Coli Breh that have had kid(s) with your girl and maintained the relationship..whats the secret??

T

TLR Is Mental Poison

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True Blue Moon said:
Disclaimer, I don't have kids but I've been married for more than 10 years. But the simple answer, which isn't easy in execution because it is a lifelong journey, is to get on your purpose as a man.

Build your highest self and your most abundant life for YOU, and provide for your family by also letting this abundance trickle down in service and protection for you, your woman and your kid. Make your mission your highest priority (and I'm sure creating the best family you can build is also part of that mission) and keep that as your north star and way of life every day that you wake up and improve yourself.

She'll fall in line with whatever tone and direction you set as long as you are setting one, and that it is rooted in you being a man who is on his purpose and who openly blesses the crib with his masculine gifts. She's wired to be attracted to that, ESPECIALLY during a time as biologically dire as carrying your child.

You, as a man most likely already know which areas of your life you aren't living your peak purpose. She responds to the way you are honestly attacking that and showing up in the world as a man on his mission A LOT more than anything you tell her, because her eggs and biology respond to her knowing she picked the best and most credible suitor. What you want is for her to be inspired to want to fukk you and be attracted to you -- not just obligated.

She responds to who you are as a man in her judgment and estimation more than any agreement or understanding y'all will ever have, breh. Trust me on that. But remember, this is your path as a man, so grow and improve to create the vision of your best life possible --not just to check the boxes of things that she likes.

In fact, when you're on your purpose there will be plenty of times where listening to what she says or doing exactly what she wants you to is the wrong answer.

Pregnant or not, women are like the weather. They're not crazy, but they're going to have more emotional fluctuations than you do. I can legit look my wife in the eyes and see her overthinking mind calculating and drawing conclusions about some shyt that I said 5x faster than the rate I said it.

It's a place of comfort for her to exist like the weather, so she's comfortable working out her issues like that. If you worked your issues out in that way it would rightfully be stressful as fukk. The more solid you stand in the face of her storms, the more she'll know you're the rock and she can trust your judgment, direction and the support and comfort that you provide to the household.

The underlying message is that if you can handle her storms and uncertainty while being rooted in yourself and your purpose as a man, then you can also handle whatever the world throws your way.

I'm not saying put up with disrespect, but you gotta be able to stand solid and know what you know, no matter how the fukk she's acting, because you're a man on his purpose and you know where you're going. Stay present with her while she's tripping and let her know through physical touch and solid energy, not just words, that she has nothing to worry about, she's not fukked up for being emotionally all over the place right now, and that y'alls best days are yet to come -- so stay down.

If you become the prize in LIFE as a man on his purpose, and show up in your relationship as that prize, AND make it so that her life and the household elevates and is taken care of as a result, you'll find that it opens her and she'll be the baddest motherfukking asset to help you in your purpose as a king as you also uplift her to her highest good.

But this is some no days off type shyt...

Making this shyt a lifestyle will keep you locked in so you can fluidly show up how you need to as your own man, as her man, as a professional and as a father.

You're bout to go on a journey :blessed:
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This post combined with that avi is why I still love The Coli :dead: :salute:
 
datnigDASTARDLY

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GinaThatAintNoDamnPuppy! said:
This is all I'm trying to say. I don't think brehs are wrong to be angry or frustrated if their needs aren't being met. But there's a difference between that and being resentful that your needs are no longer top priority

If you have good communication and mutual respect shyt should be cool. And if it isn't you will at least have the foundation and bigger vision to get through it instead of being self centered and resentful :yeshrug:
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I find that back when I was learning to listen and not just hear her, that I was resentful because she wasn't picking up my defiant cues like I was supposed to pick up hers. But that's a young man's problem :francis:

You do have to be a bigger man and realize that society never gave her the tools like they've given you. Because your purpose should and will change soon enough.

And that's why old school nikkas had it right...i could give two fukks as long as my house is in order, I'll get mines when I get it.

Which is precisely what men were put on this earth for :usure:
 
klientel

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My boy is 1 now and we went through the exact same shyt but it wasn't consistent. Some days she was agitated, never wanted to have sex, nitpicked every little thing I did and then some days she was back to normal and my girl again. I was low key miserable, if it wasn't for my son I might have threw in the towel. It went on for about a year and then it kinda just stopped. Not sure why but 90% of the time shes fine now. I dunno what the hell was going on, and I don't ask.

But now shes pregnant again....
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I would say just maybe wait it out. Once my son got a little older and dealing with him wasn't so stressful everything seemed to work itself out.
 
klientel

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Marzupial said:
Interesting

How did you react to her shyt? Would you engage in fights with her or would you just ignore her?
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Before all this shyt I would just ignore her, I used to think no man should be going back and forth with a woman like that. :scust:

But now after dealing with her mood swings and the stress of a new baby....if she wanna pop shyt, we can go at it. I dont let shyt slide now, she make a little slick comment or have an attitude for no reason, we gonna deal with it right then and there. I just can't help it...something clicked and now I like to argue just as much as her it seems. Half the time I dont even realize I'm doing it.
 
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klientel said:
Before all this shyt I would just ignore her, I used to think no man should be going back and forth with a woman like that. :scust:

But now after dealing with her mood swings and the stress of a new baby....if she wanna pop shyt, we can go at it. I dont let shyt slide now, she make a little slick comment or have an attitude for no reason, we gonna deal with it right then and there. I just can't help it...something clicked and now I like to argue just as much as her it seems. Half the time I dont even realize I'm doing it.
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Again interesting

I always heard about that ignore her stuff, but when I address the bullshyt like you said it does get ugly but in the aftermath I get the feeling that they respect me more

Tricky subject:patrice:
 
True Blue Moon

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Marzupial said:
Again interesting

I always heard about that ignore her stuff, but when I address the bullshyt like you said it does get ugly but in the aftermath I get the feeling that they respect me more

Tricky subject:patrice:
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Rather than ignore her, learn how to use relationship judo or jiu jitsu. Remember that everything y'all do is an energy exchange. She needs to know that she can't fukk with you when y'all spar.

Instead of just reacting when she pushes your buttons, immediately take a deep breath and get a feel for why she's testing you or what's really going on. That's impossible to do if you get caught up in what she's saying more than feeling the energy of why she's fukking with you to begin with.

This shyt is a sport, nikka :blessed:

Make your reads and then dig into your bag of tricks. For example:

1. She's being bratty but not egregiously disrespectful.

You could "flip her on her head" with verbal judo and hit her with some playful slick shyt that shows that you're not affected by what she's throwing your way, so you're not going to dignify it by making an issue out of it, but you GIVE some good energy back anyway in the form of your charisma or sense of humor.

This is a matter of personality and knowing your woman, and don't be afraid to take the L and make mistakes when building your bag of tricks. I personally find that audacity is always good. Being cocky and funny works, like telling her you're going to spank her with her momma's hot comb if she keeps talking trash.

Say something sexist that makes her jaw drop. That half-smile/half-gasp from you saying something audacious takes 90% of the fight out and will probably make her horny.

2. She's being complainy and unreasonable and treating everything you do like it's wrong

You can PLAYFULLY make the whole shyt out to be ridiculous.

Your girl: You never put the clothes up the right way :usure:

You: (obviously playful) I HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY OK :damn: :mjcry:

OR

fukking tickle her or make noises on her stomach with your mouth or play fight her. Anything that lets you use alchemy to change her energy to a different emotion.

But with that said, read into the situation and also let her know that you hear her concern if it's a legit one.

Playfight and tickle her, and then when she's at that moment of squealing and playfully calling you an a$$hole hit her with:

You: I could put the clothes up a little better. You trying to teach me something :shaq::mjlit:

3. She's just being mean or unreasonable for the fukk of it

First, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GET UNEMOTIONAL. Emotion feeds her emotion and makes her more powerful. You don't have the emotional capacity that she does and that shyt will burn you out and leave you gassed. Make her "fight" on your terrain.

Then, ask her some questions to take the steam out.

You:

That's interesting. Why do you feel that way? :jbhmm:

This doesn't feel like love. What are you trying to communicate to me, right now? :jbhmm:

I didn't know we were fighting. Was that the best way to express yourself? :jbhmm:

EYE CONTACT. EYE CONTACT. EYE CONTACT.

If you're solid and on your square that'll take most of the steam out and then let you ask more questions to extract what's really going on. i.e. -- she's really mad because she thought you said something rude at dinner last night or feels scared or uncomfortable about something in the relationship. Keep her on the conversation by making it your goal to see what needs to be resolved in the big picture, rather than going back and forth like a detective trapping each other in semantics to "win" the argument.

BUT if she doubles down being argumentative, DON'T RUN. Stand firmer on your square and get even more calm, and keep eye contact. If you have problems keeping calm eye contact in the face of her being a brat then you got some internal work to do while bettering yourself as a man.

The key is to FIRMLY assert your boundary, while framing it out of self-love and letting her know that you're sniping the fukk out of her action, but not shutting the door on her as a person. Just make it clear that if she wants open arms, sunny days and the benefits and blessings of your kingdom, it's only if she checks herself.

Your girl: HELL YEAH I'M MAD AND YOU JUST GONNA HAVE TO TAKE IT FOR HOW STUPID YOU WERE ACTING AT DINNER LAST NIGHT :usure: :damn:

You: :jbhmm: You've given me a lot to think about, but check this out...

I can't tell you what to say or how to say it, but it's against my personal boundaries to let anybody talk to me that way. Aside from that, I love you too much to play the role of the wack nikka that's going to sit here and go back and forth with you when we could just talk. Next thing you know we'll be in this bytch arguing until the cops get called, and we both deserve better than that corny shyt.

You grown. I can't make you communicate with me effectively if you don't want to :hubie:

I'm dedicated to building this kingdom with you if you're trying to live the good life, and that means listening to your feedback and correcting myself as a man when necessary. But if you can't meet me halfway and respect this boundary then like I said ... You've given me a lot to think about :manny:
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If she still wants an argument, unemotionally hit her with the broken record:

Her: WELL IF YOU DIDN'T fukk UP I WOULDN'T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THIS! :usure:

You: Even still. This is my personal boundary and I won't budge on it :hubie:

Her: YOU ACT LIKE YOU SO PERFECT! WHAT ABOUT THE TIME YOU CAME AT ME SIDEWAYS!!! :usure:

You: You could be absolutely right. But this is my personal boundary and I won't budge on it :hubie:

----

All in all bruh, women test you to see if you're the man you say you are. Rather than disengage, stay in the pocket, read the situation and let her know she can't fukk with you on any level with what she's trying to do, OR read the situation and figure out what she needs in the moment if she has legitimate issue, but redirect her to express it in a way that is best for everyone involved.

It's a lot easier to do when you ACTUALLY are centered on your purpose and not swayed by the bullshyt because you ACTUALLY know that you're better than the bullshyt. By enforcing a boundary like a man in control of himself and his environment, or just showing her your mettle by staying playful and not giving her an argument just because SHE wants one, you pass the "test" and level up. If you get caught in emotional back and forths or otherwise let her knock you off your square, you lose points.

When you just ignore her, you break even at best. When you stand tall in the face of the battle and re-route the energy on your terms, you're taking a moment to show LEADERSHIP, which is the best currency you can have in your relationship with your woman and is much better than breaking even.

Disclaimer -- Once you learn to not be affected by this shyt and see it for the test it is, it's like the Matrix and you'll judo her with one hand tied behind your back and those panties will start getting wetter and wetter :banderas:

Live this shyt, be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personal, and never be afraid to take an L :salute:
 
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