Honestly, I’ve seen and heard it from both men and women. They’ll tell you what color their newborn is before they even say if they have 10 fingers and toes if the baby is light. Just look around on this site and see how skin color is used to quantify women’s attractivenes (redbone, yellowbone, etc). You don’t notice until you really notice. But we’re living in a white society. So it is what it is.
I do try to be empathetic because I’ve seen darker women in my friend group get completely ignored by men and sometimes men are almost hostile. But I’ve also gotten ignored if I was with better looking friends so I didnt take it that deeply (for example one of my dark skinned friends is absolutely beautiful). But I remember dating a dark skinned breh a long time ago and he told me he usually only dates light skinned women and went on to tell me how many white girls he dated in the past. I kept it moving and didn’t think much of it. But a person with lower self esteem may have taken it differently. And thinking back, how hurt did he have to be to even say that to me? So I don’t deny what people feel because it’s real and these things happen often.
We are told daily that Black people are less than overall and then within the Black race there’s an unofficial caste system of worthiness by phenotype. If you ask children who’s the most attractive person in their class they will more than likely say a person who’s light, mixed or non black. It’s a lot that’s deeply ingrained, so I try to not be too harsh on people and just encourage everyone to love themselves. If you can’t do that, no one else will.
But one thing I do believe is that denial is not the solution. Just with anything else you see it, accept it, try to instill love and confidence in your own kids, and move on.
Always with the super villain origin stories. As to why black people don’t date each other. If you want to date out do it. The only people that’s stopping you. Is the white people they desire lol.
