really matter to you and your success. But if she can outearn you by a lot ($20k, $50k etc) she is smarter where it really counts.

Just my opinion. My husband is smarter than me in just about every area except child rearing. He defers to me on all that.

Some big booty stripper on OnlyFans probably makes more money than you and your husband. Is she smarter than both of you?

 

[Pegasus Jackson]

Is she gonna go 50/50 when that home invasion pops off at 4am?