Coli Fathers (who raise their kids) Thread

[|r|e|a|d|]

I have 2, Son 5 born hours after Obama elected and baby girl turns 3 in may.

The greatest f'n thing i ever did, them lil shortys complete me and scare me at the same damn time. It's funny watching their personalities develop and seeing the traits of you and their mother manifest themselves. My son is the nicest mofo on the planet, i joke that i gotta break him out that ish its a cold world. My daughter thinks the world revolves around her and she will let you know it. She has an independent streak a mile wide and takes pride in that ish. Black woman in training, i gotta be mindful to curb that in some instances and promote it in others, but thats my heart.
My son tho thats my pride and joy he is about the size of an 8y/o so i gotta remind hte older kids in the neighborhood he not they age even tho he bigger than a few of em.. But he love math & can do his 2,3,5 & 10 multiplication tables, i got him solvin for X a lil bit. I just feed him stuff and it amazes me how quickly he catches on. He gassed right now because when the last few snows happened i let him start the cars so errymorn now he wanna go out and start the start the cars to warm em up.
Yesterday just signed him up for baseball and her gymnastics.

 

[AZBeauty]

That's why we have daddy's girls and mama's boys.

I'm the same way with my daughter but when it comes to my son, me and my wife's roles are reversed.

I think the key is to use those roles to your advantage. Since that's his baby girl he should show his disappointment in her behavior. That will do more than you spanking her. I never spank my daughter. I just look at her and it burns her little soul to the point she'll straighten up. Same goes for my wife and my son. I'll talk reasonably to him like a grown man but the ultimate blow is his mother showing disappointment. He can't have that so she usually gets better results with him. Just use that as the secret weapon though because too much will desensitize them. These lil muhfukkas is smart and manipulative as hell lol.

Yeah he MIGHT show disappointment and that will rattle her but he is not consistent at all. I made him read this thread this morning and he said stop talking about me on the Internet. nikka didn't even acknowledge the real issue. However, I take alot of the responsibility because although his kids are grown he and I have been together a very long time and I have never liked the way he punished his kids. He uses money and not actual discipline to punish them. He won't buy them something to show he is upset about whatever his issue is. We should have had a conversation before I even popped her out. Arrgh.

 

[ItzDaKiing]

Yeah he MIGHT show disappointment and that will rattle her but he is not consistent at all. I made him read this thread this morning and he said stop talking about me on the Internet. nikka didn't even acknowledge the real issue. However, I take alot of the responsibility because although his kids are grown he and I have been together a very long time and I have never liked the way he punished his kids. He uses money and not actual discipline to punish them. He won't buy them something to show he is upset about whatever his issue is. We should have had a conversation before I even popped her out. Arrgh.

Truth is nothin could've prepared you for that, with every child it's a new learning experience

 

[JasonSJackson]

she's 5 yrs old

my bad responding so late. For the most part, when you discpline her does he agree that she is deserving of some form of punishment for the action?

 

[Dwolf]

Yeah he MIGHT show disappointment and that will rattle her but he is not consistent at all. I made him read this thread this morning and he said stop talking about me on the Internet. nikka didn't even acknowledge the real issue. However, I take alot of the responsibility because although his kids are grown he and I have been together a very long time and I have never liked the way he punished his kids. He uses money and not actual discipline to punish them. He won't buy them something to show he is upset about whatever his issue is. We should have had a conversation before I even popped her out. Arrgh.

What did she do to get popped?

 

[Kaypain]

It does take patience but if you genuine love your child. Nothing can break a Man's bond with his child unless his love for his child does.


If you can't handle it

Do some reps with him

 

[AZBeauty]

my bad responding so late. For the most part, when you discpline her does he agree that she is deserving of some form of punishment for the action?

Not in front of her. Sometimes he will say "sit down you know you momma gone beat your butt" She is an only child, she's hyper and commands a lot of attention with her personality. However, she doesn't know when to stop. One example is she hates going to sleep so at night she makes up stories about witches being in her room, her teddy bears are talking, she's cold, she's hot, she has fairies hanging from her ceiling but all of a sudden at bed time they are flying around etc LOL. She will go on and on then be a hour past her bed time until I spank her or threaten too. She is spoiled basically.

What did she do to get popped?

See above.

 

[AVXL]

My daughter just turned two...no better feeling than coming home and hearing "Daddy!" and getting a big hug from her. Her little personality is all over the place, but I love every second of it...from the temper tantrums to watching her learn to holding her at night. My biggest advice is patience and not overreacting to the small irritating things children do so you can keep the peace

 

[AVXL]

What stores do you like to get your kids clothes from?? i like to catch sales. target is good when they have stuff. i like carters, h and m, babies r us. any stores im sleeping on??

anyone else's child hooked on sprout tv. my daughter loves it. chicka, nina and star. im always watching it with her.

as far as daycare, do you guys use a homedaycare or an actual center. my daughter needs to be around other kids. i wouldnt mind a homedaycare. but i want her to learn. if i wanted her to sit and watch tv, she can do that at home. im worried the home daycare wont have much structure. that its more of a babysitter than a daycare

Macy's & The Children's Place is where we get most of our clothes for her...it helps we both work for Macy's and get our discount, but kids clearance at Macy's has pretty good prices

Baby First TV & Doc McStuffins is all over our house

My Grandmother & Aunt watched our daughter right up until she was 1. Going to daycare has really helped improve her social skills & development, I'd definitely recommend it if you can find a good place

 

[Dwolf]

Not in front of her. Sometimes he will say "sit down you know you momma gone beat your butt" She is an only child, she's hyper and commands a lot of attention with her personality. However, she doesn't know when to stop. One example is she hates going to sleep so at night she makes up stories about witches being in her room, her teddy bears are talking, she's cold, she's hot, she has fairies hanging from her ceiling but all of a sudden at bed time they are flying around etc LOL. She will go on and on then be a hour past her bed time until I spank her or threaten too. She is spoiled basically.



See above.

Saying "sit down you know you momma gone beat your butt" is making you further look like the bad cop in the situation. Instead he should just be reinforcing what you tell her to do. Something like, listen to your mom when she tell you to go to bed. Or maybe make it his responsibility to put her to bed.

 

[JasonSJackson]

Not in front of her. Sometimes he will say "sit down you know you momma gone beat your butt" She is an only child, she's hyper and commands a lot of attention with her personality. However, she doesn't know when to stop. One example is she hates going to sleep so at night she makes up stories about witches being in her room, her teddy bears are talking, she's cold, she's hot, she has fairies hanging from her ceiling but all of a sudden at bed time they are flying around etc LOL. She will go on and on then be a hour past her bed time until I spank her or threaten too. She is spoiled basically.



See above.

From what you posted it seems like he's using you as the boogie man to keep him from having to do any real discipline. "Don't make me tell your mother" instead of directly discipling her when he knows she's doing something inappropriate. That's something you are going to have to check him on because it's going to create a real problem for your relationship with her down the road. Who wants to be friends with the boogie man? Nobody lol

 

[AZBeauty]

Saying "sit down you know you momma gone beat your butt" is making you further look like the bad cop in the situation. Instead he should just be reinforcing what you tell her to do. Something like, listen to your mom when she tell you to go to bed. Or maybe make it his responsibility to put her to bed.

From what you posted it seems like he's using you as the boogie man to keep him from having to do any real discipline. "Don't make me tell your mother" instead of directly discipling her when he knows she's doing something inappropriate. That's something you are going to have to check him on because it's going to create a real problem for your relationship with her down the road. Who wants to be friends with the boogie man? Nobody lol

Exactly what I been saying the whole thread. I've told him this. My daughter is crazy about me NOW but I know down the line she is going to feel like I was being men to her. I make sure I always do fun things with her and take her places so she can see I'm not always going to be hollering. He just has this she is my princess, she's perfect attitude and I'm not going to spank her thing going. I don't even need the spanking, just him to do the discipline sometimes so I'm not always yelling. If and when he has ever raised his voice at her she got right in line but then she'd do something to make him feel bad and she right back at it.

Edit: Like now she should be sleep but they are in living room wrestling. SMH He keeps calling me to come get her instead of telling her to go to bed.

 

[Dwolf]

Exactly what I been saying the whole thread. I've told him this. My daughter is crazy about me NOW but I know down the line she is going to feel like I was being men to her. I make sure I always do fun things with her and take her places so she can see I'm not always going to be hollering. He just has this she is my princess, she's perfect attitude and I'm not going to spank her thing going. I don't even need the spanking, just him to do the discipline sometimes so I'm not always yelling. If and when he has ever raised his voice at her she got right in line but then she'd do something to make him feel bad and she right back at it.

Edit: Like now she should be sleep but they are in living room wrestling. SMH He keeps calling me to come get her instead of telling her to go to bed.

Ok let him deal with bed time from now on and just take a step back.. If he keeps calling you tell him to deal with it, go out to the store during it, etc etc. He will burn himself out of all that play before bed shyt in a week..

 

[Blankthawtz]

It does take patience but if you genuine love your child. Nothing can break a Man's bond with his child unless his love for his child does.


If you can't handle it

Do some reps with him

i do this with my son like second nature...i think every dude treats they lil one like a weight....

 

[↓R↑LYB]

My daughter is due next month

Edit: first time parent btw

Damn breh. How does it feel one day some big dikk nikka will be long stroking the fukk outta your baby girl