Can we be honest about marriage and backgrounds?

[Suleiman Bey]

They have very much to do not with race but ethnicity. There a lot of nuances in being a black American. Some people don't like us because of those nuances other people love us because of those nuances but they are there.

And some black people don't like other black people from the same block because his dad is at home, because he wears Nike, because he wears walmart clothes. People dislike and make fun of people regardless of upbringing, race, gender, whatever crap you want to hurl.

 

[Verbal Kint]

of course it's easier. There are shared cultural experiences that don't need to be explained which shrinks the learning curve between two people. America is one of the few places and times in the history of the world where people are really encouraged to marry those from different cultural groups. Even arranged marriages back in the day were between separate families and maybe separate clans/regions but they usually shared a religion and a larger culture. Its hard enough bringing together people from completely different family cultures

 

[MidniteJay]

I'm not saying you have to but it's not a bad idea in the long run. I'm pretty sure you're more likely to long-term marital happiness with another Haitian woman then was a black woman from the southside of Chicago from a working-class family. Of course it could work yeah sure but the odds are in favor of you being happier with another Haitian woman.

I see where you're coming from but your guide kinda puts brehs like me in a hole. The Haitian American population is way too small to try and find my type, especially where I am. I think it's better to find someone who shares your drive, beliefs and morals.

 

[invalid]

. I responded with disdain for the state of Alabama. From the look on her face I could tell she could not understand where I was coming from.

I’m AA and you would have to explain to me why you would have a look of disgust on your face. My families roots are in the south, our history is in the south, our families are still in the south. I’m not looking down in disdain on the South. The South has had a fukked up history, yes, but the people are the nicest people that I have ever met. Even the white folks.

The problems is, with a few exceptions, the farther you go down on the totem pole of any culture, the more myopic you are in your thinking. Which is why you can look at Alabama in disgust. Which is why your friend could make snide remarks about Jamaican food. Which is why some people could look at Haiti and call it the gutter. If your intellectual capacity is minimal, then yes, it makes sense to marry someone within your little block or little village. But for those of us that can see beyond and appreciate cultural nuances and diversity that challenges us, we have no problem marrying outside of our scope.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

You don't see the strength that being with somebody from the same tribe as you are though? What city are you from if you don't mind me asking?

I'm from the west, we got all types. And now I live in Atlanta which also has all types. The people you described sound ignorant. I'm an international player and never offended someone off my lack of knowledge of their culture. If it's something I'm not familiar with I just ask and learn quick. we bond from the learning experience. Even if it's something I'm a little familiar with, I'll still ask just to get their take on it. Men love to think they are teaching you something anyway lol

But yeah, get with someone who has multiple stamps in the passport, this might not be an issue

 

[GnauzBookOfRhymes]

Only time I'll ever concern myself enough to comment on with who someone decides to marry is when I see young, Black newly wealthy athletes/entertainers rushing to marry some basic white chick whose family would exile her if it weren't for the fact that her new husband is a multi millionaire.

Other than that, these kinds of posts give me the "white boy masquerading as Black" vibes.

 

[Commish]

Of course you're right in every regard. But you're honestly going to tell me that you don't think you will have more success with a woman of your own background?

Honestly, in this day and age, I am not sure? Human relations is more complex than what is discussed in this thread.

As you know, most people interact with people from their own ethnic and cultural background, but not all. Some people fair well dealing with people from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds while others don’t.

My point is..

We all have free will. We should do what we feel is in our own best interest, whether it pans out well or not.

You can get with a woman from your C&E background and shyt doesn’t work out. But, do you charge it to her being from your C&E background? Or, do you charge it to you simply hooking up with the wrong person?

I really take issue with Black folks policing other Black folks on who they should deal within the relationship and marriage side of the game. I think it is utter bullshyt! If you are dead set in getting with a FBA woman and building a family with her, then do that! But, to tell another person that their choices and decisions isn’t a good look for them w/o you even establishing some sort of rapport with that person is beyond intrusive, rude and disrespectful!

Let people do them and you keep doing you!

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

Blocked.

 

[mrfortune]

its not the person , its their personality and perception of the world. I know some "woke"white girls that would make a better companion the alot of these sistas. Lots of latinas that seem to make good loyal companions. I also see lots of beautiful sistas looking for a good man. It really depends on location and what the person is about. same ethnicity can make it easier but by no means is that the measuring stick of compatibility

 

[Kuwka_Atcha_Ratcha]

First of all let me start by saying I love all black people.

But I am a foundational black American even though I was born and live most of my life in the big cities of the Northeast my roots are in the Deep South . That is also how I have lived my life so most of my lived experience is that of a black man in America.

My observation in my point of view is better off the met somebody of your own ethnic background.

If your black American you better off marrying another Foundation black American.

If you are a Haitian you better off marrying another Haitian

If your some sort of African like Nigerian and you're better off marrying somebody from your country.



I remember I had a homeboy who was in Jamaican and he told me he had to ditch his black girlfriend because she kept saying disrespectful things about his Pat's why and the way Jamaicans cook their food and the things that they ate. After a while it just got irritating.

I could not imagine having to explain certain things about being a black man in America to a woman from a Caribbean African or( Latin culture even if she is black).

Some of my immediate relatives who are older now have a lot of psychological problems because of the things they experienced growing up and the Jim Crow Mississippi & Alabama. It's just entirely too much work try each someone what it is like to be a foundational black American. And some of the things that we have been through.

As an English black man that lives in America this is nonsense

Problem is most black Americans have never left America so don't really know much outside of America, but in certain places like new York a black American woman is going to know about Jamaican food or Jamaican culture to some degree

 

[MajesticLion]

 

[GodsPerspective]

This is a female y'all. Some of them can be amongst the most mentally ill and dedicated posters on a forum... especially the fat ones

 

[null]

I could not imagine having to explain certain things about being a black man in America to a woman from a Caribbean African or( Latin culture even if she is black)

Date stupid people in 2020 brehs ...

 

[generic-username]

OP is right. Culture is way more important than race when it comes to connecting with people.

I remember when I first came to the US in my early teens, people would ask me if I rode elephants, lions, etc while I was in Africa. Little things like that exposed the huge cultural difference.

 

[Dwolf]

Blocked.