Dealing with Depression...how do you do it?

[ISO]

Improve your job prospects, move out that shyt hole city, get a girl or rotation

Since you say you’re broke I would say get the cheapest room available so you can save most of your checks after a year bounce

fukk that event you survived you strong breh

It’s going to take steps and years

“until I come across a BLACK MALE THERAPIST...I refuse to go to therapy. I'm not talking to no black man hating black female therapist calling us "dusty bytches" on TikTok.”

You need to reduce your time on the internet clearly it’s affecting your psyche with these talking points and it wouldn’t be hard to find a black male therapist although they wouldn’t tell you much different than any other therapist

 

[africngiant]

i don’t think that shyt can be helped tbh. some things forever alter your brain and whatever new experiences reinforce your old ones will just give you the same confirmation bias about the world.

men just gotta adopt a realist mindset about our world vs womens. white vs black. they seem a lot more happy and cottled then us. we deal with a lot more violence and traumatic situations and people care less with our support systems

you might as well just tap in to your experience and take fighting classes like tyson did to rebuild your worth in your dynamic as a black man vs the opposition. to take the anger and adrenaline out from that moment

 

[Pool_Shark]

i don’t think that shyt can be helped tbh. some things forever alter your brain and whatever new experiences that reinforce your old ones it will just give you the same confirmation bias about the world.

It's not pretty but as men we overcome that shyt. fukk we're still here posting about it. We weren't supposed to make it but we did, let's keep going

 

[Cloutius Maximus]

Take a break from The Coli. Seriously, I'm not making a joke. Start lifting weights and getting fresh air by walking around outside, especially on days with nice weather.

especially TLR

 

[Matt504]

Therapy



I once had the faulty idea that no one outside of myself should be able to help me resolve my issues and I'm here to tell you that's a lie.

 

[east]

I deal with depression by:

- Making Music
- Skateboarding
- Collecting sneakers
- Buying clothes
- Talking online to people (cause I don't talk to many people in my real life)

collecting isn't a healthy coping mechanism imo https://www.thecoli.com/threads/i-cant-control-these-urges-please-help.958462/#post-48332405

i didn't talk about depression there cause it was kind of a shytpost but copping new kicks or a nice fit and admiring the rewards of my hard work does drive my demons away too... only for a baby bit tho, i've come to realize it's a quick hit of relief like crack and can't ever be the cure.

 

[Mʀ2ᴋDᴇᴇᴢ]

Personally I just look at how our ancestors put up with shyt and still soldiered thru regardless. I have this mentality if they were able to find a reason to get up and live despite all the challenges, obstacles, hinderances they faced then I can deal with being in a little funk for awhile.

But in 2023 we have the luxury of just taking a break from it all, get away and take a vacation. fukk some women, have a drink or some weed

 

[Ricky Dunigan]

I went in a bad cycle of destructive behavior, improvement ( losing over 40 lbs) , then destructive again.

I had to break the cycle. Now I improve what I can and am more open about my feelings.

Personally, cooking brings me peace ( which is a HUGE surprise to me). So keep looking, it’s a big world and not everything is horrible.

 

[drederick tatum]

Please don't listen to the one dipshyt who said to avoid therapy. You need to stop with the performative online militancy if you actually want help. Even if you find a black male therapist, it isn't like he's gonna dap you up and pour you a glass of henny when you come into the office. He's going to be a therapist, because it's his life's work.
Therapists aren't there to relate to you, they rarely even talk about their own lives. They're successful PhD's getting paid to help, and sometimes take on abuse from, people, you're a dj; how do you think a therapist is gonna relate to you just because you share the same skin color?
I've never had a black therapist, but therapy helped.

 

[Seoul Gleou]

Is it really that difficult to find a black male therapist??

 

[BmoreGorilla]

OP let’s be completely honest here. You make it clear that you don’t like white folks. Yet you lived in NYC which has a ton of black folks to go to Denver which doesn’t. Plus when you did live in NYC all your roommates were white

 

[A Pimp Named Slickback]

One more thing. Who you associate yourself with is VERY important. Assess people's character. Your friends, women, coworkers, everyone

If they have red personality flags or give you a weird or off vibe, stay away from them. Like it says in the Bible, "Bad company corrupts good character"

fukking multiple women won't help you. It's just like drugs. It feels good. After you release, that feeling is gone. Then you start to chase it again soon after

And if you want a girlfriend/wife, don't look for one. Let it happen organically. When you become the best version of yourself, and put yourself in social situations, shyt just happens. Don't force it or worry about it

People used to always tell me you can't look for love. It comes to you. I used to look at them crazy. Like "what do you mean don't look for it?


Isn't that what dating is?
"

Now I understand. You can't force anything in life. It's like making music. You can't just overthink and try hard to make the most compelling shyt. You have to live life, go out in the world, have some time where you can chill and think, let time go by and it comes to you. You get inspired, you don't chase inspiration

Same thing with love. Things will work out. They always do. Good people win in the end. In this life and the next one

 

[Child_Of_God]

For any other brehs out there that’s struggling with mental illness I strongly advise you all to heavily limit your time on TLR and any other social media sites for that matter. The constant negativity and comparisons on here will fukk your mind up. Trust me.

 

[CoolinInTheCut]

I'm going to try to recommend a couple things that aren't already mentioned here cause yeah obviously therapy and working out helps, we hear that all the time.

Prioritize your sleep. Make it imperative you hit the bed at a certain time and get 7-8 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep. You may need to lean on things like Chamomile extract, melatonin, vitamin D, ashwaganda to actually help you achieve those deep levels of sleep.

Try to minimize or completely eliminate anything that will fukk with your sleep quality like eating poorly or late, bright screens late at night, caffeine, alcohol, trees - you might sleep fast with trees, but it actually prevents you from reaching the deeper levels of sleep to become fully rested, or just limit it to the weekends.

This isn't going to fix your problems in life but you will have a huge shift in mood/happiness and mental clarity, and this will increasingly become stronger if you are able to be consistent with this stuff. You will be far better equipped to deal with your problems like this.

I used to not give a fukk about my sleep on some stupid hustle 24/7 shyt since I work 60 hour weeks in corporate (capital markets), but doing this really improved my quality of life in all areas and gives me so much more mental will power to actually give up bad habits and create new healthy habits with far more ease than I did before. I'm at a point now where I'm super disciplined with working out 2-3x a day, 6-7 times a week, literally training way more than I did back in university.

The next thing I'm going to recommend is a gut cleanse. This is important especially if you have a bad diet, eat late, and don't drink enough water. Having too much bullshyt in your digestive system accumulate over years will impact your mental health and subsequently your depression. Try to drink a gallon of water everyday, a glass of lemon water everyday, replace coffee with herbal teas (I recommend a matcha tea with Ginger and turmeric), and try to do a castor oil cleanse once a week - if you from the islands your parents probably put you onto this already, basically a spoon or shot of castor oil after drinking a few glasses of water. All these things will completely flush your liver and overall system and have you feeling amazing. Make sure you have the whole day free when you do the castor oil cleanse cause you will be shytting all day.

 

[DreadBrown]

I hate to see people put time and energy into helping people who don’t want to be helped

There are alot of insightful posts in this thread but OP probably won’t be back in here

Alot of us are familiar with OPs story and have offered advice before. @cheek100 said he reached out offline and op didn’t respond

This same guy said the coli was causing issues with his family and he’s still here!

Dude in here proudly saying he refuse to get the therapy he knows he needs

Why should we give a fukk?