Coli Fathers (who raise their kids) Thread

[Lakers Offseason]

2 kids.

Be patient.

Make them understand there are rules. And breaking rules have consequences.

Constantly yelling at them does not accomplish anything.

Pick wisely when to be hard on them and when to encourage them. Every kid is different so there isn't a perfect template.

Don't be afraid to spank your kid, but if you're doing it too often, it's not working.

Most importantly, be consistent.

 

[AZBeauty]

My parents were like that. I am the only girl. They fought about it. She will understand when she is older. Remember she is a child and lashing out because she doesn't like being punished. But you know you are doing the the right thing. My mother and I have a great relationship now.

he need too get over that shyt. I'm looked as the mean parent which I'm perfectly fine cuz i will instill discipline in my kids i dont want too be ur favorite parent i want u too respect me and listen
my wife does discipline them but not as much as or as strong as i do so they will tend too favor her but listen too me more which i prefer

i get it hurts too hear her cry but him doing that in the long run he is the one thats gonna have problems cuz she wont respect him especially if he tries later down the line and she will respect u more cuz u have from the get go. dont let the mean parent thing get too u better too be that and respected then favorite and not respected as she gets older I've seen it happen way too many times.

just tell him and keep reminding him he has too help out and make him be there will ur doing it so she can see that her father is letting it happen and he needs too grow a pair balls no offense and work with u so u can both be a team too get it under control
one parent will always be the nice and favorite while the other wont thats just how it is

Thanks guys. That's encouraging. I just don't want her to think I'm mean to her and everyone else is so nice and fun.

Twan I have spoke to him in at least 10 times in the last two years about this. Like let's sit down and have a serious discussion about this. He says it hurts him to know she is hurting or sad and that I shouldn't force him to spank her and that's definitely not what I'm trying to do. Hell it stresses me out to always be the one yelling. She is my only child but he has 3 adult children and he said he has never spanked them so he won't spank her. He buys her anything she wants. She is 5 yrs old with a Samsung galaxy 3 tablet. Then when her and I are out in the store she flips out if I tell her no. He is making MY parenting responsibility harder. He just can't get it through his head that he is working against me.

 

[Blankthawtz]

Salute!

I'm having a problem with my husband and him not disciplining our daughter. It's so stressful because he makes me the bad parent. My daughter tells me I'm mean to her and sometimes it makes me want to cry. That is not my intention but someone has to discipline her and he just won't do it. He is looked at as the fun parent and I'm the mean. It's a BIG problem to me and his is ignoring it. He go as far as leaving the house when I spank her, saying it hurts him to hear her cry. I need help brehs.

i'm half and half on this one.....my father was the disciplinary and my mother was the "easy" parent....but i was very close to both my parents...i grew up feelin that both gave me an even balance on everything...and thats the way i am raising my son and hope he appreciates it in the future....i want to be the fun/disciplinary parent....not his friend but not so strict that he can't bond with me like a friend(hope that makes sense)....your husband probably got a huge soft spot for his daughter...if yall had a son it would probably be diff....he needs to work on gaining a balance so you don't have to be considered the "bad guy" all the time...

 

[Crakface]

Im with my son all day today while my wife does laundry. Hes watching numberland. Around noon my wife is going to bring me lunch and im going to take my son to the park so he can practice walking on the grass. He can walk halfway across the living room.

I was considering putting him in a learning pre school around age 2 -3 but i changed my mind and have decided to keep him incubated in the home as long as possible so i can properly prepare his mind for the world that is waiting for him.

We took him to the mall and there was a play area. My son was playing wth something and some little 2 year old came over and pushed his hand off the toy so he could play with it. My son is 10 months old. He looked at that boy like but it was at that moment i realized i didnt want him around other kids until he can slap the shyt out of someone that gets on his nerves.

 

[AZBeauty]

i'm half and half on this one.....my father was the disciplinary and my mother was the "easy" parent....but i was very close to both my parents...i grew up feelin that both gave me an even balance on everything...and thats the way i am raising my son and hope he appreciates it in the future....i want to be the fun/disciplinary parent....not his friend but not so strict that he can't bond with me like a friend(hope that makes sense)....your husband probably got a huge soft spot for his daughter...if yall had a son it would probably be diff....he needs to work on gaining a balance so you don't have to be considered the "bad guy" all the time...

I agree. Im going to ask him to read what you and @twan83 have typed. Thats all I want is balance. My daughter loves me..cries if she wakes up and im off to work but she will choose him over me as far as who she rather be during activites.

 

[Crakface]

My son is two different babies. When its just me and him hes chill but once his mother comes around he becomes a whining crybaby because obviously moms will fold under the pressure of whining and tears. I think when your woman is in the kitchen doing things its best to keep your child occupied so he doesnt get into a bad habit of whining for his mommy all the time. He was screaming from the barrier in the kitchen and i looked around the corner like and he toned it down but i went and picked him up and brought him to his room and just sat on the couch with him. This boy said *ma maaaa* cryin. I was like hell nah and since then ive been making sure hes doing something when my wife is doing busy cleaning or cooking. When they whine like that all your girl is going to say is *whaatt is it baby, or shhhhh* babies like After a long day of work you may want to just relax and cant deal with the fukkery but, you gotta deal with the fukkery because i can imagine in a few years the cry baby antics escalating to public places.

 

[Raava]

Thanks guys. That's encouraging. I just don't want her to think I'm mean to her and everyone else is so nice and fun.

Twan I have spoke to him in at least 10 times in the last two years about this. Like let's sit down and have a serious discussion about this. He says it hurts him to know she is hurting or sad and that I shouldn't force him to spank her and that's definitely not what I'm trying to do. Hell it stresses me out to always be the one yelling. She is my only child but he has 3 adult children and he said he has never spanked them so he won't spank her. He buys her anything she wants. She is 5 yrs old with a Samsung galaxy 3 tablet. Then when her and I are out in the store she flips out if I tell her no. He is making MY parenting responsibility harder. He just can't get it through his head that he is working against me.

It really is unfair to you. You need to explain to him how much she will regret this when she gets older and doesn't take him seriously. There is going to come a time when she won't be little anymore and have even more attitude and rebellion. He will try to tell her what to do and she is going to brush it off. It is not just about hearing her cry now, it is about establishing a parenting relationship. She is the only child and a girl so she is getting spoiled, understandable but when you don't have a balance it will come back to bite you in the ass when she gets older. Maybe he doesn't have to spank her, some dad's don't spank girls. But he does need to be an authority figure.

 

[4North1Side2]

My sons are ages 7 and almost 5 now. I used to post pics of them on SOHH.com, well here's an updated pic of them. Yeah I know I got a struggle Christmas tree haha

My oldest is very much like me, very care free, goofy and happy. My youngest is a lil princess, it's like a girl in a boys body. He's very cute but then gets that entitlement complex so I send his ass back to his room to sleep it off. We have an hell of a time together they don't even call me Dad. They call me bro lol. Plus points they are both gamers already so we be doing Halo, Call of Duty, etc on XBOX Live together. Always good times.

 

[Still Benefited]

Its cool to see my daughter act a lot like me even at a young age...she better not grow up likin women though...or men for that matter

enjoy parenthood a lot more than I thought I would,but now I need that son....I just gotta decide to stop cheating,i don't wanna get caught and then have two kids with a woman I cant see,i gotta cut the bullshyt out....my original plan was to not have kids until I got old and wore out,im 27 and it aint happened yet tho....but I think im about there so I wanna go ahead and have my son which I wish I coulda had a son first but that's life...I know damn well baby mama better try to Kobe me,if she cant give me sons ima have to explore other options,it aint my fault,i hits it hard

 

[Still Benefited]

Thanks guys. That's encouraging. I just don't want her to think I'm mean to her and everyone else is so nice and fun.

Twan I have spoke to him in at least 10 times in the last two years about this. Like let's sit down and have a serious discussion about this. He says it hurts him to know she is hurting or sad and that I shouldn't force him to spank her and that's definitely not what I'm trying to do. Hell it stresses me out to always be the one yelling. She is my only child but he has 3 adult children and he said he has never spanked them so he won't spank her. He buys her anything she wants. She is 5 yrs old with a Samsung galaxy 3 tablet. Then when her and I are out in the store she flips out if I tell her no. He is making MY parenting responsibility harder. He just can't get it through his head that he is working against me.

That's my position with my daughter,i will say no but I intervene when she bout to get a spanking like ,or I might override my baby mamas "no's" my daughter aint old enuff for it to really matter quite yet I don't think...I look at it as when I have a son ima have to be hard on him and he wont like me for a while,and she will have a chance to be the good guy...so just have a son to balance it out

 

[Youngdev]

My son is 6 and my daughter is 5. They like 14 months apart. Same chic. Me and her split up like three yrs ago, i usually have the kids a two or three days out the week tho. Me and her pretty cool to.

It ain't bad at all. My kids mother is ridiculously over protective though. She got my big ass 6 yr old son in a little ass car seat. Saying it has to be 5 points.

I gotta go pay 170 for these gymnastic classes for my daughter


I'm Bout to get one last game of 2k in before I pick them up from school tho.

 

[AZBeauty]

That's my position with my daughter,i will say no but I intervene when she bout to get a spanking like ,or I might override my baby mamas "no's" my daughter aint old enuff for it to really matter quite yet I don't think...I look at it as when I have a son ima have to be hard on him and he wont like me for a while,and she will have a chance to be the good guy...so just have a son to balance it out

Well that's awful advice lmao. I don't think I'm having anymore children. My one is going to be my only. It's a huge responsibility.

 

[daboywonder2002]

daughter 3 y/o
- bright intelligent child, with a temper. loves to read, paint and play memory.
- also she goes apeshyt as soon as she hears Pharrell's Happy

son 2,5 months
- im thinkin this young gawd will suprise us..
- extremely satisfied (young gawd is constantly smiling)

brag about your kids breh

did you like having your kids so close together?? i got a 2 year old daughter (turned 2 dec 1) and i got a son coming in march. i honestly wanted to wait till my daughter turned 4 to have another child. but that's not happening.

 

[Family Man]

My boy will be turning 1 in the next 3 weeks. Can't believe it's been a year already. Getting to know my son and building a relationship with him has been the best experience of my life. I just watch him in awe sometimes. Make sure you cherish every moment you have together with your child.

 

[daboywonder2002]

having a daughter is the best if you ask me. it's a diff type of feeling though. a babygirl makes your heart melt and you get a warm feeling inside. i see the way the game talks and raves about his daughter. i feel the exact way about mines. there's no greater feeling than coming home from work and you open that door and she runs towards you. when you go to brush your teeth, she grabs her toothbrush to do the same. when you wash your hands, she wants to wash hers. when you put on hip hop music and she bobs her head up and down.